Wednesday, February 28, 2007

The Return of Benjamin Netanyahu

(image via midwinter)

Israeli politics is so dizzyingly volatile that an election can turn in the space of a single event. It is enough to give an astute Middle East election watcher a case of cognitive vertigo. Add terrorist bombs to the event, and you get an idea, however slight, of the role Hazard plays in that dangerous part of the world. Americans thought the Reversal of Fortune of George Bush 41, from 90-plus percent approval rating post First Persian Gulf War to electoral defeat in a 3-way dance was astonishing; that's nothing in Israeli politics. And a politician all but dead can be resurrected. Such, we belive, is the case with the impossibly ambitious Thumoeideutically charged Benjamin Netanyahu, last seen in crushing defeat at the hands of Ariel Sharon, now, presently, on the rise, comparing the rise of Persia to the Rise of Hitler's Nazi Party, circa 1938. From the Financial Times:

"Mr Netanyahu has emerged as Israel’s most prominent hawk in the debate on how to deal with Iran’s perceived threat. He has claimed, in the US and Israel, that Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, the Iranian president, is planning a second Holocaust and warned: 'It’s 1938 and Iran is Germany.'

"Ehud Olmert, the Israeli prime minister and a long-term political rival, has attempted to dampen such rhetoric by stating that Israel is committed to an international diplomatic solution to the Iranian crisis.

"Condoleezza Rice, the US secretary of state, indirectly rebuked Mr Netanyahu when she this month said of his 1938 reference: 'I am fond of historical analogies, but not that fond.'"

Neither are we, quite frankly. Netanyahu's Thumoeidetic ambitions are well-known and particularly cloying as they smack of blatant opportunism. Ahmedinejad's ratcheting up of the rhetoric now, even as the Democrats in Congress are trying to apply brakes to Iran War Talk (For further reference, see: Joshua Muravchic), are immensely distressing, especially considering it all in the light of Seymour Hirsch's meticulously researched New Yorker Essay. Is this all, however, "tough talk" in order to force a diplomatic resolution from Persia (The Corsair pours himself a St. Emillion Chateau Monbousquet 1998)?

This weekend Ahmedinejad, clearly relishing his role as King of all Shi'ites, likened Iran to a train that has thrown away the brakes and is in a state of constant forward motion. That is dispiriting talk to say the least, one that almost conjures, perhaps, in the sensitive mind the dynamism of the swastica. And now, Netanyahu, who is, quite frankly, far too hard right-wing and disgustingly opportunistic for my tastes (for further reference: see the opportunistic politicization of what historians of the future will call Sharon's Noble Gaza Withdrawal). But Ohlmert is damaged beyond salvation, and that is not including the growing corruption charges that threatens to erode the platform very he stands on beyond repair. Let's face it: The Kadima Party was Ariel Sharon, a cult of personality; and the Israel-Hezbollah War "tie" -- the state of Israel's first military stalemmate (hostilities ceased by order of the United Nations Security Council 1701), and, no doubt, existentially distressing -- all but finished Ohlmert politically. It just hasn't registered with him yet.

Where are the voices of Moderation? What of a return of Ehud Barak, which we have been hearing about for some time. He would be a perfect ideological counterbalance to Netanyahu.

Barak, while very ambitious, has the military credentials to challenge Netanyahufrom the Center. We need Centrist thinking in Tel Aviv right now, not the further ratcheting of tensions from the reactionary Right. Prince Bandar and the Sunni Kingdoms are already on board from the looks of the flawed-but-possibly-useful Mecca Accords. Ohlmert is useless as he has little if any domestic support. But Ehud Barak (if he were elected), by virtue of his military record, might be able make a solid deal with the Sunni Kingdoms and domestically convince the long suffering israeli people. Possibly. But what to do about Netanyahu? Also, from Phil Zabriskie of the Time Magazine blog:

"What to do about Iran? A huge issue in Israel, it was taken up this morning by former Prime Minister and current Knesset Member Benjamin Netanyahu at a briefing he gave for diplomats and journalists. Netanyahu is known as a hardliner. He leads the opposition against Ehud Olmert and his own ambitions of being Prime Minister again one day are plain to see. He has friends in high places in Washington. All of that, and the number of ambassadors who answered his call this morning indicate that his thoughts on the matter are not irrelevant.

"With great conviction, Netanyahu asserted that Iran was the greatest threat to security in the world today, akin to Hitler in 1938 but more dangerous because of its desire to attain and, he said, use nuclear weapons. He implied the views and statements of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad were representative of the entire Iranian political establishment, which is questionable given the indications of discontent with him at street level and the amongst the ruling Ayatollahs. He said the Iran issue had to be addressed before an Israeli-Palestinian agreement could be reached, because a nuclear-armed Iran could undermine any deal made, which sounds somewhat like an excuse for not trying. He elided the threat of a nuclear-armed Iran with the threat of a nuclear-armed al Qaeda, using them interchangeably to make his points, speaking as if they were in the same camps."
Bruce Willis, Robert Evans, Ben Affleck Named in Madame's "Trick" Registry

(image via yimg)

That Robert "The Kid Stays in the Picture" Evans visits hookers is not so surprising. There have been rumors that he likes to purchase a -- how does one say this? -- "Golden Shower," or two, *allegedly*, of course (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Hey: It relieves stress and he was under the gun at Paramount; lay off, will you. But Bruce Willis? Whatthefuck. Sure, he's had a few porn stars in his time, but who hasn't in Hollywood. Let he who has no sins cast the first Sheen. From ThisisLondon:

"A madam who ran an international prostitute ring is publishing an autobiography naming and shaming top Hollywood stars she claims were her clients.

"Jody 'Babydol' Gibson, who served 22 months in prison for pimping, says Bruce Willis, the late Hollywood producer Don Simpson, and the Sultan of Brunei, were just some of the rich and famous men in her 'trick book'."

We can safely bet that Bruce Willis is busy conjuring all sorts of magic to make that "Trick Book" disappear. More:

"The names were suppressed in documents at her trial in 2000 but they have now been released, prompting a flurry of denials from the men listed in the records of Gibson's California Dreamin' business.

"A lawyer for Willis told the Los Angeles Times that the actor had never spoken to Gibson and the story was a 'complete fabrication'. However, former Sex Pistol Steve Jones, also on her books, told the paper he might have used the escort service. 'It's possible,' he said. 'I crossed paths with her back then.'

"Gibson's prostitution ring boasted a roster of 300 women, charging between $500 and $3,000. The autobiography is due to be published this week.

"The black book includes headings such as Robert Evans 'Godfather' of Kink, referring to the producer of Chinatown and other films, and Roland Joffè's 'Scarlett Letter,' a misspelt reference to film director Roland Joffè."

Robert Evans as the Godfather of Kink. Gee, sounds legit to us. More (ThisisLondon)

Extra: E! is reporting on some more high and not-so-high profile names named in the book, including Ben Affleck. From E Entertainment:

"In her new autobiography, Secrets of a Hollywood Super Madam, due in stores on Thursday, Jody 'Babydoll' Gibson alleges that both Affleck and Willis were patrons of her call-girl service before she was arrested eight years ago.

"On a promotional Website for the book, Gibson claims to reveal the details of Affleck's 'steamy night with a hot blonde' as well as a 'wild time' involving Willis.

"'This book is about my life servicing the rich and famous…and their sex, sex, sex!' Gibson writes in the introduction to her memoir, available on

"Other household names Gibson alleges were on her list of clients include Jim Belushi, Gary Busey, former Dodgers manager Tom Lasorda, the late movie producer Don Simpson and Sex Pistols guitarist Steve Jones."

Wow. That's some bad company for Ben Affleck to be keeping, if, of course, this is true. More here.

For new, fresh posts daily click here. (The Corsair)
P Diddy is Classy

He has class.

P Diddy exudes class, and that's "class" pronounced "kless (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)." He's Old School like that. We imagine P Diddy at home, under an ancient, dark amber-colored African mask, Dietrich Buxtehude's sacred music wafting into the room as he meditates Theravada Buddhist style. Or somesuch (Dismissive wave).

Seriously, when Diddy's not stopping his 12-year old from getting a "friction dance" from a sundry pro- 'ho, he's out spreading his own brand of "swelegance". Or trying to make Sienna Miller his very own "personal." This, from Liz Smith:

"P. Diddy busied himself drinking right out of a Champagne bottle, urging Forest to 'Lighten up . . . I want you to act up. You ain't acting like you won an Oscar.' With this, Diddy pushed his Veuve Clicquot bottle at the winner, saying, 'I'm shielding everybody from getting your picture. Go ahead, drink!'"

Right out of the champagne bottle. Nice. But we can thank God for small miracles, all told. At least he's drinking from the bottle these days. He used to bust them over rival's heads. Soon, if all progresses according to plan, he will actually use a glass and sip like the rest of us. Let's be patient.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Does Anyone Care about Jim Carrey Anymore?

The hair is Auuuugggghhh!. (image via msnbcmedia)

Oh, Lord how we would like to answer Yes to that question. We never quite got Jim Carrey anyway. Certainly we could see how he might be a Lowest-Common-Denominator distraction within our democracy, what with his rubbery face and pretentions towards Bill Murray's edge (Averted Gaze). But we started to worry when Carrey was regularly making over a hundred million dollars in domestic box office. Those were white knuckle times.

And then there was "The Majestic," where Carrey drank his own Kool Aid and choked. "The Majestic" was naught else but self-indulgent shit. Carry thought, incorrectly, that he has the depth to be a leading man (Not unlike how all United States Senators all believe they can be President). The box office failure revealed Jim Carrey's flaws and we could never quite look at him the same way again. Carrey going back to comedy after "The Majestic" was like Rob Lowe going back to his Georgetown fraternity after he graduated and failed at playing sax. And dating noted Box-Office Jinx Jenny McCarthy is not helping his image (For further reference see; BaseKetball) . I'm just saying... . Joshua Rich of Popwatch asks the question: "Has jim Carrey Jumped the Shark"?:

"Jim Carrey. Love the guy. Totally killed in The Cable Guy. Totally melted our hearts in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. But, it seems, not everybody is such a fan these days. Check out the sluggish opening-weekend gross for his latest movie, The Number 23: just $14.6 million, his fourth-worst premiere since he achieved superstardom back in 1994. Indeed, the erstwhile Ace Ventura's box office returns have been declining during the past several years. Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas earned $260 million in 2000 and Bruce Almighty brought in $242.8 million in 2003, but his other big Hollywood projects this decade — Me, Myself & Irene, The Majestic, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, and Fun With Dick and Jane — haven't come close.

"Which leads to the troubling question: Is Jim Carrey's popularity on the wane? And, if so, why? Does stardom, especially comedy cred, have a definite lifespan? (Quick aside: This thought occurred to me as I stood in line, right next to none other than Chevy Chase, waiting to have my audience with Al Gore at EW's Oscar party in L.A. last week. I mean, one of the biggest stars of the 1980s in the same pathetic position as little old me!) Have folks grown tired of Carrey's shtick, even when he's being serious?"

More here.
Brian Williams Rattled, or, "Do Abdroids Dream of Electric Sheep"?

(image via flickr)

Is NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams an android, as Mischeivous Maureen Dowd suggests in her bestseller "Are Men Necessary?" He answered that, No, there is no Midwestern facility that manufactures Brian Williamses (And thank all-knowing Buddha for that). If Brian Williams were of electronic stock, he would have been kinder to Bloggers, whom he once described as being "someone in a bathroom with a modem (We have long memories, Brian)." That was, of course, before he joined us (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment).

But even a "Mandroid" of such sophisticated design (The perfect Senatorial hair, the modulated "Voice of God," the corn and milk-fed good looks) has flaws, namely: Brian's temper, on exhibit, more often, now that NBC's Nightly News is, well, slipping .. faster than a glass of "Beefeater" gin down Brandon Davis' oily, bloated throat (Eew; Watch out or he'll squirt on you). According to RadarOnline's Fresh Intelligence:

"It looks like NBC is so rattled by Charles Gibson's second week on top in the evening news race that heads are starting to roll: Radar hears that Nightly News With Brian Williams executive producer John Reiss, who got a very public dressing down from the affable anchor in the NBC newsroom earlier this month, has been shown the door.

"Sources say an official announcement will be delayed for several weeks to avoid the appearance of NBC panicking at losing ground in the ratings race. Reiss and an NBC News spokeswoman did not return repeated calls for comment."

They need to set brian's Mandroid switch to "Chill the Fuck out, yo." More here.
Paris Hilton Cries: "It's Not My Fault!"

Oh Paris, please. Everything bad in America in the last 5 years is your fault. Own up to your Herpes-infused and racist lifestory. This gossip is one day old but still quite delicious. It comes from Rush and Molloy, on Paris Hilton's 26th Birthday. We thought she had already had a party and no one except Nicole Ritchie attended. We guess she decided to have another. Bad pimp move. Says Rush and Molloy:

"(I)f you were looking for celebrity mayhem, Paris Hilton's birthday bash Saturday night was the place to find it.

"The hotel heiress was reduced to tears after oily heir Brandon Davis' lewd behavior drove Courtney Love, Paula Abdul and others from the dinner celebrating Paris' 26th year, according to witnesses.

"Hilton's parents, Rick and Kathy, spared no expense in arranging a party at Prime Grill, the Rodeo Drive restaurant where Madonna is an investor.

"'They must have spent $10,000 on the flowers alone,' said one source.

"At first, perfection reigned: Paris couldn't have looked happier with on-again boyfriend Stavros Niarchos. And she shared big hugs with former foe Nicole Richie, who came with rocker boyfriend Joel Madden.

But around 10 p.m., Davis started acting up. 'He was hurling flowers at Paula Abdul,' says a guest. 'Then he began bombing her with Styrofoam flower-holders. He was shouting, 'Lick my [BLEEP], Paula!' He started mocking her ancestry by speaking gibberish in an Arabic accent.

"Stavros and Paris tried to stop him. Paris said, 'Shut up, you're wasted!' But it was too late. Abdul, who was due to sing 'Happy Birthday,' made an early exit.

"Davis then turned his dim beams on Love. "He lifted her up so that she was straddling his waist," says a witness. 'Her Chanel dress was riding up. Brandon was saying, 'I want to squirt on you.' He was humping Courtney in front of her daughter, Frances Bean. When he put her down, Courtney grabbed Frances and they marched out of the restaurant through the kitchen.'

"It didn't stop there. 'He was knocking over glasses and candles on the table,' says a source. 'Paris was crying to her mother, 'This is not my fault!'"

That's like saying it isn't PT Barnum's fault for the circus. The coup de grace:

"After Davis was encouraged to leave, Paris blew out the candles on her cake and everyone headed to an after-party at her house.

"'Incredibly, Brandon showed up at Paris' place,' says a source. 'Security guided him downstairs. They were under orders to keep him away from Paris.'"

In mild defense of the oily haired oil heir, Brandon didn't get the Instant Message that all-of-a-sudden Paris hilton is now feigning maturity. At 26. Who knew. In another era, Brandon's oily humping of Courtney Love and hurling racist invective at the perennially woozy Paula Abdul would have been met with an airy disembodied Paris laugh, the same laugh we heard echoing in our heads days after Brandon's "firecroch" tirade. Brandon probably felt that he had to one-up himself to keep Paris' attention away from the undeniable fact that he is hopelessly covered in loserdust. How was the bloated chump like Brandon Davis (Eew) to know that Paris, at 26, had outgrown racism and artless humping in full view of the public.
Oscar Awards Wrap; Oprah: "Obama Didn't Start It"

Troublemaker! (image via nysocialdiary)

How convenient is it that Maureen Dowd's most Hollywood sycophantic op-ed came on the cusp of the Academy Awards. We won't entertain the possibility that she shrewdly timed the ensuing kefluffle so as to be the center of conversation. We simply won't. We'll report you decide. From our favorite superhero gossip duo Rush and Molloy:

"Rose McGowan was overheard dissing Marilyn Manson's ex Dita von Teese in the ladies' room; news dudes Anderson Cooper and John Gregory hung with Tom Ford and his partner, Richard Buckley; Maureen Dowd matched wits with Sacha Baron Cohen and his girlfriend, Isla Fisher; and Oprah Winfrey's court included Forest and Keisha Whitaker, Mary J. Blige and Kendu Isaacs, Donna Karan, Gayle King and Quincy Jones. (Oprah told us her favorite candidate, Barack Obama, shouldn't be blamed for fellow VF reveler David Geffen's anti-Hilllary rant to Ms. Dowd: 'Barack didn't start it.')"

That Eddie Murphy, whose pre-adolescent obsession with insulting the overweight acted like an ass shouldn't surprise anyone -- he's been doing that for decades. From those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"Eddie Murphy acted like a sore loser when he didn't get the Best Supporting Actor prize for 'Dreamgirls,' our spies said. Murphy left his seat at the Kodak Theatre and ditched the gala. He also didn't bother showing at any of the Oscar parties. 'He was furious and just went home,' a source said.

"His co-star, Jennifer Hudson, did win big - but lost big, too, because of the much ridiculed metallic bolero Andre Leon Talley made her put on. (Post fashion editor Serena French said it made her look 'lost in space.') 'Jennifer was kind of sponsored by Talley and Vogue,' said one fashionista. 'Andre insisted she wear that hideous Oscar de la Renta dress with the awful, awful gold python bolero.

"'Jennifer really didn't want to, and so [noted stylist] Jessica Paster got her a beautiful gold Roberto Cavalli custom-made. But when Andre found out, he went ballistic. Moments before she left for the show, there was a power struggle and Jennifer ended up putting his outfit on.'"

Hmm. We rather like Andre, but we cannot fail to not the TomFordish stench of "Jinx" emanating from the usually dead-on The Vogue editor. First there was the "... Because Mariah needed guidance" episode, in which Talley "guided" Mariah from cultural relevance into the ghetto of relative obsolescence (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Cool points, though, for getting Mariah to eschew the "poom-poom shorts." That was a-okay in our book.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Jim Cramer outs himself as a Democrat

(image via 923freefm)

Jim Cramer's political ideology was, until Sunday a closely guarded secret. we have, oddly, been fascinated with what Jim Cramer actually was -- Demopublican or Republicrat -- for some time now. He used to appear on Kudlow and Cramer with Larry "Blowcaine" Kudlow. Kudlow, who believes that the answer to all of Life's Great Questions begins and ends with a Capital Gains Tax, constantly threw out Republican red meat. The Capital gains tax cut is Kudlow's new booger sugar. Cramer, defltly, always avoided giving a direct answer. And, a propos of nothing, Kudlow works that evaporating combover with the studied intensity of a goddam Yogin (You do your thing, Kudlow, you ... do your thing).

But Jim Cramer also, lovingly, reminded us of his alliance with New York Governor Elliot Spitzer (They were classmates at Law school). On The Chris Matthews Show, however, the mystery finally came to an end with Cramer saying "we" when discussing the Democrats. Matthews quickly pounced, saying, "Did you just say 'we'?"

Cramer responded, "well I guess I just outed myself." Whenever someone says, "Who gives a fuck about Cramer," we reply, meekly, "he counts." We particularly like this tidbit from James Cramer's autobiographical Confessions of a Street Addict:

"(Cramer's former boss at American Lawyer, the hyperagrro Steven Brill) never did know when to quit, though, and could not bear to lose at anything. At the firm's summer outing at Brill's Westchester mansion, he divided us into teams, placing us in his pool, and insisted we play a vicious game of water polo where dunking was encouraged and expected. He relished the contact, being a head taller than just about anyone else on the opposing squad, including me. Just as I was about to score what would have been the tying goal for my team, Brill sank his teeth into my throwing arm, spouting blood into the clear water in a steady stream. As everyone looked on in horror, I could only laugh. That was Steve all over."
Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore Smoke a "DrewBie"

Charlie's Angels puffing "clouds." Charmed, I'm sure.(image via newsoftheworld)

Clearly the whole Justin Trousersnake thing rattled Cameron Diaz's usually precise predatory Hollywood game. How could a little, fuzzyheaded pop singer throw an old A-List pro like Cammie D? On the red carpet at the Oscars, she looked a little cracked. Talking too much, smiling inappropriately, the raptors gaze not as steely, Diaz was, quite frankly, off her game. How does one wash that Trousersnake-out-of-one's-hair and send it on its way? Well, one way is by smoking a big, fat "Drewbie" with a close Hollywood pal. From the thoroughly downmarket and wildly entertaining Newsoftheworld:

"The close pals and Charlie's Angels co-stars split the cost of their high jinx on the Hawaiian island of Kauai.

"Drew passed the ciggie to Cameron, 34, who checked the coast was clear before taking a long drag. A fellow bather said: 'Cameron's eyes were half shut and she leant back so far she was almost horizontal.'"

That's how you know it's the good shit ... (More Newsoftheoworld)
Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

Canandian transplant Graydon Carter aggressively defending the manliness of his nut-brown "mantan" to Coco Butter Open champion George Hamilton's (image via wireimage)

Peter O'Toole's Favorite Year? Offhand, we'd guess 1876, by the looks of it. (image via wireimage)

Madonna, wily, tries, Kaballically but ultimately in vain, to rub off some of Forest Whitaker's African Dictator Chic. (image via wireimage)

Bill Maher clearly killing time before ogling yet another African-American woman, as per usual. (image via wireimage)

In a venue other than Graydon Carter's hypercivilized Vanity Fair party -- say, a National Geographicish State of Nature -- the doe-eyed Emma Rossum would serve as wounded pheasant to Scorpionic Hollywood predatory mountain lion, Leonardo DiCaprio. (image via wireimage)

Anderson Cooper bond, James Bonding, with "Casino Royale's" Daniel Craig. (image via wireimage)
Oscar Thoughts

Some Oscar thoughts:

--The emaciated Debbie Matenopoulos' overtanned anorexic back on the E! pre-Emmy show looked not unlike cider-braised short ribs on a wire rack. ClWe were sorely tempted to launch sprigs of parsley at the tv screen, with great force.

--Eddie Murphy's obsessive fixation with making fun of overweight people has been met with a mercliess smackdown from The Academy. As well it should. Enjoy the millions for the Lowest Common Denominator fare, Eddie Murphy; you'll get little respect from your peers.

--We are big fans of Larry David. But even with the comedic genius and the $400 million Seinfeld fuck you money, we wonder if the hott and politically conscious Laurie David might still be just a wee bit too good for him.

--Quincy "Q" Jones, knee deep in the cheap seats, looks to be wearing what can only be properly construed to be a "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely hearts Band" uniform. Charmed, I'm sure.

--E! "Personality" Giuliana Dipandi really has a big, distracting pumpkin head. There must be some smart, not sever, remedy of a hairstyle to take the edge off of that goddam tomato she calls a head.

Time passes, but God, How positively fucky does Helena Christensen look? (image via wireimage)

If Graydon Carter's "Seventh Room" is a metaphysical space that allows for someone like George Hamilton to freely circulate, then we have no choice to reject the entire grounds of such a philosophical project as being thoroughly despicable. (image via wireimage)

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

A recent study discovered that when Capuchin monkeys see themselves in a mirror, they know they are looking at something interesting. They're just not exactly sure what it is. (image via wireimage)
The Corsair Oscars Drinking Game

(image via kilby)

1 shot If ...

--Eddie Murphy is chewing gum as the nominations for Best Actor are being read.

Tom Cruise overdoses on Seriousness in his attempt to rekindle his b.o. mojo as an award presenter.

2 Shots If ...

--Reference is made to Spielberg being angry at Paramount.

3 shots If ..

--Forest Whitaker says something in Kiswahili in his acceptance speech.

--Helen Mirren makes a case for older women in Hollywood.

Chug hard Liquor If ..

--Ellen makes a Geffen-Obama-Hillary joke.

--Former underwear model Mark Wahlberg beats Eddie Murphy for Best Supporting Actor. (Down a beer on top of that if Eddie Murphy makes a sour face as he loses)
Oscar Satyricon

Curmudeonly and serious Elder brother of the New York Chattering Classes Kurt Anderson's new BFF (Blog Friend Forever) Davis Carr, of the Gray Lady's Carpetbagger, notes:

"There was a nice little lunch out in Brentwood at Arianna Huffington’s house yesterday. It was sort of fancy — the Bagger spent 15 minutes trying to figure out which fork to use — but the conversation was rocking. There was a lot of talk about Clinton, Obama and Geffen, as there has been all week at every place Priuses gather.

"The Bagger was eventually able to steer the conversations around to something important — tomorrow’s Oscars — and the table, which included more than a few members of the Academy, divided neatly between 'The Departed' and 'Babel.' Which is weird. Everywhere else the Bagger has been these past few days, all of the talk has been about a 'Little Miss Sunshine' surge to the win. Academy voters want to feel good in a dark-hearted way, or so the theory goes.

"Even though tomorrow night will involve a lot of heavy lifting and a last few feckless hours on the Carpet, the Bagger is looking forward to it, if for no other reason than that he will finally be able to quit asking people what they think will win best picture."

And, of Barry Diller's Annual Satyricon, says Liz Smith (link via Intelligencer):

"THE most important get- together of this weekend is the cov eted invite to Barry Diller's Coldwater Canyon picnic on Saturday, with carpets spread over a hill and VIPs chowing down outside. There is no press coverage. This party is a miracle of insider privacy, never pushy or 'selling' anything but a good time. Last year I'll never forget Penny Marshall at the buffet table examining every dish and asking, 'Is there cream in this? Is this organic? There's no oil here, is there?'"
Are Clinton's Pardons Still A Sore Spot?

(image via huffingtonpost)

Guess who is saying that the Hillary Clinton 2008 campaign overreacted because of an acute sensitivity on the part of Bill Clinton over his Presidential pardons? Is it just The Corsair or has our favorite Dickensian villain's column been spitting hott fire lately. Robert Novak, still firing on all cylanders, says in his column:

"Democratic sources believe that the harsh response by Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton's presidential campaign to criticism by Hollywood producer David Geffen stems from an overreaction by Bill Clinton to any attack on his pardon policy as president.

"Geffen sniped at the Clintons in his interview with New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd because President Clinton had pardoned financial contributor Marc Rich instead of American Indian activist Leonard Peltier. Geffen, a longtime backer of Bill Clinton, is backing Sen. Barack Obama for president.

"The movie mogul's comments marked the first time Bill Clinton had been subjected to an attack from his party since the 1992 campaign. The former president was reported as infuriated, raising the question of whether he will rise to the bait in any further intraparty criticism of his wife."

Ah, yes: The Unpardonable Pardon. The funny thing is that many members of The Chattering Classes expected Bill Clinton to become a member of the Dreamworks team post-Presidency, as a Board member, or even something more upfront. Wouldn't that have been the ultimate triumph of the Little Rock band-geek made good (From triumphant leader of the Last Standing Superpower to Ultimate Hollywood Insider (On second thought ...).

The unpardonable pardon and its aftermath, namely, the midtown office excess (Clinton ultimately moved to Harlem, with an assist from FOB and the current Ways and Means Chairman, Charlie Rangel), quite possibly feuled Bill Clinton's post-Presidential role as America's Ambassador to the World, at Large. A cynical mind might veer towards the intriuguing possibility that The former President is just running for Secretary General of the United Nations (Which, incidentally, Michael Bloomberg once said was one of the 4 coolest jobs in the world-- the rest being Mayor of New York, Pope and President). Still, Clinton's roving Ambassador gambit has been useful to the tougher, grittier Rumsfeldian America version, where Hard Power is All and Soft Power is for pussies (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment).

But lest we forget -- and oh how the Right would want us to focus on Marc Rich -- the Geffen mess is all about a Pardon for Leonard Peltier (Or so David Geffen would have us believe). There was no way Bill Clinton was going to pardon Leonard Peltier. God bless Geffen for being so ideolocially pure yet politically naive (Page Six says otherwise, however ...). Clinton, we cannot fail to note, is one of the thousand Democratic candidates that ran their primary election campaign dangling a possible pardon for Peltier in the most politically useful cities. "Free Peltier" is lefty codeword for, "Yes, I, too, read The Nation Magazine," Or, "I, too, have paid my ACLU dues, brother" It is gold in the Primaries. But -- and here I talk out of school -- the political reality is that the FBI position is intractable on the subject. Sad, but true. Whether or not Peltier did what he did -- I haven't researched it; he allegedly killed FBI agents -- the FBI stands resolutely against any pardon. Any American President pardoning or showing any lenience towards Peltier declares themselves public enemy number one of Quantico (and Beyond). Ironically, Louis Freeh -- former FBI director -- has made it his post-political life mission to criticize Clinton at every turn. Dark irony indeed.

Friday, February 23, 2007

It's NYComic Con, Fellas: NYComic Con!!

(image via graymalkin)

By the rings of Narner! While the geeks, grinds, freaks, conches and -- last but not least -- gearheads have all moved on from Comi Con (so 2003; Real "squids" go to WonderCon), Hollywood Players who have yet to get the text-message with the Wolverene-vs-Omega-Red emoticon (Averted Gaze), still show up trying to get a feel (Eew) of what truly is on theMind of Mensa at the Javitz Convention Center.

We could tell you what matters to geeks and grinds in a heartbeat. Jolt Cola, Natalie Portman's breast size, G4 Television, The Space 1999 into, Is Baltar a Cylon?, Phone Phreaking, Do androids dream of Electric Sheep? The slow, sordid seduction of Anakin Skywalker to The Dark Side, NASA privatization,If only all women were like Dagny Taggert. That sort of thing. From Popwatch:

"It's been the calm before the storm(troopers) at high noon here at New York Comic Con. But right about now, exhibitors are bracing themselves for a frequently malodorous cloud of human haze — a.k.a. the "general population," God bless 'em — about to enter this veritable Thunderdome. If you recall, the Con's New York City debut last February was besmirched by a grossly underestimated nerd surge. City officials wearing Fire Marshall doodads were called in. Panelists got shut out from entering the premises. Message boards roared in protest. A big fiasco? Totally. But with one mammoth upside: a pivotal growth spurt."

Um, we hate to break it to you Entertainment Weekly, but, regrettably, that "spurt" wasn't "growth". It was somethinf far more insidious. And if whomever -- whomever! --- did it doesn't immediately clean it off the "Women of Frank Frazetta" display shnell! this will be the last ComiCon at the Javitz Center. Do we make ourselves clear?
Worse Than Cavorting with Cameron Diaz: Djimon Hounsou, Oscar Nominated Actor, to Become Underwear Model

(image via markallencam)

Because Calvin Klein's first choice, Latrell Sprewell, wasn't avaliable.

(image via

The Corsair almost feels like we should stage a Britnyish career "intervention" to save Djimon Hounsou from some alarming personal decisions he's made of late. Like "blasting" Cameron Diaz; a regrettable maneuver on so many levels.

Evidently taking the Mark Wahlberg career route in reverse (?!), Oscar nominated actor Djimon Hounsou is doing ... underwear advertisements (Averted Gaze). And who, precisely, is managing Djimon? Earth to Hounsou: Once you get to what Graydon Carter calls "The First Room (tm)," you don't need to do the Underwear ads. From Fashionweekdaily:

"Following a stellar campaign that starred international soccer star Freddie Ljungberg, Calvin Klein Inc. today announced that it will feature Oscar-nominated actor Djimon Hounsou in its Fall 2007 Calvin Klein Underwear advertising campaign. The African-born, award-winning actor, whose muscular physique stood out in such films as Amistad, Gladiator, and most recently, Blood Diamond, will be featured in a global print and outdoor campaign supporting the launch of the brand’s latest product line, Calvin Klein Steel."

Okay, what's up with this line, "The African-born, award-winning actor, whose muscular physique stood out in such films as Amistad .." Hello? Djimon was a slave in Amistad! Don't fetishize him for that intensely dramatic role. Did Calvin Klein, clearly a fan of African-American athleticism, cast the deciding vote? More:

"The Fall 2007 campaign, which will be shot in late March or early April, will appear internationally in more than 20 countries, with print and outdoor media timed to coincide with September 2007 magazine issues. Hounsou is the ninth man to be featured in a Calvin Klein Underwear campaign and the first actor in over a decade. Other past Calvin Klein Underwear models have included Ljungberg, Mark Wahlberg, and U.S. Olympic pole vaulter Tom Hintanhaus."

Because all-told what Oscarworthy actor doesn't want to expose their bulge, their ... "craft," if you will, for all the world to marvel at.
It Would Sure Be Embarassing if Marty Scorsese Lost Best Director

Nikki Finke opened her Deadline Hollywood Daily column with this interesting spoiler that seems to foreshadow Martin Scorsese finally getting the Oscar love he so richly deserves:

"Steven Spielberg, Francis Ford Coppola, and George Lucas together will be presenting the Best Director award this too-long telecast. What a gimmick. It'll be interesting for Hollywood to watch the interplay among them."

And, we imagine, the soul crushing silence if Marty once again comes up ... short -- no pun intended and Clint Eastwood gets his, like, billionth Oscar. We're rooting hard for Marty, of course, despite the fact that he had Jack Nicholson drop the N*bomb (What is it with Italian-American directors and the felt-need for organic authenticity by casually dropping the N*word in their films; Does it have to do with lingering hostilities at the North African Moors invasion of Italy?). Besides, Eastwood has so many Oscars he practically re-gifts those fuckers to his pals.
Is Bill Richardson Auditioning For Hillary?

(image via ngpsoftware)

Let's descend once again into the moist and fetid imaginings of Dick Morris, shall we? Or maybe we shouldn't and just make believe we did. No (Dismissive wave), seriously, we're ready. Is it any surprise that Morris zeroes in with predatory stealth on the Junior Senator from New York (Any luck with that Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Dick?). In this installment, Dick tosses aside lightly the notion that New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, the most qualified entrant into the Democratic scrum (thus far), is aiming after POTUS. Piffle, says Dickie-Poo, Richardson wants to be Number 2; Richardson's Mase to Billary's P Diddy (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Vintage Morris on TheHill:

"At first glance, it would seem odd for a rival for the Democratic nomination to spring to Hillary’s defense.

"But Richardson is not really running for president. He’s running for vice president, so it makes sense to attack Obama. Not only is Barack his chief rival for vice president, but he can audition in front of Hillary for the role of attack dog, which Hillary badly needs in her vice presidential candidate. Just as Nixon chose Agnew to be his Nixon, so Richardson hopes he can be Hillary’s Hillary."

Whereas Dick Morris only hopes he can be Hillary's one and only true-blue celebrity stalker. Fer realsies.
Borat Won't Present; Oscars Set to Be Predictable

We all know who will win Best Actress. And, this blog will be very, very angry if who we think ought to win Best actor doesn't (*cough*cough*African Dictator Chic*cough*cough). And there are countless other awards that do seem quite predictable, the wildly speculative Best Supporting Actor and Best Picture categories notwithstanding. The telecast, likewise, is trending, unfortunately, towards the nice and the safe and the ... edgeless (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). To wit, from TMZ:

"Sacha Baron Cohen has declined an invitation to present at Sunday's Academy Awards because, as the Los Angeles Times reports, show producers wouldn't allow him to appear as Borat Sagdiyev, the character that got him his Best Adapted Screenplay nomination -- and thus squelching any hope of unpredictability for the telecast."

What? You mean John Travolta won't be predictable? No, no, no. The altogether edgeless Gwyneth Paltrow and the doughey Tobey McGuire will do as told?


Sasha Baron Cohen's Borat performance should be honored with a nomination for Best Actor, not turned down on the grounds of its unpredictability. Three cheers for unpredictability.
Will An Angry Jack Nicholson Support Hillary?

(image via topdownloads)

Hollywood is a town full of outsize egos and Jack Nicholson, one of the most outsized, is clearly perturbed. At David Geffen, nonetheless. But does that mean he takes it to the level of High Politics? Liz Smith, everyones favorite grandmother who serves sunshine and oatmeal cookies with her seedy gossip, seems to know something more than we do about The Hollywood fundraising game:

"WELL, NOW that Hollywood titan/ mogul David Geffen has emphatically aligned himself with the Democrat's rising star Barack Obama and against his former friends the Clintons, I suppose we will take it as a given that the other undisputed king of Hollywood, Jack Nicholson, who is on the outs with Geffen - will now throw his support to Hillary. How else can it fall out?"

About that fallout, says Radar:

"According to the source, Nicholson believes Geffen strong-armed Academy members into nearly shutting out The Departed's cast in the acting categories. (The exception is Mark Wahlberg, who is up against Dreamgirls' Eddie Murphy in the supporting actor category.) What particularly annoys Nicholson, adds the source, is the cynical way Geffen used the promise of an Oscar nomination to get Murphy to settle for less than his usual rate.

"A rep for Nicholson declined to comment, but a well-placed Hollywood insider predicts Geffen's strategy will not result in an Oscar for Murphy, noting the way the actor has alienated Academy voters by complaining in public about not getting paid enough for Dreamgirls. Says the insider, 'You got paid for Norbit, you stupid prick.'"

And whatnot.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Corsair Classic

LATimes' Patrick Goldstein on Oscar's "Losers"

(image via amny)

Alert the Media: Harvey Weinstein is a "Loser." Sure movie moguls make roughly a million times what LA Times writer Patrick Goldstein makes (Averted Gaze), still, being a columnist -- Blog 1.0, for the uninitiated -- means being able to call them "Loser," in print, with a straight face (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). It's the consolation of writers, you see. The Oscars are the operating table, and Goldstein -- in his own fevered writerly imaginings -- is the "Head Surgeon," weilding the scalpel with terrifying aplomb (Cue: Wagner's "Flight of the Valkyries"). As the Cobra-Kaiu said in that significant cultural artifact "The Karate Kid," "Get the Body bags!!") From the LATimes:


"Brad Grey: Already so unloved that he makes Bob Yari look like the Dalai Lama, Grey has much of the town rooting against him after his antics at the Golden Globes, which saw him popping up, Zelig-like, in every publicity shot and reserving seats for himself at each Paramount table, even bumping his own specialty division chief from the 'Babel' table so Grey could be there when the cameras were rolling.

"Harvey Weinstein: If it wasn't bad enough that we have his 'Shakespeare in Love' microphone-hogging to blame for the academy's idiotic 'three-producer' rule, Weinstein found himself so out of Oscar contention that he had to run a best actress campaign for Sienna Miller, who had about as good a chance of landing a nomination as the babes in 'Turistas.'"

More "Losers" here
Dick Morris Schools Us on "Vicious, Destructive, Partisan politics"

(image via scienceblogs)

Like OMG! And we thought, in our political naivete, that Team Hillary had totally overreacted to Geffen's pro-Obama comments. Pshaw! We were so wrong! Thank God we have whoremongerer Dick Morris to give us a fair and balanced persepective on anything dealing with The Clintons. From TheHill Blog:

"Why is Hillary’s enforcer, Howard Wolfson, shooting Barack Obama in the kneecaps over David Geffen’s criticism of his candidate?

"Hillary and her boys realize that all that Obama has to sell is his purity. He’s like Evian Water. He has no particular taste, he just is the un-cola — the opposite of the vicious, destructive, partisan politics that pervades our country and turns off the voters."

Dick had us at " vicious, destructive, partisan politics" ... More here You might wan t to get some help with that Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, pally. Cause Roger Ailes aint helping you.
Who Will Succed Conan?

Regular readers know that The Corsair finds Carson Daly about as entertaining and as culturally relevant as an abnormally moist fart locked in an enclosed, densely populkated public space (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment).

We have issues equally as foul-smelling on the hugely uninteresting Jimmy Fallon. But the culture at large found his tousled hair and deer-in-the-headlights delivery of lines on "Weekend Update" to be cute. Even after his erstwhile film career has crashed and burned and left him a bloody mess on the side of the road covered in loser dust (Dismissive wave). And yet both punk asses ascend. From Popwatch:

"On Saturday Night Live, he co-anchored 'Weekend Update' with Tina Fey and hosted a talk show as Barry Gibb in a recurring sketch. But is Jimmy Fallon ready for a real-deal hosting gig? NBC apparently thinks so; the New York Times reports that the network is currently discussing a 'holding deal,' which would secure Fallon's on-air services, with the comedian and his representatives. Though the agreement wouldn't guarantee Fallon a late-night job, NBC has been putting out feelers for successors to Conan O'Brien after the redhead host takes over from Jay Leno on The Tonight Show in 2009.

"So far, the only other announced contender is Carson Daly, who has made no secret of his ambition to succeed O'Brien, and can't be terribly happy with the news that NBC may pass him over after his years spent working the network's post-Conan graveyard shift."

We too would like a "holding deal" with Jimmy Fallon, one in which the holding veers more into the squeezing category. More (Popwatch)

And then there is that pesky but persisten t rumor that NBC might just pay Conan the $40 million they are contractually obligated to pay him should Jay leno -- currently #1 late night -- reneges and decides to stay on. (More on that HERE; see paragraph 10)
On Esky 2.0

(image via thomashawke)

As someone who has read Esquire off and on since high school and as someone who has worked online for years it was something to see the new online incarnation. We say this because unlike other online magazine incarnations, Esky actually offers online exclusives from some interesting writers, like Kurt Andersen and Chuck Klosterman. Most online magazine ventures are reprints of articles (cheap). Esky, it seems, is willing to bring the brand that brought us the Vargas Girl and "Dubious Achievements" to a whole new level. And as someone who grew up with their attention to boundary pushing interesting and iconoclastic writers on the culture at large from a man's point of view, that is a wonderful thing (GQ always seemed more geared towards Wall Street traders on the social ascent, Allan Richman on Wine notwithstanding). From Paidcontent:

"Esquire’s website revealed its anticipated makeover on Wednesday, boasting several new features, along with sharper graphics and more prominent photos – but no video (it’s coming). For the past several months, its parent company Hearst has been planning a major digital overhaul of its key magazine titles

"... As for’s content, the articles, which are framed by ads for Las Vegas tourism, Microsoft, AT&T and others, are well laid out and readable. Aside from the offerings derived from the magazine, such as the eminently ignorable cover story featuring a profile of Robert Downey, Jr., the main attraction is the new 'web exclusive' department called The Side. From an editorial standpoint, there are two too many articles on Britney Spears. Still, it’s worth mentioning that Gawker reluctantly, even somewhat painfully, praised one of pieces by hipster journalist Chuck Klosterman – usually a reliable target for that site’s derision."

Esquire online is a pleasant surprise. More on Esky 2.0 here.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Bad News: Cathy Horyn Still Banned

(image via fashiontribes)

You've got to love (Disclaimer: We did some writing for the site a few years ago), the Dorian Gray of Web 2.0, who manage to do a decent amount of legwork on the sad fact that the fashion houses are quietly succeding in muscling The Gray Lady's Cathy Horyn. From Fashionweekdaily:

"A season later, Dolce & Gabbana’s ban on Cathy Horyn at its main collection show continues unwavering. The chief fashion critic of The New York Times confirmed this morning at Marni that members of the newspaper—namely herself and Guy Trebay—would not be in attendance at Thursday’s show (a Dolce & Gabbana spokesperson confirmed the news, adding that T: The New York Times Style Magazine had been invited, though offering no further explanation). Despite not attending last September’s show, Horyn then managed to review the collection sparingly by looking at photos. But not this time around: 'This season I won’t do that again,' she said. 'The collection will not be reviewed.' In New York, Horyn was likewise not invited to the Carolina Herrera show for two consecutive seasons.

"Not all the love’s been lost, however. The ban the fashion house placed on last season has been lifted."

Upcoming Upfronts Massacre (Be Afraid. be Very Afraid)

(image via avclub)

The title of Bill Carter's amazing look at networks on the brink of an age of the cost-effectiveness of Reality programming (And, ancillary to that: a new technological age) may ring truer than it's dismal sales sughgest. According to the usually scattered Daphne Mermigas of The Hollywood Reporter (via paidcontent), who, it seems, has finally "Got Her Groove Back":

"It is those advanced algorithms and profile building in a new era of consumer targeting and e-commerce that Google, Yahoo! and others are slowly bringing to bear on the television industry and the powerful likes of Time Warner, News Corp., Walt Disney Co., NBC Universal, Viacom, CBS Corp. and other giants.

"Surely with the help of trailblazers such as Apple iPod creator Steve Jobs and Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates, traditional media players eventually will find a way to retain the more than $60 billion advertisers spend annually on television by leveraging their branded networks not only across many new interactive media platforms but through a new interactive television-connected media hub that Apple, Microsoft and others plan to carve out of the average American living room beginning this year.

"While the continuation of the upfront ritual is assured until there is a well-constructed business model to replace it -- which most likely will take years -- the logic behind the value proposition, metric and create bets on which it is based have never appeared more suspect given the kinds of innovative and constructive advertising and consumer measurement practices emerging on the Internet and various interactive media platforms.

"To cite one example, a potential alliance between MySpace and eBay would provide an explosive interactive platform for taking transactional advertising to a first new level. And don't tell me Steve Jobs isn't going to find some way of making the iPhone, iMac and other iPod iterations advertising-friendly."

This only puts more pressure on Jeff Zucker -- and his network counterparts -- to get with "it" and capitalize on "The Digital Thing," else fall prey to Bob Wright's Worst case scenario. More here (Hollywood Reporter)
Heather Mills Dances ("Hops?") With The Stars

(image via landmines)

Alleged former one-legged hooker (Our favorite sleazy 80s "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" Arms dealer Adnan Khashoggi, her alleged "John," would probably *allegedly* call her a "Call Girl") Heather Mills, who is dragging the angelic Sir Paul McCarney through the mud (And that can't be easy, trick leg and all) is the latest entrant into the reality tv craze. from Paper Magazine:

"The contestants on the fourth season of Dancing with the Stars have been announced, and yes, Heather Mills, the one-legged estranged wife of Paul McCartney is set to compete. Why on earth she's decided to take part in this we have no clue."

Me neither. But we'll be hissing her castmate, the mulleted, seriously uncool frat boy, Ian Ziering. He exudes date rape and beer balls.
Graydon Carter's 800 Nearest and Dearest Friends Celebrate Good Times

(image via mediabistro)

Sunday, while many of us will be celebrating what can only be properly construed as the Gay Superbowl, namely, The Oscars (The Corsair sips The Black Wine of Cahors, elixir of Popes, pronouncing it "earthy"), 800 of E. Graydon Carter's nearest and dearest friends -- none presumably from his Canadian beginnings -- will be attending the Vanity Fair Oscar party at Mortons, or, as Graydo himself likes to call it, "The First Room." Let's hope that it goes off without a hitch (But with a Hitchens), as -- clearly -- the stress of the meticulously guest list has stressed out Graydo, he of the archierctonically Medieval hairdo (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)From Mononline(link via FishbowlNY):

"Graydon Carter's Academy Awards dinner/party at West Los Angeles' Morton's is now a fixture, but we remember the editor-in-chief's (since August 1992) relatively intimate gathering at the 1994 debut. This Sunday (February 25), there may be as much press as guests (estimated 800-strong)."

Just don't make Graydo's angry (You wouldn't like it when he's angry), he just might toss a scaffold at you. He's quit Winston Lights, you know.
Is Hillary Livid? Of Course She Is

We would think that an Old School pol like Hillary, who projects icy calculation almost to a her detriment, would be smarter than to telgraph her obvious displeasure at New-Jack Barack Obama's drawing on the same contribution waterhole -- Hollywood -- that she considers her possession. But if those intrepid Page Sixxes and Maureen Dowd are to be believed -- and we believe 'em -- Senator Clinton is livid (*The Corsair shudders*). Poor HGillary: If she is too calculating, she is lambasted; If she is too emotional, she is being too much of a Woman. From Dowd's column today:

"Barack Obama has made an entrance in Hollywood unmatched since Scarlett O’Hara swept into the Twelve Oaks barbecue. Instead of the Tarleton twins, the Illinois senator is flirting with the Dreamworks trio: Mr. Geffen, Steven Spielberg and Jeffrey Katzenberg, who gave him a party last night that raised $1.3 million and Hillary’s hackles.

"She didn’t stand outside the gates to the Geffen mansion, where glitterati wolfed down Wolfgang Puck savories, singing the Jennifer Hudson protest anthem 'And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going.' But she’s not exactly Little Miss Sunshine, either. Hillary loyalists have hissed at defecting donors to remember the good old days of jumping on the Lincoln Bedroom bed.

“'Hillary is livid that Obama’s getting the first big fund-raiser here,' one friend of hers said."

David Geffen goes on to say "slyly" that Steven Spielberg kind of got in trouble with The Clinton's for attending last night's Obama fundraiser (And, possibly, Terry McAuliffe had to spin Rovak to explain the embarassment of Dreamweorks' flirtation with Obama). And that is the least of it. On record, Geffen really blasts The Clintons. Kurt Andersen, on his Esquire blog, writes:

"The Clintons and Geffen used to be mutually, passionately smitten. At one Clinton White House dinner, I learned from a friend who sat at the president’s table along with Geffen and George Kennan, Clinton simply ignored Kennan — the éminence grise who masterminded our successful 'containment' policy toward the Soviets — in order to gossip with Geffen about Hollywood."

But, ironically, Clinton -- who was widely speculated in the 90s as being bound to be a Dremworks Executive -- ultimately turned out more Kennanish statesman than Hollywood Player. We all grow up.
Hollywood Gives to Obama

For $4,600 you too could have noshed on crabcakes and shrimp dumplings with Senator Barack Obama and David Geffen and Jennifer Aniston. From Matthew Most of The Washington Post:

"Hollywood has always gravitated to the fresh face, so the crushing turnout there yesterday at a rally and a series of fundraisers for presidential contender Barack Obama followed a familiar Tinseltown story line.

"The Democratic senator from Illinois drew thousands to a South Los Angeles park, then headed to Beverly Hills for a fundraising double feature that organizers said yielded him an estimated $1.3 million.

Movie stars Tom Hanks, Jennifer Aniston and Denzel Washington wrote checks, and scores of producers and agents paid $4,600 per couple -- the maximum allowed -- to jam a hotel ballroom for a two-hour, closed-door cocktail reception hosted by entertainment moguls Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg and David Geffen.

"Those who collected $46,000 in checks for the event, which attracted 300 people, were invited to Geffen's house for a more intimate sit-down dinner with Obama."

The V-VIP room (The Corsair nods his head all-too-knowingly). But not everyone is in the champagne roomAnd, from those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"NOT everyone was psyched for last night's highly anticipated fund-raiser for Barack Obama, held by DreamWorks founders David Geffen, Steven Spielberg and Jeffrey Katzenberg. A source with close knowledge of the event said Obama's fellow front-runner for the Democratic presidential nomination, Sen. Hillary Clinton, was furious at the three, who she thought were her friends, for supporting her rival. According to our source, an angry call was made to Geffen by someone in Clinton's office. 'They were very angry [the movie moguls] were holding this event,' our source said. 'They calmed down after an assurance was made that there would still be support and money left over for [Clinton].' A rep for Clinton said, 'No one spoke to [Geffen].' Clinton is having her own funder on March 24 and Spielberg has agreed to host another for her. Obama's event was so popular that it had to be moved from a restaurant that could hold 400 people to the Beverly Hilton, which can hold 600."
Britney Thought Lice were Eating Her Extentions?

Britney fucked the whole shit up. The chick is cracked. Do lice even eat hair extentions? A likely story, to be sure. What would compel Britney to shave off her luxurious weave (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment), exposing a cratered surface with a crazy-eyed "Look What I Just Did" face into all the assembled cell-phone cameras? Lice, people (Or so she wants us to believe). Horses may have had to die -- or at least appease the appetite of a Lagerfeld -- for Britney's hair, but apparently lice (Riiight) were making a meal of her scalp. At least that is Britney's admittedly "fucky" self-diagnosis. According to the 3AMGirls:

'BRITNEY Spears told pals she shaved her bonce because her hair was home to hundreds of egg-laying lice.

"She made the extraordinary claim just hours before checking herself back into an LA rehab clinic last night.

"Troubled Britney complained to friends of a 'strange itching' on her scalp before running out of Eric Clapton's Crossroads clinic last week on Caribbean isle Antigua The 25-year-old said the bugs 'totally freaked me out' and she had no choice but to lose her locks.

"Leaving LA's Mondrian hotel, Brit was heard shuddering: 'I had to get rid of the lice. They were horrible.'

"A source close to Brit told us: 'She thought lice were eating her hair extensions, so she decided to get rid of them as soon as possible.'"

See, we would have diagnosed dandruff and counseled a robust moisturizer, but, hey: Britney evidently got her medical degree at Carvell's College of Knowledge, no? Either that, or -- the much more sane reason -- is Fed-Ex threatened to have her hair tested for drugs in their upcoming custody battle. Britney, as youll remember, is -- like all trailer trash -- obsessed with crime scene forensics. Obsessed. We don't know why trailer trash dig it; our aesthetic tastes run towards African masks, Gurdjieffian metaphysics and Etruscan Vases, but there's no accounting for taste. Evidently Brit-Brit, amateur forensic scientist (or, perhaps K-Fed just knew how to push her buttons) kind of lost it when thinking those same forensic breakthroughs she loves could permanently separate her from her kids. So she cut her hair, not realizing that her eyebrows and eyelashes still exist. Crackhead move, brit.

She's Old School possum-eating trailer trash Dingbat. Fer realsies. More (3AMGirls)