A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Kevin Bacon. The Corsair loves Kevin Bacon, quintessential New Yorker, the least stuck up of all the stars. Nary a month passes by without The Corsair seeing the Bacon clan shlepping around New York footloose and nondescript -- occasionally arguing like most essentially happy families -- but always sans entourage and wholly without pretention that acting is anything other than merely an artistic vocation with a higher pay scale.

To wit, Gotham Magazine, October 2004:

"Gotham: You've been playing with your band The Bacon Brothers. Do you have a personal theme song?

"Kevin Bacon: I don't have a theme song, but I do have different ringtones (on my phone). I have 'Purple Haze' as my general ring. When the kids call it's 'Stairway to Heaven,' and when (wife Kyra Sedgewick) calls it's 'Sexual Healing.'"

The bacon sizzles ...

Out: Shaggy, AKA Steve Kaplan. The Corsair is a little bit jealous -- okay, a lot jealous --that celebrity party crasher Shaggy gets into the pages of Page Six more often than himself, so, you'll excuse my playa hating. Today's Page Six says:

"THE doormen at La Masseria, the new Italian 'farmhouse' restaurant in the Theater District, must have been a bit blind the other night when ultimate crasher Shaggy was able to get into the eatery's opening-night party by posing as an 'NBA player rep.' But Shaggy, a k a Steve Kaplan, got caught by one of the owners who'd once had a run-in with the mischievous freeloader. "He was devouring gnocchi with truffles at such a rate that the waiters could not keep up with him," said a witness. Two large bouncers walked him out, removing him from such invited guests as Marv Albert, Capitale co-owner Seth Greenberg and porn queen Savannah Samson."

In late September, Page Six said:

"'It's uncanny how this guy invariably gets in,' said P.M. co-owner Unik. 'In preparation for tonight's Nicole Miller fashion show and party, we've been training the staff in Shaggy-spotting, Shaggy-surveillance, and Shaggy-removal. We're stationing guards on the skylights. If all else fails, we'll ask Gina Gershon, who's performing with her band, to kick his ass.'"

In: ODB, aka Big Baby Jesus. According to Jackass Steve O, in XXL Magazine, November 2004:

"Steve O: When I was in LA County Jail on a seizure warrant for stapling my balls to my leg, I was charged with obscenity. I was in jail in protective custody on what they call The Robert Downey Block and had just gotten this big portrait of myself tattooed on my back and the deputies were giving me boxes of cookies and told me that I was in good company. They listed all the celebs that they'd had there and said, 'ODB is in here all the time; you're actually in his cell.' I was so psyched to find out that I was cellmates with ODB."

Out: DMX. In the same interview with XXL:

"XXL: What rappers dig you?

"Steve O: XZibit was probably the most excited to meet me. I had this one encounter with DMX where I don't think he enjoyed meeting me at all. He was wearing his big diamond pendant and he had like missing diamonds in it and I was like, 'What's up with that?' And he was like, 'You know how it goes,' and I was like, 'Yeah, you'd think that a big rapper would just leave that one home and bring out one of the other ones that weren't missing diamonds.

"XXL: Rappers really aren't known for a sense of humor.

In: Slightly batty designer Donna Karan (okay, really, really batty designer Karan) is so crezzy, according to British Vogue:

"DONNA KARAN's people sent Gwyneth Paltrow a bottle of the new Delicious scent when they heard that she was referring to her daughter Apple as 'a Golden Delicious.'"

Out: New Agey Psychobbabble. Okay, once and for all, ladies and gentlemen of the jury -- it's not okay to engage in New Agey psychobabble even if you are from LA and especially if you are a man. No more. Please. You're harshing on my mellow.

This blind item from LA.com:

"That hot, sexy, in-demand guy makes barrels of moolah for acting up in high-profile movie and stage projects. His career (and rippled bod) may be red hot these days, but when it comes to his offscreen life? Not so much. The latest in a long line of famous and not-so-famous girlfriends just dumped him for pretty much the same reason every other girl does: He?s a big, whining wuss who bores women silly by, among other things, constantly bludgeoning them with annoying New Age-y psychobabble about how they?re 'invading his space,' 'stifling his spirit,' yadda yadda yadda. His latest flame got so fed up with his touchy-feely shenanigans that she dumped him during the party after the premiere for his latest blockbuster, announcing loudly enough for anyone within earshot to hear, 'If I wanted to date a woman, I could find one a hell of a lot hotter than you.' Snap!"

The Corsair would have guessed Jude Law, but someone of the LA.com board says Jake Gyllenhaal, which seems equally plausible. Give your guesses here.





"Steve O: Yeah. I guess that's not what you point out when you meet DMX."