A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Republican Scandals. Nipping on the heels of Republican governor Rowland's resignation, like a Spaniel in search of a robust head rubbing, Republican Senate nominee Jack Ryan of Illinois is reeling from a mini (read: "non") scandal of his own, according to the Chicago Tribune (link via Wonkette):

"Republican U.S. Senate nominee Jack Ryan's ex-wife, TV actress Jeri Ryan, accused him of taking her to sex clubs in New York and Paris, where he tried to coerce her into having sex with him in front of strangers, according to records released Monday from the couple's California divorce file."

Jeri Ryan played Seven of Nine on the Star Trek series, so, if I were a Machiavellian Dick Morris type, I'd be trying to spin this as a positive for the geek set. Hard to feel sorry for that ass, though, as Ryan has had operatives stalking his opponent, State Senator Obama, with a digital camera, in search of some scandalous footage. Karmic repercussions are a bitch, no?

Fuck: Breaking News: TheSmokingGun has already posted their divorce papers. Shit, didn't Kierkegaard predict that the media in a democracy would turn out like this?

Out: Britney Spears. As if it isn't bad enough that she has had knee surgery, her mom ran over a stalkerazzi. Mowed his ass down. Ka-Pow! The Sun reports:

"The panic-stricken singer sat in the car screaming and crying after the accident.

"Mascara running down her cheeks, she screamed: 'Oh no, oh no. Mom, Mom,' after her mother Lynne, who was driving the hulking motor, ploughed into the photographer."

But to look at the photographs of the incident, the photographer doesn't really look that hurt. He's kind of lounging. Cold lounging, actually, with only a faint touch of scowl about the lips, he appears to be a man secure in the knowledge that he will soon be a very rich man.

In: Interracial-Interreligious love (link via Wonkette). New celebrity couple Richard Gere and Al Sharpton got lost in the oceans of each others eyes. Who needs alleged billionaire supermodel Cindy Crawford when you've got the Rev. Al, a saucy leftist Christian preacher; and Richard's a Tibetan Buddhist, though he used to be just a gigolo. But "love" conquers all. You go, guys.

Out: According to the soon to be Conde Nast imprint Kerrang! Magazine (via Ananova) -- (averted gaze), Sharon Osbourne is the most important person in rock. The Devil is the second most important in rock, "because the devil has all the best tunes" (But, The Corsair notes, "God gave Rock and roll to everyone". And Justin Hawkins of The Darkness is fourth for 'single-handedly putting the fun back into rock.' Any list including Justin Hawkins is definitely not an inclusion meriting boastfulness.

In: Celebrity pregnancy. People Magazine (link via Ananova) is reporting that Liv Tyler and Royston Langdon are preggers. The celebrity fertility trend continues apace.

And now, A Fly on the Wall Blog (link via Defamer) hints that Demi might also be knocked up:

"Demi Moore has told her agents at CAA that she thinks she's pregnant, according to a Fly spy inside the agency.

"Moore recently quit smoking, and reportedly told several friends she had done so because she was trying to have another child.

"Demi's boytoy Ashton Kutcher is said to be the father. No word yet if they'll marry to save the child from bastardy."

Out: The Madonna ticket strategy, according to perennial Corsair favorite Michael Musto, "... And here's why the MADONNA, I mean Madge, I mean Esther, concerts supposedly had so many empty seats till the last minute: Flacks hyped it as 'sold out' from day one! You figured, 'Why bother even calling for tickets?' (That's one theory.)" It sounds just about right to me.

In: That significant cultural artifact, Star Magazine, interviews J.O. Batton, "Unlike last season, when (Paris and Nicole) bunked on the Leding family porch, the girls shared a spare bedroom in the cozy home that Batton shares with his 26-year-old son Travis and daughter-in-law Aimee. Everyone shared one bathroom. Cowboy Batten, 57, clearly enjoyed his time with the girls, who even talked him into trying on his chaps with nothing on underneath: 'I'm in pretty good shape,' he says. 'We were discussing my tight buns. They liked 'em.' Here's how J.O. rates his houseguests, from 1 (dreadful) to 10 (dynamite):

"7 STRENGTH

"It didn't look like they could lift a 50-pound feed bag."

The Corsair softly chuckles

"3 PAIN TOLERANCE

"Paris' is very, very low. Nicole didn't do anything to get hurt."

"8 INTELLIGENCE

"Neither one of them is dumb. Both are relatively intelligent girls."

Yes, and relatively speaking, J.O.'s observations on the life of the mind are, well -- not quite Seth Benardete material. Check out the J.O.'s other ratings, relatively speaking, of course.

In: Defamer Sightings:

"... Lunching at Orso in walks Larry King meeting his much younger and very blonde wife and a random young guy couldn't tell if he was wearing any diapers under his Paper Denim and Cloth jeans which look so out of place on a man in his 70s but hey I guess he can do whatever he wants. He also looked very very thin.

"... Next to his table was Morgan Fairchild dining with a female friend. Morgan was fully done up with her white blonde hair and pale face makeup she was there for a while she made eye contact with me several times like she was bored with her lunch date and was seeing what everyone else was doing.

"... was grocery shopping at pavilions in west hollywood and in front of me in line was e!'s gossip columnist Ted Casablanca. it looked as though ted-babe had just come from the gym. he was wearing a loose scoop necked tank top baggy shorts. he had grey chest hair and under developed calves. he was buying among other things, tins of cat food, a bag of kitty litter and sensodyne toothpaste which I assume is for him, not his cat."

Too funny, but, to be honest, Hollywood doesn't seem as glamorous after reading the defamer sightings. Then again, that's the purpose.

Out: Al Quaeda, obsessed with degrading the miracle of human life into meat, beheaded the South Korean captive today, reports the AP:

"An Iraqi militant group has beheaded its South Korean hostage, Al-Jazeera television reported Tuesday.

"The pan-Arab station said it had received a videotape showing that Kim Sun-il had been executed.

"Kim, 33, worked for a South Korean company supplying the U.S. military in Iraq and was abducted last week, according to the South Korean government.

"Al-Jazeera, which had not broadcast the tape, said the execution was carried out by the al-Qaida-linked group Monotheism and Jihad."

This will be a nightmare for US-South Korean relations which, recently, have been strained over US military and diplomatic heavy handedness to the neighboring North Korean regime. As the Christian Science Monitor notes:

"... Such ambivalence reflects widespread uncertainty here at a time when the (South Korean) government is pursuing reconciliation with North Korea against pressure from conservatives who see little if any sign of concessions or progress in negotiations. The result is that South Koreans, from student demonstrators to government advisers, send mixed signals that reflect deep disagreement on how to deal with the US alliance as well as North Korea.

"'It is a very complex issue,' says Kim Tae Woo. 'The official statements are very simple. They are saying this is due to a global plan and there should be no security vacuum on the Korean peninsula.'

"Mr. Kim concedes the validity of that argument but also believes the US decision to scale back here is 'in response to the anti-American movement'"

That movement will draw steam from the beheading. Although the United States offered South Korea an $11 billion bribe to "strengthen defenses" against North Korea, the US has downsized troop strength in the DMZ to fortify Iraq and Afghanistan in the War on terror. Watch to see how South Korean internal opinion reacts to this tragic news carefully, dear readers.

In: Marc Jacobs, according to Fashionweekdaily:

"Marc Jacobs, firmly in the creative driving seat at Louis Vuitton, will be launching a new jewelry line this fall, inspired by the charm bracelets he created for the last several Vuitton ready-to-wear runway shows.

"Yves Carcelle, President of Louis Vuitton, confirmed the news today in Milan.

"'We will put a complete line of jewelry on the market by September,' announced Carcelle, who was in town to celebrate the opening of Louis Vuittons shiny new boutique in the citys historic Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II."

And be sure to check out one of my other gigs.