Friday, June 04, 2004

The Corsair vs. AJ Benza

Apparently, The Corsair has a little more juice than he thought he did. Multitudinous is my capacity for making mischief, dear readers (The Corsair rubs his hands together like the cat who licked the cream). The other day I blogged on AJ Benza and the Howard Stern Razor article, blaming him with incendiary language.

Imagine my surprise today when, sifting through the birthday wishes and usual hate e-mail, I recieved a missive from AJ Benza himself!

In the subject line it read, "Note to Ron OogaBooga from AJ Benza"

People get fixated on the name, what can I say? Every hate email The Corsair gets has a Kindergarteny vibe. You get used to it.

It continues (averted gaze, exaggerated cough, feigned detatchment):

"Mr. Corsair...."

Oh, it's on like Gray Poupon.

"Do yourself a favor and report facts. If you were an actual reporter, you'd know that the founder and editor of Razor, Craig Knight, quit over what his publisher Richard Botto did with my Howard Stern piece. Even Howard respects what I wrote and has told his millions of listeners that this is obviously the publisher of Razor trying to drum up sales."

The Corsair throws some punches at the air.

"I clearly state in my piece that my speaking to Stern came about during a personal phone call regarding John Melendez jumping to Jay Leno. Howard and I spoke yesterday morning and I was vindicated. So why dont you report on that? If you don't, you clearly have an ax to grind. And if you do....what can I do?
Second....if you think a $600,000 a year job hosting a reality show this fall is a 'dead career,' then you're dumb as a stump. And if you add in my $200,000 Talk/Miramax book deal on top of that.....that's some decent scratch, no? Does Paper pay you $800,000?"

Yes, that is some, er, "decent scratch," and, no, I do not make $800,000 a year; but I am a thousandaire. I have no axe to grind, AJ, aside from being mildly miffed at the swipe at my name. You are right, you have been vindicated by Howard Stern. But that vindication came after I wrote my piece. So, here I am writing about it now, tough guy.

"I like your writing. I read your stuff. What you don't understand or ever do is actually report on stuff. It's a kick just to be able to scream out your opinion on shit...but it's another to make sure what you say is accurate. And what you wrote about me is incorrect."

It's a "kick"? Who is this really: Frank Sinatra? Conversing with AJ Benza is like going into a 1950s time warp where dames are dames and men were men. Mista we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again.

But, you're right AJ, I was inaccurate. I am not a reporter. Never said I was. I am a blogger, a commentator, and a humorist who, at the moment, is having a fucking good time with you.

"If you hate me...that's your right and I'm cool with that, my man. But just get some facts straight in the process.

AJ Benza

"PS: Keep stirring up shit. The world needs it."

I don't hate you, AJ, in fact, after this little frisson, I think I understand you a little bit better, man to man. So, apologies on the story and the "dead career" thing. Next time you're around Williamsburg way, I owe you some scotch.


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