A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Mick Rock of Papermag.com's extended meditation on Debbie Harry, the woman we all wanted to fuck back in the day, is brilliant:

"Ignoring him I asked the lot of them, 'If you had a chance to bed down with Debbie Harry tonight would you? Not really knowing what she looks like these days, just going off the memory that's burned into your head, would you sleep with her?' You'd think we were a car full of choirboys and not skateboarders the way we sung the word, 'Yes,' in unison. Then we saw her. The curtain opened, the house lights found her and had the band not already begun playing then the entire audience would have heard the sounds of our hearts breaking. She was old. She was no longer the girl we'd fallen in love with. Her skin hung lose on her face and arms like a perfectly cooked spare rib, her mini skirt was far too short for anyone her age and the worst of it? She had panty lines! Panty lines are sexy only with sweatpants or business casual. But these weren't cute, ass-defining panty lines. She was wearing big granny panties. I wanted to cry for her. Is there anything grosser than grandma panties? I wanted to rush the stage, rip them off her, use them as a sail and sail off to some faraway land where I would never have to think of the horror I saw that night. But it was too late, the damage had been done."

Out: Gary Oldman. According to Hello! Magazine, he is planning on starring in the next Star Wars film, that is, of course, if anyone actually still cares about that franchise after what George Lucas has done with it:

"British actor Gary Oldman is set to carry on from his success as Harry Potter bad guy Sirius Black by taking on his most villainous role to date. The London-born star will be appearing in the new Star Wars film in the spine-chilling part of General Grievous.

"The fearsome character is described as the deadliest evildoer the series has ever seen. And Gary's fellow-Brit Ewan McGregor, who plays Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi, will have his work cut out when he comes face-to-face with the wicked warrior.

"'He's part alien and part robot,' revealed producer Rick McCallum. 'Grievous is a master strategist and the greatest hand-to-hand Jedi killer the galaxy has ever known.'"

No, George Lucas is the hands down greatest Jedi Killer thr galaxy has ever known.

In: Speaking about things sci-fi and "fantasy":Does Mary Jane hate Spidey? Say it aint so! According to the LA.com blog:

"It's amazing that everyone missed one of the juiciest nuggets behind the scenes of Spider-Man 2--that Kirsten Dunst and Tobey Maguire barely spoke to each other when off camera. Studio insiders told me that the bad blood between them began during the filming of the first Spider-Man, because Maguire didn't treat Dunst very nicely. Then, when Maguire was having his oft-reported back and salary problems, Dunst lobbied hard to have him recast with her real-life main squeeze, Jake Gyllenhaal. Maybe what's needed for Spider-Man 3 is a therapist for on-camera couples."

Out: Can you believe that an actress of the calibre of Kate Winslet would drop out of a Woody Allen production? Woody is the arty god of Hollywood, too smart to be mainstream, and too creepy to be Indie. Not only did Winslet commit the grave social felony of dropping out of a Woody Allen film, but a BBC funded Woody Allen flic at that, his first British movie. According to the Big News Network:

"British actress Kate Winslet has pulled out of Woody Allen's new film because it would leave her too little time for her young family.

"Winslett, married to director Sam Mendes, was due to co-star with Brian Cox, Emily Mortimer and Jonathan Rhys Meyers in the unnamed film, which will be the first Allen film to be shot entirely in Britain.

"However, after realizing publicity duties for the Johnny Depp-starring film Neverland plus Mendes' own work on Gulf War drama Jarheads would have kept her and her family apart all summer, Winslet withdrew from the film."

An actress pulling out of a prestige flic for family? What the f-c#!

In: Bill Clinton. That significant cultural artifact reports that Bill is tomcatting again. As if this is a surprie to anyone. Can't we all just all accept that he has a non-traditional arrangement with his wife and move on? Of course, if Bill Clinton has any more encounters with heads of state or Hollywood starlets, I'll be the first one to report it. I just won't moralize or playa hate.

Out: Zell Miller, According to the AP:

"Georgia Sen. Zell Miller, the highest profile Democrat to endorse President Bush for re-election, will speak at the Republican National Convention later this summer, a congressional aide said Friday.

"According to the aide, who spoke on condition of anonymity, Miller will give his address on Wednesday night of the convention in New York. The Bush-Cheney campaign was expected to make an official announcement later in the day. The convention will be held Aug. 30-Sept. 2."

This just may be a minor plus for possible Veepstakes hopeful Max Cleland, also from Georgia.

In: King Alfred the Great. I've been reading Asser's Life of King Alfred, don't ask me why -- I get eclectic in the summer's -- and he was a fascinating character. A proto anti-Machiavelli who operated in the sphere of political action but was personally governed by a deep religious idealism, he united Britain (The Angles and the Saxons), and drove off the barbarian Viking hordes who terrorized Europe. All British Kings, I believe, derive their authority from Alfred. Just reading this fascinating account by Alfred's tutor, Asser, gives me a richer understanding of Shakespeare and Byrd, the pomp and circumstance they have regarding the lineage of Kings (it is not that studied and fussed about in Uganda), by their genesis in King Alfred's struggle. I must be getting old, though, because I've been reading histories all month, which is something I told myself I'd never do. First Thucydides now this. And yes, people, when I am not trolling the gossip sites, drinking Cutty Sark at the local pub, ogling the ladies, or working at my various projects and schemes, I actually read The Great Books. Slowly, too, taking a dozen pages in at a time and wrestling with their meaning. Imagine that.

Out: Slavery is over, but apparently it's okay to sell a lecherous Frenchman online (link via TMLTMF). Oh yeah, and does anyone know how to get DVD's of the original Degrassi Junior High TV Show, that and the PBS hit series High Feather?