A Little of the Old In and Out

In: The Great Michael Gross. Our pal, swell guy Michael Gross is, according to British Vogue, on top of the world:

"MADONNA is reportedly casting a group of models to play the likes of Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista, Cindy Crawford and Christy Turlington in a tell-all film about the supermodel world. The American superstar, who is now going by a new Kabbalah-inspired name of Esther, has bought the film rights to Michael Gross' book, Model. David Brendel has written the screenplay for the film, which is due to hit screens sometime next year and will, according to ratethemusic.com, star several of the famous named models themselves."

Congratulations, Michael, if anyone deserves success of this magnitude, it's you.

BREAKING: Madonna, according to fashionweekdaily, re Esther:

"... Though the bag is just now hitting stores, Madonna was already seen toting her one-of-a-kind envelope-shaped shoulder bag to Demi Moore�s Kabbalah soir�e. Made of refined python and crocodile skin, the bag (which doubles as a clutch) comes complete with Swarovski crystals mounted on a grosgrain base and features the designer�s signature robot charm and leather key chain on the detachable handle. Jet appliqu�s, quirky accessory clips, and a novel steel clasp finish off the detailing."

Crazy.

Out: Naming your baby ESPN (pronounced ES-Pen), (link via the very cool Whatevs):

" A Texas couple who named their son ESPN � after the cable sports network � is getting more than a bundle of joy for their decision.
Little 2-year-old ESPN Malachi McCall of Pampa, Texas, is getting his own TV special.

"Turns out he is not the only child with the unique name.

"ESPN ... McCall is one of at least three youngsters in the U.S. known to be named for the sports network. A couple in Corpus Christi named their son Espn Curiel in 2000, the same year Espen Blondeel was born in Michigan.

"And ESPN is taping a special about the kids."

To paraphrase totalitarian-dictator coddling Cindy Adams, "Only in Texas, Kiddies, only in Texas ..."

In: Nicole Kidman. According to the UK's Daily Star (link via Ananova):

"Oscar-winner Nicole Kidman has been offered a ($109 million) blockbuster film deal.

The seven-film contract with Disney to make the Chronicles of Narnia would shoot the actress to the top of Hollywood's highest-paid list.

"And Nicole does not even need to appear on screen to earn the cash.

"Only her voice is needed for the part of the White Witch in the films.

"But a source said: 'Nicole will have to decide whether ($109 million) is worth her while.

"'Knowing you are committed to work on seven films is a tough one.'

Caveat emptor: The Daily Star is the only media vehicle reporting this as of 11 am Monday, so, you know, like: take this as you will. It sounds like an impossible amount, though; but I'm blowing this your way to get some conversation going.

Out: Michiko Kakutani. Kakutani gets the gas face from Vanity Fair scribe James Wolcott on Howard Kurtz's Reliable Sources on CNN:

"KURTZ: Let me just take a moment to explain what we're talking about, a front page 'New York Times' book review by the chief book reviewer of 'The New York Times.' They've since run a second review by -- that was more favorable.

"WOLCOTT: By a real writer, by the way.

"KURTZ: Well, all right. I don't want to berate her right now."

Ka-Pow! Score: Wolcott: 1; Kakutani: Zero.

In: Matt Klam. According to a post he left on TMFTML, he's "writing a story for the NY Times Mag on bloggers." The Corsair salivates. My kingdom for a mention; some New York Times magazine love would be so sweet.

Out: Denise Richards, the 33-year old wife of Heidi Fleiss' top "John," Charlie Sheen, recent mother of Sam, future Playboy model? According to that significant cultural artifact The National Enquirer:

"RED-HOT mama Denise Richards is preparing to bare all for Playboy, only three months after giving birth -- and her hubby Charlie Sheen couldn't be more proud!"

The Corsair cringes, then calculates, coldly, the 12-year gap before little Sam's classmates start picking on her big time.

"'Denise is thrilled that Playboy approached her to model in the magazine so soon after she became a mom,' said an insider. 'She thinks it's an incredible honor.'

The Corsair groans for little Sam.

"And she said that Charlie isn't at all jealous."

The Corsair groans again.

" ... In fact, he's really proud of her and happy that she wants to show off her beautiful body to other men.'

The Corsair is really, really groaning now.

" ... But Denise, who has starred on TV's 'Spin City' and in movies, is nervous about losing her baby fat in time for the photo shoot, say pals. She's hoping to be in Playboy's December issue and the photos have to be completed several months in advance.

"'Right now she's dieting and exercising like crazy so that she'll look her best for the camera,' said the insider. 'She's working with a personal trainer and following her own diet.

"'Already she looks in tip-top shape. But that's not good enough for Denise. She wants to be absolutely perfect when she strips in front of the world.'"

In: Ingrid Sischy. She's all over the place today. On Fashionweekdaily.com, she is, "SEEN: Catherine Zeta-Jones, looking incredibly svelte in a Versace black halter dress, sitting front row next to Interview�s Ingrid Sischy." And, as if that is not enough of a media spotting, in Lloyd Grove's Lowdown, "Publicity magnet Abigail Vona, the 19-year-old author of the just-published memoir 'Bad Girl: Confessions of a Teenage Delinquent,' managed to surprise even seen-it-all Interview mag editor Ingrid Sischy when she showed up for a photo session in SoHo with a pair of handcuffs."

Out: According to the AP, apes at the zoo, there for our leisure, will be able to let off some steam on us, their captors:

"The apes at Lincoln Park Zoo are finally getting a chance to take their revenge on people who for years have been pounding their palms against the glass walls of the primates' old home.

"At the zoo's new Regenstein Center for African Apes, chimpanzees can touch a panel hidden from public view that will shoot harmless bursts of air at unsuspecting visitors.

"'You often hear about chimps spitting or throwing,' said Steve Ross, a behaviorist at the zoo. 'They do that to get a rise out of the public. This gives them that opportunity but in a safe way.'"

Why can't we just watch them on tv? Why do we need to restrict their passage?

In: Bill Clinton. According to New York Magazine's Intelligencer:

"Bill Clinton was nominally exiled from lucrative speaking engagements at U.S. investment banks following his pardon of billionaire fugitive Marc Rich. (According to Senate filings for the years 2001 to 2003, Warburg Pincus was Clinton�s only paid speaking engagement to a U.S. investment firm of 139 speeches reported.) But the exile has ended. Clinton�s speech on June 2 at the Sanford C. Bernstein Strategic Decisions conference at the Waldorf-Astoria is the first real indication that Wall Street firms are once again embracing him. Back in February 2001, Morgan Stanley apologized to clients for paying $125,000 for Clinton�s first postpresidential speech."