Thursday, February 08, 2007

The Mating Rituals of Russell Simmons

(image via juicymagazine)

Russell Simmons is in heat (The Corsair stifles a quiet yet dignified dry heave). Newly freed from the adamantine chains of marriage to that obnoxiously materialistic dingbat Kimora Lee Simmons (The Corsair makes a Dismissive gesture), his unfettered Metrosexuality (Eew) is in Full Flower under the fetid hothouse canopy of The Tents (The Corsair sips Muller Catoir Gimmeldinger Schlosse). In the moist darkness that lies therein, Russell's blooming like a mushroom (Eew) To wit, "The Mating Rituals of Russell Simmons". From Radar:

"Australian model Miranda Kerr has earned herself a few famous fans. At the Betsey Johnson show on Tuesday, the 23-year-old Victoria's Secret babe traded in her wings to open 'the Betsey Johnson School of Charm' collection, earning her a big grin from model-loving hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons.

"As Kerr reached Simmons's front-row perch, the Phat Farm chief proceeded to fan her with his hat, provoking a show of dimples and a serious blush from Kerr, a Serbian-Turkish-Philippino sylph who has a whiff of Kimora about her. After the show, Simmons was heard boasting into his cell phone, 'I'm sure she saw me!'"

That's one of the signs of Russell being in unmitigated heat. He sex forces him to speak into his cell phone loudly. At public events. There might be a gossip columnist around, y'all. And, from the NyDailyNews, witness this shameless peacocking display of disgusting voodoo:

"Def Jam founder Russell Simmons is a nice guy. So nice, in fact, we hear he showed up more than an hour early to the Rock & Republic show at Cipriani on Saturday, and made friends with the models backstage as they dressed. We hear Russell continued his niceness by focusing his attentions on three models. After the show, we hear he was nice enough to give the three girls a ride in his limo. 'He went backstage after the show to congratulate the design team,' a rep told us. 'He ended up taking a couple of the models back to the after-party.' Hmm."

Yup .. Russell's ripe.

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