Tuesday, June 08, 2004

X-Tina's Drrty Patents!

Christina Aguilera is on to lingerie, according to British Glamour's Daily Gossip:


"Move over Damaris, Agent Provocateur and FrostFrench, Christina Aguilera is moving in on the luxury lingerie market. The Stripped singer has asked the US Patent and Trademark Office to approve designs for a range of knickers, due to hit shops next year."

The Corsair immediately lunges up angrily, a look of righteous indignation on his face, then, slowly, he realizes, 'oh, knickers ... I thought the article said ...'

"But that's not all (Christina's) planning to put her name to: with what looks like world domination in her sights, Christina has also registered patents for 451 other items, including crayons, antiperspirant, skiwear, badminton sets, contact lenses and ominously 'electronic multiple activity toys', ropes and handcuffs!"

Cause she is badminton ... no matter what you say ... words can't bring her down.


Anonymous said...

A sampling of her top secret merchandising plans:
Christina Aguilera's Badminton set: We put the skank in your summer vacation.

Christina's Crayons: Red is so last year, try "Color me nasty." Also comes in "Clit piercing silver," "Tired tattoo grey," and "Heroin addict white."

The Corsair said...

Pencopal: Clit piercing silver. Sheer brilliance.