Thursday, October 21, 2004

Bill Clinton, Secretary General of the United Nations?



Michael Bloomberg famously remarked that the four greatest jobs in the world are, in no particular order, the US President, Pope, Mayor of New York and Secretary General of the UN. Well, Bill Clinton has been President, passed on running for Mayor, is unlikely to become the Pope, but, according to Roland Flamini, UPI Chief International Correspondent, Clinton wants the job as head of the UN:

"Former U.S. President Bill Clinton has set his sights on becoming U.N. secretary-general. A Clinton insider and a senior U.N. source have told United Press International the 56-year-old former president would like to be named leader of the world body when Kofi Annan's term ends early in 2006.

"'He definitely wants to do it,' the Clinton insider said this week."

The Corsair has said in the past that we would prefer former Ambassador and President George Bush Senior as Secretary General, but Clinton is beloved in the Third World, despite his lack of credentials in comparison to Bush Pere. The only problem -- aside from the fact that a second Bush Administration would never appoint him --is that it is Asia's turn. In fact, Kofi Anan's second term should have gone to an Asian diplomat. Of course, some diplomacy and charm could save the day.

"A Clinton candidacy is likely to receive overwhelming support from U.N. member states, particularly the Third World. Diplomats in Washington say Clinton would galvanize the United Nations and give an enormous boost to its prestige. But the former president's hopes hang on a crucial question that will not be addressed until after the presidential elections: can he get the support of the U.S. government -- a prerequisite for nomination?

"The political wisdom is that a second George W. Bush presidency would cut him off at the pass. The notion of Clinton looming large in the international arena from 'the glass tower' in New York would be intolerable to the Bush White House. If Democratic candidate, Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., wins on Nov. 2 the prospect of Clinton as secretary-general won't exactly be welcome either, but Kerry would find it much harder -- if not impossible -- to go against it. "

Right. That cannot be a popular choice for Kerry, who, up until labor day, resisted the urge to put former Clinton staffers on board his team. Kerry so wants to be his own man that he has all but defanged Clinton's boy Terry McAuliffe at the DNC. And, of course, what President would want to appoint his predecessor, a man of great charm and pizzaz, to a position where he might actually overshadow the new President.

"After a Middle East U.N. Secretary General (Boutros Boutros Ghali) and an African (Kofi Annan) it is generally considered Asia's turn to fill the post, U.N. experts say. No announcement has been made, but behind the scenes China is already pushing the candidacy of Thai Foreign Minister Surakiart Sathirathai, who also seems to have U.S. support. If Clinton does emerge as a candidate, however, China would most likely shift its support, the experts say.

"No American has ever been U.N. secretary-general, but the United States is both host country to the United Nations and the major contributor to its budget.

" ... The former president has told friends and Kerry staffers he plans to resume campaigning for Kerry, but on a limited scale because his recovery has been gradual. He has talked of his interest in taking over at the United Nations since the publication of his commercially successful autobiography, which he recently said had sold 1.9 million copies. Writing the book kept him busy after leaving office in 2000, but he is now ready to channel his considerable political skills and energy into another role in public life.

"Putting Clinton in charge of the United Nations would be a real test of international intentions, observers say.

"'Critics of the U.N. complain that it's an organization without the muscle and will to put its decisions into effect,' the U.N. source observed. 'There's a good chance that Clinton could significantly change that situation, and then we'll see if the critics mean what they say.'"

Okay, The Corsair will ask the question on everybody's lips which no one particularly wants to voice -- Is it wise to put that much international booty in front of Bill Clinton? Can he handle that quantity of diverse ass? Consider the sexy, sophisticated, grad student aged -- and, above all, discreet -- translators. As a kid my mind was blown visiting my dad, Uganda's Ambassador to the US and UN during the late 70s, at the UN headquarters and these phenomenally hott women. Ultraphenomenally hott.

Maybe Clinton is just bored at the change in seasons and how that has affected the wardrobes Uptown. The ladies up on 125th in Harlem have begun to bundle up again -- no more milkshake in poom poom shorts -- and poor Bill was probably getting used to the summer parade. Add on to matter that Hill is in DC on the Senate floor doing the work of the Empire State.

We're talking splendiferous Tahitian and Micronesian ass, people; do you know that that's kryptonite to a middle aged Arkansan with a bad ticker?

2 comments:

Shaw Israel Izikson said...

Bill's a lonely boy. His wife is off being ms. senator, his daughter is off at college somewhere...he's gotta do somethin' more than sittin' in Harlem w/Big Mac attacks.

If this U.N. thing doesn't pan out maybe he can be prez of that tv-less Miss America pagent? He COULD restore some prestige into that y'know...

Jimmy said...

I can think of no better way to shore up our relations with the developing world than by appointing Clinton Secretary Genital, or at least ambASSador. Dude would have himself some smorgasbroads.