Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...



Won't someone please fetch this man a nutritious Peanut Punch? (image via thecobrasnake)



The pause that refreshes! (image via thecobrasnake)



Instant Corsair Parlor Game: Guess which one's the cream cheese filling -- eEw -- in this spoiled skank sandwich. (image via thecobrasnake)



Tee-hee-- snff,snff -- Rusty Pipes! (image via thecobrasnake)



Do you ever worry about the karmic consequences of what it is we do? No ... me neither. (image via nysocialdiary)

Separated At Birth?



Elven pop-singing simpleton, David-Archuleta? (image via davidarchaulettatickets)



-- And Elven, pop-culturally significant simpleton, Freddy Prinze, Jr. (image via filmweb)

Gore Vidal Supports Barack Obama



(image via vanderbilt)

And it all comes full circle. Our gadfly Eugene Luther Gore Vidal, who has lived through one-third of the history of America and chronicled its entire breadth is actually supporting a Presidential frontrunner. And that is quite a feat for someone so skeptical that his prose at times seems laced with acid.

Melvyn Bragg of The South Bank Show, who last interviewed Gore Vidal twenty years ago, interviewed the great American writer last night on ITV1 in thr UK. Granted, Gore Vidal, one of the last literary lions of postwar America, is something of a literary crank. That doesn't make him a bad person, necessarily. He still has interesting things to say. Especially on the subject of Senator Clinton of New York, who, in 1994, visited the great author ("Scrittore") at his old house in Ravenna, Italy. The local papers wrote, "Lady Clinton nel paradiso di Vidal." At the time Vidal wrote in his memoir Palimpsest (via Florence King in NR):

"The Clintons are now under attack because they would improve a society that is a heaven for, perhaps, one-tenth of the people and a hell, of varying degrees, for the rest. I doubt if he will survive his first term. He will experience either the bullet or a sudden resignation, and then cousin Albert, the Cromwell of Washington's Fairfax Hotel, will be Lord Protector."

But it was not to be. And the political seduction, as oftentimes happens with the Clintons, didn't stick. But how could it? Vidal has been seduced, politically, by the best. From TimesOnline:

"At 82, Gore Vidal has reached an enviable position: he is an influential man of letters, a political activist, a scion of the New World aristocracy and a friend of the powerful and famous, including the Clintons.

So what does he think of Hillary Clinton’s stated intention to fight on to the bitter end for the Democratic presidential nomination? The reply is instant and searing: 'I think her strategy is more or less insane.'

"...During the Clinton administration, Vidal admired Bill’s understanding of the poor and of black people. His devotion to the Clintons has now been laid aside, however. By clinging on to her campaign, waiting for the small chance that Obama will make a terminal mistake, Hillary has crossed a line, he believes.

As for Obama, Vidal has taken time to warm to him. 'I liked the idea of him, but he never managed to get my interest. I was brought around by his overall intelligence – specifically when he did his speech on race and religion.'"

More here.

A Little Of The Old In And Out



(image via timeinc)

In: Senator Ted Kennedy. In such moments of what can only be properly construed as political exigency, Ted Kennedy's importance to this great nation in the United States Senate becomes most evident. Although the scandal surrounding Chappaquiddick forever destroyed his chances at achieving The White House, the telos of an American political career, Senator Kennedy's ability to cross the aisle and forge significant legislative compromises have moved the country forward socially with great strides.

And Kennedy's strategic championing of anti-apartheid legislation in the mid-80s bears a direct relation to the fall of South Africa's totalitarian regime. From TheBostonHerald:

"A prolonged absence by U.S. Sen. Edward M. Kennedy from the presidential trail could spell trouble for Democrats who are relying on his iconic stature to heal wounds after the party’s bruising nomination fight, political strategists said.

"'He is a stabilizing influence who can play an important role in wrapping his arms around the party right now,' said George Serra, chairman of the political science department at Bridgewater State College. 'No matter which way Democrats fall, they have great respect for Sen. Kennedy.'

"With the battle between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama coming to a close, Democrats are looking to the Bay State’s senior senator and other party standard bearers to restore a sense of unity as the general election draws near."

It is, incidentally, not onconceiveable that Kennedy's example, in the Senate as Presidentially unelectable, could serve as a guidepost to Hillary Clinton's post-campaign future. Anyway: Get well soon, Senator, the nation needs you.



Out: "Johnifer." His rapey-eyes notwithstanding ("No means no"): grody to the max, this. Her astonishing neediness to hook-up with someone famous is only topped in raw obnoxiousness by his sheer reptile cold-bloodedness (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Seriously, though: Isn't Aniston, like, suspect by the fact that John Mayer is unable to generate vital bodily warmth? Wouldn't that be a dealbreaker? From Daily Mail:

"Guitarist Mayer has dated a string of other Hollywood beauties, including Jennifer Love-Hewitt and Jessica Simpson - and friends fear Brad Pitt's ex may be heading for further heartache.

"But the couple seem blissfully happy, and recently enjoyed a romantic break together in the city where there were also seen canoodling poolside.

"A source told The Daily Mirror: 'They appear to be in the honeymoon stage of their relationship. They were laughing at each other's jokes and being very touchy-feely.'"

*The Corsair shudders*



In: Contemporary Art. Never stand between a Russian oligarch and a gaudy piece of contemporary art (Averted Gaze). We, of course, are not big fans of "The Contempo Scene." But it is big despite the serious criticism, especially among hedge-fund punks. That scene in "Hannah and Her Sisters" where Max Von Sydow tells the tasteless buyer, "I don't sell my work by the yard (Averted Gaze)." From ArtForum:

"A few decades ago, people spoke of the shock of the new. On Wednesday night, Sotheby’s Contemporary Art Evening Sale was all about the incredible wealth of the few. The auction, which totaled $362 million, was the biggest in the company’s history. Tobias Meyer, Sotheby’s chief auctioneer, said the sale was the result of 'global hunger' on the part of 'global individuals' who 'live everywhere.'"

Substitute "Global Individuals" for "Louche Russian Oil Billionaires" and "Live Everywhere" to ".. Argh! Did someone just spike The Corsair's fizzy with Polonium-210?"

The Complicated Romantic Life Of Sean Penn



Sean Penn's "colorful" social life is in danger of overshadowing the world's greatest film festival. Hard drinking, hard smoking, hard acting, hard spitting (Eew), hard punching, hard politicking and -- lest we forget -- hard lovin' is what Penn is all about. He's a true American original with a complicated romantic life that only the French could truly appreciate. From AFP:

"Scowling US actor-director Sean Penn, who this year is head of the Cannes festival jury, comes to the film extravaganza bringing his own romantic plot.

"It might be titled 'Three Women and a Fest', or words to that effect, with Penn facing his current wife, ex-wife and 2008 Oscar date all in the space of a week.

"Penn's on-again second wife Robin Wright Penn is in Cannes as the co-star with Robert De Niro of "What Just Happened" by Barry Levinson, which closes the festival May 25.

"The couple filed for divorce months ago but recently got back together.

"Penn's first wife Madonna is also arriving in Cannes to show her documentary about Malawi AIDS orphans, 'I Am Because We Are', screening this week.

"Meanwhile the actor's current pet project 'The Third Wave', a film about volunteer aid workers during the 2004 tsunami, got a special festival screening with an introduction by the woman who introduced Penn to the film -- Czech model Petra Nemcova.

"Nemcova, who famously survived the tsunami clinging to a tree in Thailand as her fiancé was swept away to his death, was Penn's 2008 Oscar night party date."

More here.

Media-Whore D'Oevres

"Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.) received a warm phone call from President Bush on Monday during his third day at a Massachusetts hospital, according to the Democrat’s office. Bush called the cell phone of the senator’s wife, Victoria, sending his best wishes and telling her to 'take care of my friend,' Kennedy's office said. Despite the heated partisan rhetoric in Washington, Kennedy and Bush have worked closely together on some key White House initiatives, including on education and immigration reform." (TheHill)

"At the midpoint in the competition for the coveted Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival, the South Americans are in the lead. Arguably, the two best-received films so far have been Walter Salles and Daniela Thomas' 'Linha de Passe' from Brazil and Pablo Trapero's 'Lion's Den' from Argentina ...There will be general agreement in this, however: It's been a tough slog through an urban plague, social decay, war crimes, crime wars, families in prison and families torn apart by dead children." (Reuters)

"Continuing coverage of the Marche du Film in Cannes, indieWIRE reports on the latest deals and news from the Croisette. The Weinstein Company buys the rights to best-selling book 'The Alchemist,' Reliance announced plans to fund Hollywood production companies, IFC Films takes 'L'Aventure,' MGM heads discuss the company's future at the American Pavilion, a look at the Korean Pavillion, and more ... The Weinstein Company co-founder Harvey Weinstein will personally produce the screen adaptation of author Paulo Coelho's bestselling novel, 'The Alchemist,' in which Laurence Fishburne will direct, star as well as produce, the company announced from Cannes Sunday morning. The $60 million-plus project will begin production later this spring or early summer, Mr. Weinstein said during a press conference at a seaside restaurant off the Croisette." (Indiewire)

"Lily Allen has been seen partying on Formula One mogul and Queens Park Rangers owner Flavio Briatore's yacht in Cannes. The singer was also photographed topless on the yacht in the south of France." (NME)

"Squeamish alert: I just watched Service, a jauntily unsanitary Filipino film in competition for the Grand Prize, in which a young man, well, he pops a boil on, as it were, his buttocks, with, to be exact, the lip of a Coke bottle. In close up. J'aime world cinema! And so to dinner." (Lisa Schwartzbaum/ Popwatch)

"It has been some months since Lady Victoria Hervey has graced the social pages, so it's little wonder she might seem keen for a little attention at Cannes. And the socialite certainly turned heads at the Cannes Film Festival last night with her barely there dress." (ThisisLondon)

"Usually I scream bloody murder when a gay man marries a woman, but when Jack Wrangler hooked up with Margaret Whiting all those years ago, I thought, 'Well, maybe.' She was 55, he was 33. She was a classic, old-style singer, he was a once-raunchy porn star. She was a woman, he was a gay. But they both liked showtunes! And when Wrangler told her he was gay, Whiting's response was 'only around the edges, dear.'" (Musto)

"Endings are rarely as joyous as beginnings--and in the case of a long, wearing, and ultimately disappointing campaign, they can be downright brutal. But they also have the potential to be educational, for participants and gawkers alike. So it is that we asked (begged, really) a range of Hillarylanders for their up-close and personal lists of 'What Went Wrong?'" (TNR)

"Liz Smith has it first: the title of my next book on the Metropolitan Museum of Art will be Rogues’ Gallery. La Liz gets a few more things right, too. The Met is 'remarkable, incredibly valuable and super-important,' and so is its incredibly rich story, which is why I chose to write it. The Met has refused to let a photo archive 'sell photos of the building for the book jacket. (Even though the museum is owned by the city and sits on public land.)' And the Met 'will survive' my daring to look at its history without its blessing. If all goes according to plan, Rogues’ Gallery will be published next year by Broadway Books, despite the museum’s attempts to stop it. " (Gripebox)

Are Republicans Targeting Michelle Obama?

There is ... something in the political winds. And it smells of cardomum and sulfur and, unfortunately, mischief (The Corsair uncorks a glass of "the fizzy").

Although our favorite Dickensian villain Robert Novak seemed to close the door on the door on the Whether-or-Not-Obama-is-Fatally-Flawed argument after the Senator won decisively in North Carolina and came within a whisker of winning Indiana, in spite of Limbaugh's despicable "Operation Chaos (Averted Gaze)." Recently, however, the right-wing blogosphere, columnists and certain television programs have advanced veiled, strange attacks on: a) Senator Obama's "associations," and, 2) Michelle Obama's brief comments about America taken entirely out of context, repeated, ad nauseum, at conservative venues.

First, this "associations" argument questions the Junior Senator from Illinois' judgement, conjuring up Jeremiah Wright, Tony Rezco and William Ayers. The Democrat Senator Hillary Clinton, ironically, was the first to bring this up at that last debate. The strategy failed. But The Clintons have always hinted at something.

Second, there is the subject of Michelle Obama's brief remarks. Today Senator Obama, a loyal husband, asked the GOP to kindly lay off his wife, Michelle. Some context: rumors are floating around the underbelly of the web -- eew -- today that there is a tape of Michelle Obama giving a racially incendiary speech at Trinity church. The reports come from a virulently pro-Clinton web site, "No Quarter," so keep that in mind.

According to this oily pro-Clinton vehicle, which says, in part, "(I)f you have a copy of the Michelle Obama video, in which she is lambasting white people ... at Jeremiah Wright’s church, then there is an ultra conservative Republican billionaire who wants to pay your $1 million dollars for the tape. Why? He hates John McCain. Conservative Republicans refer to John McCain as a Marxist and a sell out (and those are the nice comments). The billionaire in question believes Barack is a very weak candidate and, if he gets the Democratic nod, then McCain will surely be President. Especially after the October 'surprise' of Michelle Obama ... The billionaire wants to preempt McCain and Rove and has put the word out thru conservative networks that there is a $1 million dollar bounty for the person or persons who produce the tape."

Whew! Okay, now. We almost want to follow-up with tales of alien abductions and interdimensional communications through aluminum foil! ...Almost. But we are in the thick of a heated and historical poltical season.

Right now these allegations clearly fall in the "rumor" category, under the sub heading "thoroughly goddam weird." But .. it might have merit, considering that the Clintons have been pleading behind the scenes with super delegates to hold off on endorsing Obama because "Obama Can't Win." And it was Hillary, in her campaign's dying last gasp, who began this odd charge of Obama's "associations," which, at the time, was too crypto-gnomic to gain any political traction whatsoever.

As Senator Obama steadily advanced to the nomination, there has always been an undercurrent among the cognoscenti of "Why not?" Why, Senator Clinton, Can't Obama win? Do the Clintons know something that we don't know? Why are the Clintons so sure that the Obama candidacy will implode? Why does Senator Clinton's campaign -- despite the prohibitive electoral math -- continue to circle the Obama campaign like vultures over carrion? And why did the Clinton campaign veer, at the end, towards the white working-class vote in Appalachia? Was that political maneuver telegraphing something? And now: Is this sleazy, far-fetched sounding rumor true? Is this what the Clintons have been darkly hinting at?

Last night on The John Batchelor Show, Vaughn Ververs, of CBS News, when told about the tape, said the story has more plot twists than a movie. Clearly it does. On the surface, these stories of October Surprises, Karl Rove and this alleged Michelle Obama speech all strike us as being roadkill on the campaign trail impeding progress of the wheels of change.

But ... is there something? Or will this all simply come to naught?

UPDATE: From Politico: "Senator Obama, speaking to Robin Roberts on ABC's 'Good Morning America,' warns Republicans against trying to make Michelle an issue: 'The GOP, should I be the nominee— I think can say whatever they wanna say about me, my track record. I've been in public life for 20 years. … If they think that they're gonna try to make Michelle an issue in this campaign, they should be careful. Because, that I find unacceptable. … The notion that you start attacking my wife or my family — you know, Michelle is the most honest, the best person I know. She is one of the most caring people I know. She loves this country. And for them to try to distort or to play snippets of her remarks in ways that are unflattering to her I think is … just low class. And I think they — most of the American people would think that as well. I would never think of going after somebody's spouse in a campaign. And for — especially for — people who purport to be promoters of family values … o start attacking my wife in a political campaign, I think … is detestable.'"

Agreed.

Huckabee: "It Was A Bookshelf, For Heaven’s Sakes. It Really Was A Bookshelf"



Former Governor Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, on Senator McCain's shortlist for Vice President and in line for several lucrative speaking/commentator gigs, went on Meet the Press yesterday to quell the fires stirred by campaign sleazoid Ed Rollins -- which we reported -- where the advisor appeared to say that the cross affair was calculated "free media (At least that's how we heard it)."

Huckabee told Tim Russert (via foxnews), "I took grief for months, I’m still taking it, over something that wasn’t even a cross. It was a bookshelf, for heaven’s sakes. It really was a bookshelf."

Saudi Arabia Rejects Bush On Oil Production



The increasingly lame-duckish President Bush's face-to-face appeal for a Saudi Arabian increase of oil output to lower gas prices at home was rejected. From the NYTimes:

"With the price of oil hitting record highs, President Bush used a private visit to King Abdullah’s ranch here Friday to make a second attempt to persuade the Saudi government to increase oil production. And while Saudis appeared to rebuff the request, the Saudi oil minister, Ali al-Naimi, announced that the kingdom had increased output by 300,000 barrels a day, starting May 10.

"..The Saudis have previously rejected American requests to increase production, and Mr. Naimi insisted that the increase was in response to demands from some 50 'customers' worldwide. He did not specify further. 'Our response is positive,' he said at a news conference. 'If you want more oil you need to buy it.'"

Where's the love?

Media-Whore D'Oevres



"'I'm always smiling, I can't stop,' said Reem Acra as she dashed into Skylight Studios on Thursday night for Operation Smile's fifth-annual benefit gala. 'Life makes me happy, so I had to come and help others smile.' Acra joined the likes of Alexandra Richards, Donald Trump, Andrew Tisch, Lacey Tisch, and Olivia Palermo at the black tie soiree that raised nearly $2 million for the organization's worldwide initiatives. Co-chairs Vanessa and Donald Trump Jr. recounted last year's most memorable event. 'My water broke here last May,' said Vanessa, whose daughter Kai Madison turned one on Monday ... A lively after party followed, with the boozed up crowd taking to the dance floor. As Nick Cannon spun tunes in the deejay booth, his new bride--and Smile Ambassador--Mariah Carey, in Ralph Lauren, shook her body nearby." (Fashionweekdaily)

"Over at the Plaza, Seeds of Peace hosted its annual gala dinner honoring Ambassador Zalay Khalizad, US Ambassador to the UN." (NYSocialDiary)

For someone coming back after serving in Iraq or Afghanistan for two or three or four tours of duty, they need to catch up quickly, and we need to help them," said former Secretary of State Colin Powell last week at City College in New York. Earlier this week, Republicans and Democrats clashed over their differing versions of how to make the GI Bill of Rights more relevant to today's veterans. Powell supports Virginia Senator Jim Webb's version of a 21st century GI Bill that would expand the 1944 Servicemen's Readjustment Act signed into law two weeks after D-Day by FDR." (Ron Mwangaguhunga/ Kenneth Cole's AWEARNESS Blog)

"Last week, in an analysis of the popular vote in the Democratic race, I quoted Manuel Alvarez-Rivera, a Puerto Rican election expert who scoffed at the widely accepted estimate here on the mainland of a turnout of 1,000,000 voters in Puerto Rico's June 1 primary. It’s a little remarkable in the first place that the matter of turnout by the late-voting Puerto Rico Democrats should be a topic of discussion at all. But with the expectation that Hillary Clinton will post a resounding win there, possibly erasing Barack Obama's overall popular vote lead under certain circumstances (i.e. counting Florida and/or Michigan), Puerto Rico has been a crucial component of any argument that the Democratic contest is still undecided. But the one million figure is based on the astronomical turnout that marks some Puerto Rican elections that deal with the fraight issue of that island's status, and as Alvarez-Rivera told me, that sort of intensity probably won't spill over to a presidential primary. He suggested the real number would be around 600,000." (Steve Kornacki/Observer)

NPR, Race and West Virginia



(image via map-of-usa)

Phone bankers hearing caustic remarks ("hang darkie from a tree"), the frequent use of the N-word, Obama campaign workers getting doors slammed in their faces ... ahh, sweet West Virginia. It speaks to the character of Obama that his campaign purposefully downplayed reporting on these events in the mountain state. NPR does a must-listen-to story with Michele Norris and Washington Post reporter Kevin Merida on his story this week.


Audio will be available at 7pm ET here.

The Kaiser's Entourage



We like big personalities. Style mavens who can only be properly construed as "beaucoup." The people whom celebrities obsequiously emulate (The Corsair sparks a Schimmelpenninck Mono Cigarillo Natural). Tastemakers, from behind the scenes, you see. Influencers who make the A-Listers squeal, like when Madonna couldn't contain herself upon visiting Queen Elizabeth.

So Karl Lagerfeld, who lost weight on an eccentric horse-flesh, tomatoes and Diet Coke diet, is like a big crazydelicious gift from the blog-gods. And the man-debutante gloves? What the fuck is up with that? Everything he does is covered in a weirdly tasteful freakshow bedazzlement. Like this, from Fashionweekdaily:

"Casa Tua translates to 'your house' in Italian, which made this famed Miami restaurant an even more perfect venue for a Chanel dinner in honor of Karl Lagerfeld. On Wednesday night, the homey space really belonged to everyone--the 70 or so Chanel staffers flown in from Paris to stage this evening's cruise collection show poolside at the Raleigh Hotel, a smattering of editors, a few celebrities, and, bien sur, Karl's notorious entourage. Don't speak French? Tant pis.

"Out of respect for the Kaiser, few wore anything but his handwork--and those who made do with mere accessories stuck with cocktail dresses in innocuous shades of Lagerfeld-approved black and white. In head-to-toe Chanel: Diane Kruger, Zoe Kravitz, Anna Mouglalis, Irina Lazareanu, Joana Preiss, Lady Amanda Harlech...the beloved designer must've been on muse overload.

"... When Lagerfeld finally made his grand entrance flanked by Stephen Gan, Ingrid Sischy, and Sandy Brant (making a brief stop before heading to Cannes), and more attendants that one could accurately count, he promptly took his seat in the restaurant's main room before deciding that it was too bright. 'We should move,' he said, and the staff scurried to set up a table on the considerably darker patio as he sat down between Harlech and Patricia Riekel.

"Halfway into the meal of farro and haricots verts, pappardelle with lamb ragu, grilled turbot and seared lamb chops, Lagerfeld relaxed enough to act a bit out of character.

"'He removed his glasses!' a stunned Rue Cambon staffer said incredulously. In unison: 'C'est pas vrai!' The even stranger thing? They stayed off until dessert."

C'est si bon. Can you just imagine this clusterfuck of egos -- a veritable Council of Style Bishops -- hanging on the every utterance of The Kaiser? Lagerfeld's like the fashion-Pope, people. So genius. More here.

Desmond Tutu: Sri Lanka Should Not Get Seat An UN Human Rights Council



(image via thecommonwealth)

One of the few positive achievements of the neoconservatives is the attention they drew to the United Nations Human Rights Council. The New York Sun, one of the money-losing vehicles the neocons use to spread their dark gospel, pays an almost pathological amount of attention to the minutiae of the UN, and, lately, the Human Rights Council. Although the motives of the Sun's fixation with the UN are malevolent (they would rather have a looser-knit "coalition of democracies"), their opposition to business-as-usual at Turtle Bay has put tyrannies on the defensive. And Desmond Tutu, a staunch human rights advocate, is pressing the advantage. From Desmond Tutu, writing for The Guardian:

"It would seem self-evident that a country which tortures and kidnaps its own people has no place on the world's leading human rights body. Apparently not: Sri Lanka, despite repeated criticism for its human rights record, is running for re-election to the UN human rights council, with a vote to be held in New York on May 21.

"Governments owe it to Sri Lankan human rights victims - and to victims of human rights abuses around the world - to ensure that the Sri Lankan bid fails. This will be an important test of the 47-member council, to show that the UN's standards for it will be honoured."

More here.

Corsair Classic

Anne Heche Can't Pay July's Spousal Support



(image via msnbc)

Somewhere Steve Martin and Ellen DeGeneres are clinking classes of a crisp Chablis and softly chuckling .. Anne Heche, who, it seems, has really never had a problem getting work in the industry, strangely cannot pay her spousal support to the obnoxiously lazy Coley Laffoon (What's the matter, Coleman, can't hang?). What we want to know, though, is: Couldn't "Celestia" have foreseen that possibility and planned accordingly? Judge Gail R. Feuer suspended the July 1 2008 spousal and child support payment that was supposed to be made by Heche.

The Chamberlain/Appeasement Cliche

"History teaches us .." goes one cliche used by macho arguers right before they crowbar in their latest hawkish pet theory. Another national security cliche is the Lord Chamberlain-appeasement argument. The deflated Bush, a failed President, inserted himself clumsily into the Presidential race -- the only game in town -- for some much-needed political oxygen.

Could we have a moratorium on using the Chamberlain argument for military hawkishness?

And, while we are at it could we please stop using "thrown under the bus"? Thank you!

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...



Live in the moment of a man-hug. Don't let anything distract your attention. (image via thecobrasnake)



Are you, or have you ever been, a member of the "Bro-cialist" party? (image via thecobrasnake)



"Rapey-eyes" -- clap clap -- they're watching you .. they see your every move.
(image via people)



"Leotard Strength:" The inexplicable physical force possessed by the stylistically handicapped(image via thecobrasnake)



When the "longtime companion's" away, the mice will play! (image via thecobrasnake)

Dolly Parton Is "Devastated" By Howard Stern Parody



(image via sify)

Dolly Parton is a national treasure and a darling. As a child, in Ottawa, Canada, Parton's smokey mountain anthem to family values, "Jolene" was often played in the Mwangaguhunga house. The fact that she has remained relevant all these years is a testament to her down-home chic. But she should really develop a tougher skin. America's court jester and Shakespearean Fool Howard Stern, as per usual, takes audio books and mashes them into filthy parodies. Everyone knew that when he mashed up Parton's audiobook t make her trash the country music establishment that it was not her. But Parton is taking it seriously, according to USAToday:

"Dolly Parton says she is 'completely devastated' by a segment on the Howard Stern radio show featuring her voice discussing sex and other celebrities.

"The country performer released a statement Wednesday saying editing or trickery made it appear she was commenting on topics and celebrities including Kenny Rogers, Linda Ronstadt, Burt Reynolds and Johnny Carson.

"'I have never been so shocked, hurt and humiliated in all my life,' Parton said. 'In a blue million years, I would never have such vulgar things come out of my mouth.'"

More here.

A Little Of The Old In And Out



In: Sean Penn. His quixotic aside on Obama notwithstanding, the chain-smoking Sean Penn is, culturally, the man of the hour. And we're not just talking about his voluminous post-Robin Wright Penn "hookupage (Nemcova? Really?)."

But on to High Art. As the President of the jury of the Cannes International Film Festival -- an honor held previously by such heavyweights as David Lynch and Luc Besson -- the choices of the films presented revolve around his own aesthetic tastes. Since Cannes is the biggest film festival in the world, that makes him something of an alpha in international film swim. From the AP:

"Asked by a reporter if he could confirm that he had hesitated before taking the jury presidency because it means being 'wise and sober' for 12 days, the 'Into the Wild' director quipped, 'How many days have I got left?'

"Penn, a regular at Cannes, won the best actor award here for 'She's So Lovely,' and he showed his own movies 'The Pledge' and 'The Indian Runner' here. When Clint Eastwood's 'Mystic River' played at Cannes, it generated early buzz for Penn's performance, which went on to win an Academy Award.

"Penn wasn't all jokes and antics at Cannes — he also let his serious, thoughtful side shine through, urging reporters to see a documentary that the festival included at his special request."

(image via smh)

Out: P Diddy, Buffoon. Occasionally P Diddy is an amusing ass. A prancing media whore with fancy toys. Who can forget the image of Diddy, sprinting through the streets of Ibiza in a fur coat, still wet from the hot tub. And then there is the story of Diddy and Jamie Foxx spending $8,000 on drinks. His hammy, scenery-chewing performance in "A Raisin In The Sun" could just as easily have been titled "Ambition Run Amok." Now, this .. From the 3AM Girls:

"Has the credit crunch even hit P Diddy? We only ask because the music mogul is looking for - gasp! - sponsors to fund a big party on his yacht at this year's Cannes Film Festival."

Lame.



(image via msnbc)

In: Senator Joe Biden. Present Senior Senator from the great state of Delaware and -- please God -- future Secretary of State, Joe Biden got passionate in free-associating about lame-duck President George Bush's veiled attacks on Senator Obama. Worse: the President used the pathetic Lord Chamberlain/appeasement cliche (Is this the only History that conservatives have ever read about?). From Politico:

"Sen. Joe Biden, piling on to Democratic complaints about President Bush’s speech in Israel today:

"'This is bullshit, this is malarkey. This is outrageous, for the president of the United States to go to a foreign country, to sit in the Knesset ... and make this kind of ridiculous statement.'"

The good thing is that it unifies the party behind Obama, after a tough beginning of the week in the state-that-will-not-be-named.



Out: Unilateralism. You know that unilateralism has jumped the shark as a geopolitical strategy when a Machiavellian brooder like Henry Kissinger embraces "cooperation." Kissinger, who operates more out of the camp of Opportunism than either the Realist or Neoconservative schools of foreign policy, addressed the "Facing Tomorrow" presidential conference in Jerusalem yesterday. He appeared to be giving a nod to the popular Rise-of-the-Rest argument. One never quite knows where Kissinger exactly stands -- and that works to his political advantage, of course, as he can't be proven wrong -- but he stressed the two great global dangers as being the rise of fundamentalism and the proliferation of nuclear weapons. A key strategy for Israel would be to make sure these twin threats don't overlap. From Ha'aretz:

"The Nobel Prize laureate added that the Iranian nuclear threat, besides threatening to destroy Israel, is also an existential threat to the world and must be addressed internationally. He explained that as long as a nation is capable of developing nuclear weapons in defiance of the United Nations Security Council and major world powers, then nuclear capability will consequently spread into many other nations. He stressed that when groups such as the Security Council voice objection to nuclear weapons development, they must do so with specific instructions and a defined timetable, otherwise, the situation will only deteriorate.

"Kissinger also addressed the issue China's economic growth and the threat it poses to the U.S. hegemony on the world economy, saying that the issue must be addressed from the vantage point of future cooperation, rather than strategic competition. The world has changed, Kissinger said, and the theories of foreign relations that were valid in the past are now also changing. He cited the cooperation between the European nations within the framework of the European Union as an example of such successful cooperation.

"The former secretary of state also addressed the Israeli-Palestinian peace process, saying that it required both sides to be very brave. He added that it was impossible to move forward unless both sides know that a peace agreement is not the end of the road, but rather a starting point for future processes.

"It is imperative to maintain the kind of cooperation that Shimon Peres is cultivating, he said."

More here.

Media-Whore D'Oevres



(image via JT/NYSocialDiary)

"It’s interesting how movie people comport themselves when they come to Washington. Some put on glasses, as if to telegraph their owlish, educated side. Others wear serious clothing, most likely to be taken seriously but possibly also to show respect for the purpose of their visit, whether it’s a Congressional hearing or an appearance for a good cause ..There was a little bit of that going on at the Italian Embassy late last week, when Matt Dillon, Mia Farrow and Sam Waterston contributed some of their considerable wattage to the 29th Anniversary Dinner of Refugees International .. Of course, the sea of guests parted when Sen. Ted Kennedy arrived and made a beeline for a photo op with the Farrows, Dillon, and Waterston. He could not stay for dinner, even though he was one of two senators to be honored with RI’s 'Congressional Leadership Award.' The other was Republican Sen. Gordon Smith of Oregon, who attended with his wife, Sharon. Shortly after Teddy’s arrival, Ethel Kennedy appeared, sporting a glittering 'Obama 2008' pin on her left shoulder. She was happy to pose for a picture showing it off." (WashingtonSocialDiary)

"While tequila shots never surfaced, the margaritas were flowing at Los Dados Tuesday night, where Kim Vernon and Diego Garcia hosted a dinner for their friends following a sponsorship-free screening of Bella, the Alejandro Monteverde-directed romantic drama about how simple actions can alter the lives of people forever ... Alexei Lubomirski, just back from Miami and sporting a healthy tan, joined Santiago Gonzalez, Roberto Faraone Mennella and Amedeo Scognamiglio, Tito Pedrini, and Nina Garcia for the tearjerker, before they were joined by a second wave of guests in the Meatpacking District for several rounds of Mexican food." (Fashionweekdaily)

"On May 3, 1973, when murder and robbery rates were significantly higher than they are now, then-Governor Rockefeller signed the bill containing some of the harshest drug laws in the nation. Rockefeller, a moderate Republican, was, at the time, mulling a White House run and wanted to toughen up his country club image among the party's red-meat base. The Rockefeller drug laws have largely remained, despite protests from so many disparate organizations and individuals, because of law-and-order electoral realities at the local level." (Ron Mwangaguhunga/Kenneth Cole AWEARNESS Blog)

"The news of John Edwards' endorsement of Barack Obama was reported as Hillary Clinton addressed her top donors in her Washington, D.C., home today. 'It actually broke during the meeting, and I was passing my BlackBerry around when NBC confirmed it,' said one donor in the room. The reaction of the fund-raisers in the room was mixed, according to the bundler. Some people said, 'Shit, now we have to deal with this?'" (Observer)

"As it is the Latin American tradition, El Museo Gala’s fifteenth birthday will be celebrated in the style of a quinceañero; this is a coming-of-age party for a daughter turning fifteen. For this gala, guests are invited to wear white or black (with long gloves and tiaras optional) ... El Museo’s Gala (Thursday, May 22, 2008 at Cipriani 42nd Street) is New York’s most prestigious evening of philanthropy for the Latin community. Guests expected include Carolina Herrera, Francisco Costa, Christian Cota, Angel Sanchez, Donatella Versace, Michael Vollbracht, Diane von Furstenberg, Clarissa Bronfman, Agnes Gund, and Susan Gutfreund. " (Ticket Info/mbregman@elmuseo.org)

"Last night Charlotte Ronson and Chrissie Miller hosted an easy, effortlessly cool, sidewalk-stylin, gimmie-some-sugah party starring the Lower East Side. The shindig, sponsored by Svedka, took place at Bowery boutique Blue & Cream. I was pretty proud of myself, as Shoshanna Lonstein Gruss gave me permission to photograph her eating in public!" (Pics at Papermag)

"The Obama campaign seized on a section of President Bush’s remarks to members of the Knesset in Israel this morning, interpreting the president’s choice of words as a slap at the Democratic candidate on foreign soil. Senator Barack Obama himself issued a statement, calling it 'a false political attack' and an 'extraordinary politicization of foreign policy' ...In a telephone interview on CNN just a few minutes ago, Robert Gibbs, the communications director for Senator Barack Obama, called Mr. Bush’s remarks 'astonishing' and an 'unprecendented political attack on foreign soil.' He called it 'cowboy diplomacy.'" (NYTimes)

"New York City's Bowery Hotel was the place to be last night, especially for TV stars who needed a break after a rigorous few days spent promoting their new and renewed series at their respective networks' upfront presentations. And who better to host a TV soirée than Entertainment Weekly?" (EW)

"Daria 'Dasha' Zhukova, the impossibly glamorous girlfriend of Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich, having launched her fashion label, Kova & T, now wants to take the art world by storm. The 26-year-old former model is opening a gallery cum arts centre in the heart of Moscow. She has already secured the premises as well as some big hitters to help her with the venture: Molly Dent-Brocklehurst, formerly of the Gagosian Gallery in London, will become international director and Sir Nicholas Serota, director of Tate in London, will form part of an advisory council. Speaking to the Art Newspaper, Ms Zhukova revealed that the Centre for Contemporary Culture Moscow (CCC Moscow) will open in September with a retrospective devoted to Ilya and Emilia Kabakov, the artists' first in their native city.(It is rumoured that Amy Winehouse is being paid £1m to perform at the opening.)" (TheFirstPost)

"KCRW is launching a guest DJ series today with 10-minute sets programmed by Conan O'Brien, John Cusack, Garth Jennings and Jason Reitman." (WCRW via Papermag)

"What happens to the art market when other financial markets are suffering a grim credit crunch and liquidity crisis? It experiences an unexpectedly high volume of rich and varied gossip. Whisper campaigns about who is guaranteeing what for more than the high estimate, apprehensive speculation about foreigners’ taste in art, and fractious squabbles about the quality of competing 'masterworks' by the same artist punctuated the days leading up to Christie’s Post-War and Contemporary Art Evening Sale on Tuesday night. Against this background, the Christie’s team was methodically peddling forty-three paintings, eight sculptures, two works on paper, an installation by Mike Kelley, and a house designed by cult modernist architect Richard Neutra. They called it 'a smarter, tighter, sober sale, which accurately reads the market' .. Next up was Andy Warhol’s black and beige Double Marlon, 1966. Peter Simon, the British-based owner of fashion retailer Monsoon, was selling, and David Martinez, the Mexican megacollector, was said to have guaranteed. The auction house had thrown an over-the-top party meant to 'bring the cultural history of the painting to life' at the Soho Grand Hotel. Evidently, the marketing hoo-haw paid off. After a ping-pong of telephone bids taken by Christie’s Brett Gorvy and Ken Yeh, the work sold for $32.5 million." (ArtForum)

How Stupid Is West Virginia?



(image via wvculture)

Trailer logic prevails! This is what the mountain people, in flatus to be sure, call "The Goat's Rope (The Corsair uncorks a vivid Chardonnay)." By the way, did you know that West Virginia consistently ranks at 51st or near the bottom of states in education?

Poring over some of these West Virginia numbers is a true venture into trivilaity. For example, according to a CNN exit poll, 50% of voters said Obama's shares the views of Jeremiah Wright. Forget the fact that they now hate each other. Do they get cable or even talk radio there? One can only assume that they answered that exit poll through a mouthful of boiled peanuts. Ah, to be able to fathom the uneducated -- and uneducable -- mind (Averted Gaze).

The collosal level of Fucking Stupid prevalent in Appalachia is nothing short of goddam dumb-founding. Ponderous! For example, former Senator John Edwards, who left the race several months ago, got as much as 7 percent in West Virginia yesterday! Do they consume news in West Virginia ... or just possum! Did someone explain, very slowly, that Edwards was no longer an option? Are newspapers and internet access kryptonite to the residents of the mountain state? Or is that just salad.



Who needs a rod-and-reel when you've got 6-fingers? (image via proteinpower)

Cousin-loving notwithstanding (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment), let's not forget the mathematical near-impossibility of Senator Clinton ever achieving the nomination? Or the vaguely concession-ish videos the Senator from New York has sent to her donors. Little things like facts don't really matter, it seems, to a West Virginian with a belly full of moonshine and an eighth-grade education. It was a real Baby Boomer jump-the-shark moment, Hillary, surrounded by people who aint never gunna vote f'r the ni'gra. Nice, Senator .. Nice (The Corsair slyly shoots a glare of withering contempt).

They are a rebellious lot, never removing the Marlboro from their lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss their ass. They probably don't care that for the next generation, because of that "rebellious" vote, they are to be considered the nation's joke -- at home and abroad. God bless West Virginia, really and truly, they make such well-considered life decisions (Averted Gaze).

You do your thing, West Virginia you ... do ... your thing.

UPDATE: This is probably one of the more caustic Corsair blog posts of all time. It is aimed at the WV electorate that willfully voted for the doomed Clinton candidacy as a protest vote against electing an African-American President. It is not meant personally for every single inhabitant of the mountain sate.

Madonna To Build Girls School In Malawi



(image via celebritysource)

It is hard to say anything negative about Madonna building a school for underprivileged girls in Malawi. It is, clearly, a wonderful thing. But -- we're just saying -- it is, quite frankly, a derivative act. Hello: Oprah? And, cattily, now that we are on the subject: didn't Angelina Jolie also start the trend of Hollywood adopting African babies? And, yes, it is a wonderful, existential project,this adoption of young David Banda, but -- and don't get to upset at us for saying this -- it would also be magnificent if Madonna got in touch with her dormant creative energies and used her vast fortune and soft-power to do something original. From Reuters:

"U.S. pop diva Madonna plans to start building a multi-million-dollar girls' school in Malawi for underprivileged children this year, her local lawyer said on Wednesday.

"'A task force of four prominent Malawians has already been formed to head the project which will be on the scale of what Oprah Winfrey has in South Africa,' Madonna's lawyer Alan Chinula told Reuters.

"'It is a multi-million dollar project and we will get the real costs in the next two weeks.'

Again, we are not picking a fight with Madonna (who just did a wonderful thing), it just kind of feels awkward applauding Madonna on this blog when, in essence, she is borrowing some of the glory of media celebrities larger than herself.

A Little Of The Old In And Out



In: Nina Garcia. It never hurts to have powerful people talking about you. Oftentimes, it doesn't even matter what they say so long as you are a part of that conversation. Among the Chattering Classes Nina Garcia is a frequent topic of speculation. Some -- but not absolute -- finality today on the Project Runway partner and her previously nebulous future. From Fashionweekdaily:

"While both Hachette Filipacchi and Hearst remain mum on the fate of Nina Garcia, Fashion Week Daily has confirmed exclusively with a source involved in the negotiations that the former Elle fashion director has accepted an offer from Marie Claire and will join the title as fashion director in September.

"... As for the rumors that Marie Claire will replace Elle as a partner on Project Runway, they remain hearsay. 'There has been no update,' a spokesman for The Weinstein Company confirmed. At this point, Elle is confirmed for season five of Project Runway with season six undecided. 'Negotiations are just starting, if even that," said a source. Garcia's hire at Marie Claire is 'completely separate from Marie Claire's possible interest in Project Runway,' the source added."

Let the speculation begin anew.



Out: The Republican Brand. First: Cazayoux; Now Travis Childers, a Conservative Democrat, beat a Republican in Northern Mississippi! This is beginning to have "special House races" shades of 1974, when Democrat Richard Vander Veen won Gerald Ford's House seat in a special 1974 election.

For someone who was supposed to be so smart and wise in American history, Karl Rove's assy 51-49 governance strategy might end up one of the most laughable and nutty ideas ever. Yeah, a 51-49 split is "uniting," not "dividing (Averted Gaze)." The American constitution navigated necessary countervailing tensions such that our political leaders would almost always have to compromise in solving problems, thus weakening the possibility of concentrated power in s single branch of government. Rove, Ass, tried to circumvent that fundamental American wisdom. As a result of his failure, Rove may have doomed the GOP for a generation. From TheHill:

"The sky is falling on House Republicans and there is no sign of it letting up.

"The GOP loss in Mississippi’s special election Tuesday is the strongest sign yet that the Republican Party is in shambles