Wednesday, June 16, 2004

A Little of The Old In and Out

In: An ethics code for Vanity Fair. Oh, so very in. According to Medialifemagazine:

"A month after the Los Angeles Times and New York Times reported that Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter received a $100,000 finder�s fee for encouraging producers to read 'A Beautiful Mind'�which they then turned into an Academy Award-winning film�publisher Cond� Nast has implemented a code of conduct. The 16-page code, entitled 'What Governs Us,' reads, 'The integrity of Cond� Nast and its employees depends greatly on avoiding conflicts of interest or appearances of such in editorial and business conduct.' Cond� Nast hasn�t publicly reprimanded Carter, but the launch of this new code, so soon after the controversy, gives the impression of doing so. But according to the Los Angeles Times, Carter is still pursuing ethically nebulous deals. The newspaper says he's been negotiating with frequent Vanity Fair advertiser American Express Co. to fund a documentary on the life of his writer friend Fran Lebowitz."

An ethics code, what a capital idea. May I suggest one? Letting years go by without placing an African-American on the cover -- because we all know the entertainment industry, sports, film, those sort of fields (averted gaze), lack people of color (small closing cough of feigned detachment) -- is not ethical.

Out: An infestation of the B-Listers. They are everywhere. Prancing up and down the red carpet, doing wacky things, flashing the camera, trying to offset the fundamental fact that they have no talent. Mostly, this class of people (The Corsair puts on his ethnobiologist hat) -- are famous for video-taped sex and other inappropriate hijinx and shenanegans.

What is it about the heat that brings out the B's? (The Corsair gets philosophical as he strolls across the digital landscape) Is it all the pollen in the air? B-List parties and B-List boldface names are the new black. Who would you rather read about: Nicole Ritchie or Tom Hanks? Uh huh ... me too, baby pop.

In: This picture of Kate Moss, walking down the street with a pint of lager is driving me crazy. The sheerness of that dress is outrageous. Can she not fathom her incredible hotness and the disturbing effect it has on bloggers like me? And that frosty lager -- an adult beverage, to be sure. (The Corsair moistens his lips) Teasing with thy frosty head. Flaxen-hued yummy drink. (The Corsair gives "humid" looks to the lager) Honestly: I don't know if it's the lager or the revealing character of the dress that turns me on more, driving me to distraction.

Okay, so the lager turns me on more, but that doesn't make me a bad person, just: alco-sexual. A lifestyle choice, to be sure.

Out: It aint easy being Pink. Check out this "rainbow connection." Is it just me that finds this amusee? Okay. Just me. Whatever (Averted Gaze).

In: Is Jennifer Aniston knocked up?! Okay (quieter), that was louche of me. Unpardonable. What I meant to say is: Is Mrs. Pitt in "a family way"? There, you see, more bourgois, presto. I can be "corporate." I can sell my soul for the right amount of cash and a Lincoln Town Car and an expense account ... call me Saturday Night Live writing staff ... call-me?

Anyhoo: The Sun puts the latest celebrity impregantion more delicately than I:

"IT�S the biggest game of 'Is she or isn�t she?' in town.

"Just days after her FRIENDS co-star COURTENEY COX gave birth, rumours are rife that JENNIFER ANISTON is now pregnant.

"After months of saying she is ready to start a family, Jennifer is believed to be expecting her first child with the divine BRAD PITT.

"A source revealed: 'This is something both Brad and Jennifer want. Expect an announcement later this month.'

"Jennifer�s spokesman said: 'I keep hearing that rumour' � but has so far refused to confirm or deny it."

All these celebrities humping. It's got to be the heat.

Out: Tucker Carlson, bragging about his tv show, on PBS at -- snicker, get this -- 10:30 pm on a Friday Night:

"... Carlson, whose talk show, 'Tucker Carlson: Unfiltered' premieres Friday night (WNET/13 at 10:30 p.m.) and is suddenly - unwittingly, to hear Carlson - in the vanguard of new right-wing talk shows about to invade - er, enter - PBS' rarified realm.

"'Let me say right off the bat,' says Carlson, right off the bat, 'that I know so little about the back story' of why 'Unfiltered' has arrived at PBS. 'I'm doubtless certain there is one, but it's never been explained to me [and] I'm still confused by how the whole works - the stations, PBS, the Congress. The whole thing is all confusing to me.'"

We so won't be there for you, Tucker: So. Not. There.

In: According to Indiewire, Napoleon Dynamite:

"Fox Searchlight's 'Napoleon Dynamite' proved its box office bang, opening in limited runs in the U.S. and topping the iW BOT as ranked by screen average. The film unseated 'Control Room,' which dominated the chart for three weeks."

Out: Trophy wife and airhead Stephanie Seymour will "keep it in the family," (wink, wink) according to Fashionweekdaily:

"At last night�s grand opening of the new Bumble & Bumble salon, Stephanie Seymour revealed to The Daily that she will be a contributing jewelry editor for Interview magazine. The 35-year-old former supermodel is married to Brant Publications, Inc. chairman Peter Brant, whose company owns the 35-year-old magazine, which is known for its candid conversations between pop icons of today and tomorrow. Seymour will be working on two upcoming jewelry spreads for the September issue. She was inspired by her feature story in Vogue�s January 2004 issue, where she played fashion editor with Vogue European editor at large Hamish Bowles as he reviewed the spring 2004 collections in New York. 'I�m so thrilled to be doing this,' Seymour gushed. 'Fashion�s great, but I�ve always loved jewelry.'"

Which might explain what she found attractive about that bloated hilbilly Axl Rose -- because of all the the shiners he gave her.


Not PC, to be sure, but fu-nee, if you go in for that sort of thing.

Out: Minnie Driver, folk singer. According to The Cincinatti Enquirer:

"Rounder Records has signed Oscar-nominated actress Minnie Driver to a recording contract.

"Her album, Everything I've Got in My Pocket, will be released on the label's rock/pop imprint, Zoe Records, in September, the Cambridge, Mass.-based company said this week.

"She will be backed by a group that includes members of the Wallflowers and Pete Yorn's band. The album is described as 'sparse, atmospheric pop and a hint of contemporary folk.'"

I'm so not going to have this CD in my pocket, I can tell you that. Good Will Singing, my ass.


Anonymous said...

alco-sexual... clutch. it's not wrong. alcohol makes it all better! loose!

-chair chair

John said...

The Moss photo: outstanding.

That ethics code is for all of Conde Nast, not just Vanity Fair. It's probably more aimed at Cargo, I'm sure--everything's just fine at VF. Just fine.

Totally share your view on getting more African-Americans on the covers. They are so shameful over there.

The Corsair said...

Thanks for the comments, guys.