The Decline of The West



(image via wikimedia)

Oswald Spengler's deeply melancholy tome Decline of the West was largely correct and chock full of compound German words that describe societal disintegration. So prescient, he; so pessimistic, us. The evidences of Spenglerian decline are everywhere. Do you think George Kennan fought the Cold War armed with New England gumption and steel in his sphincter so that people could gorge themselves on haggis? Do you think such decadence is a symptom of the progress of Imperial Decline (Averted Gaze; Dismissive wave)? We're thinking of Rome, the Empire (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment), not the oh-so-saucy HBO series. Whatever the case, we are one short step away -- as a people -- from televised gladiatorial deathmatches (Oh yeah, that's already on Spike TV; our bad). From those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"SPIKE TV is the new home of competitive eating. The male-targeted cable network, known for its Ultimate Fighting broadcasts, has inked a deal with Shea Baer Productions to air quarterly one-hour Major League Eating specials starting March 17. The barf-inducing spectacles of men and women stuffing various foods down their throats will be hosted by George and Richard Shea, the public relations brothers who turned the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest into an international phenomenon. The specials will feature Japan's Takeru Kobayashi and noted East Village gurgitators Crazy Legs Conti and Eater X."

Good to know that as people starve in Haiti, the poorest country on the continent, "Crazy Legs" Conti can stuff beyond his fill of Rocky Mountain Oysters down his gullet to the mindless cheers of The Bubbas (Averted Gaze).