Thursday, June 29, 2006

Daryn Kagan to GMA?

(image via cameroncole)

Earlier in the week we sympathized with Daryn Kagan, who "dated" Rush Limbaugh (Eew). We'd hoped that his fetish for that little blue pill -- Viagra -- didn't coincide with her time with the gasbag. No one should have to endure prolonged lovemaking from Rush Limbaugh, no matter how ambitious to get to the middle of the tv news industry(Averted Gaze). It appears Daryn's Herculean labors did not go unrecognized by the higher powers.

According to TVNewser:

"Is Daryn Kagan on ABC's short-list for a new Good Morning America co-host? An e-mailer says 'Diane Sawyer is practically out the door,' so 'Kagan is being considered for both the newsdesk and the host spot...'"

Is Diane Sawyer being sincere, or is this simply another instance of "poised, creamy insincerity"? Granted, Sawyer wanted the World News Tonight anchor desk (And, paradoxically, she wanted Charlie Gibson to have it as well.)Badly. Diane was born to be the ABC Evening News anchor. She would be better at it than Gibson.

But in the end she didn't play hardball.

Just saying.
Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

Tyson Beckford: Last of the Fro-hicans. (image via wireimage)

Charlie Sheen stays in shape by powerwalking round the grounds of the local Catholic girls school. Often. (image via people)

According to House rules and because of rising interest rates, the going rate for a "tossed salad" in this club is a pack of smokes and a Guinness. (image via thecobrasnake)

Revenge of the nerd. (image via justjared)
Pharell Williams' Gay Shakedown

(image via michaelballard)

Pharrell Williams, best known for being unable to keep up with the sexual appetites of Jade Jagger (see: The Corsair wouldn't have that problem), has issues. Allow us to enumerate. According to Fashionweekdaily:

"Pharrell Williams appreciates women of all shapes and sizes and men of all sexual orientations. A note, however, to the dapper dandies: don�t get too close to him while he�s working. At Sunday night�s highly anticipated GQ bash toasting the spring 2007 collections, a gaggle of well-dressed industry and PR types of the male persuasion convened at Umanitaria and its outdoor garden for a special concert by the fashionable artist�and star of the fall Louis Vuitton ad campaigns.

"The boiling temperature must�ve gotten to Williams, because he allegedly asked his bodyguards to start asking the men in the audience to step aside and to start bringing in more female guests. 'Apparently there were too many men surrounding Pharrell,' said one female attendee. 'Everyone�s been talking about it. It was a gay shakedown.'"

In the immortal words of Bob Segar, "Break-down take down you're busted."
Jean Claude Van Damm Is Not an Ass

The muscles from Brussels tussels. (image via televize)

This item is from Popbitch, so you can take it with a grain of salt. But it sounds about right. Jean-Claude Van Damme always appeared to us to be destined for the lower, oilier rungs of the international entertainment food chain. He lacked charisma, a discernible talent, taste, a passing familiarity with the English language, and, oh yeah, charm.

But then, in the mid 90s such a gaping personality vacuum made for the perfect candidate as a "action film star." What can we say, the genre was moribund. (For further reference: see Schwarzenegger). But by the 21st century the JC van D franchise was exhausted.

While we waited with baited breath for the PR announcement of Van Damme's inevitable appearance on Britain's D-List "Big Brother (Averted Gaze)," this happened. According to Popbitch:

"Jean-Claude Van Damme was at the annual Indian film awards, hosted in Dubai, last week. He wore a bright pink suit and a funny-looking waistcoat. The best thing was that years of gak abuse and martial arts have left him with a wonderful nervous tick. He keeps doing little kung-fu kicks, apparently totally unaware that he's doing it. It was especially funny when he did it on stage, while presenting an award to screen legend Amitabh Bachnan."

No no no. That's just his Craft. His Method. We fully expect JC Van D, in the fullness of time, to announce that he's been rehearsing for an Elvis biopic. Hollywood loves a good redemption story.
Kate Moss Cops To Being Stupid

Who wears Short-Shorts?(image via ezoutletshoppingmall)

Kate Moss made it hip to wear short shorts when inhaling the booger sugar (Averted Gaze). Now she's backtracking off the catwalk, distancing herself from the hoovering sounds she once made with her nose. According to the 3AMGirls:

"IT has been nine long months since she was caught snorting coke but only now has Kate Moss finally admitted: 'I've been a stupid girl.'

"After the Mirror exposed her for hoovering up 20 lines in 40 minutes, the catwalk queen eventually issued a statement apologising for the incident.

"... In a poem (in Pete Doherty's notebook), she reveals that she cried over his addiction to drugs, saying: 'You love them more than you love me. So that's why I could cry all day long, that's why I can't breathe.'"

(Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) Perhaps said 20 lines of Bolivian Marching Powder in 40 minutes had something to do with that respiratory obstruction? I'm just saying. More:

"Kate, 32, has also had to be more selective about her friends. She revealed that since the scandal, she has found it harder to know who to trust. And, though she has dated a string of men this year, including Russell Brand and Anthony Rossomando, she actually confides in gay guys.

"'I love my gay friends most, I now know they are the safest.'"

And she should. Had one been present they never would have let her go on camera in shortpants.

Menudo remains the template for all past, present and future "boy bands." They patented the synchronized fancy-dancing interspersed with angelic jailbait harmonies. Plucked from obscurity in Puerto Rico, the members of Menudo took the world -- especially junior high schools -- by storm in the 80s. The rule was that when your voice descended into manly you were kicked out of the band. Michael Jackson, reportedly, took photographs of the band at the height of their fame *The Corsair shudders*. Then there were the pedophilia rumors that were never substantiated.

Pederasty notwithstanding, it was all good.

When Ricky Stratton tried to impress "Consuela" -- Averted Gaze -- on that significant 80s artifact Silver Spoons, his toy baron father colonized the band Menudo for his own private birthday party. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)"See Consuelo," intones Schroeder with all the sangfroid of British East India frontier constabulary in a Joseph Conrad novel, "I told you they'd show up." :

On the far left, grinding like a little monkey, we cannot fail to note, is a prepubescent Ricky Martin.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

Janice Dickinson, formerly of the jet-set lifestyle, presently living the Jet Magazine lifestyle. (image via wireimage)

His grocery list includes milk, arugula and edible Catholic school girls uniform. (image via people)

Offhand, we'd diagnose a daily spoonful of Cod Liver oil. Maybe a glass of port before bed just to be sure?(image via thecobrasnake)

Is this really "Bazaar" as all that? We cannot fail to note that she had chicken fingers at her wedding reception. (image via justjared)

Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams vie for the distinction of World's Oiliest Legs. (image via wireimage)
Was Madonna a Courtier?

Giddyap, little hoe-sy. (image via nypost)

We somehow imagined at this point in time Madonna, after exhausting all the permutations of self-invention, with her bulbous cache of "Hasselhoff monies," would be living a scandalous, whispered-about existence in Morocco. Or, we could imagine her financing socially inappropriate films in Mallorca. Something along those lines.

But no. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachement)

Madonna instead settled for the dreams of every marginally intelligent member of the American bourgoisie: The English country house and the attendant lifestyle. How delightfully ... common.

The eminent sociologist VF Calverton called such behavior as indicative of a "colonial complex," or, applying the highest class significance to a previous colonizer (King George's Britain). That may explain in part why those significant cultural artifacts, Soap Operas, are lousy with Brit accents.

Here Madge takes a break from her studiously uninteresting life to catch up with Liz Smith, who, in turn, is taking a well needed break from salivating in print over Rachel Weisz and Julianna Moore.

According to Liz Smith:

"Liz: There's a major equestrian theme in this show, yes?

"Madonna: Yes, I love horses. They are the most beautiful creatures I think I may have been one of Henry the VIII's knights in another life, riding through the great forest."

First of all, there's nothing about Madonna that suggests the Courtier. Courtesan, yes; courtier, no. Sir Thomas Moore mais non, Dinty More, si.
Powerballad of the Day

Powerballads are Metal's way of saying, Yes, yes, I worship The Great Beast, but I have a tender heart. Even The Desolate One cannot conjure up a salve to remedy the broken heart. So true; so true. Here:Don Dokken, bloated, earnest, soulful:

The same can be said of hip-hop light, or, as we like to call it, "hip-pop." Biz Markie, easily the funniest rapper in the world, turns down the intensity -- even going so far as to croon on a goddam piano -- about his very own broken, cholesterol clogged heart:

Oh .. he's just a friend ..

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

The Tragedy of Russo-American relations

(image via wildlife-conservation)

The land of Tolstoy and Tchaikovsky is, to be sure, more West than East. Longtime readers of this blog know well our alarm over the Bush Administration's handling of Russo-American relations. We expected an old Russia hand like Condi Rice to exert a moderating influence on the silver-haired Cold Warriors at Defense reveling in rubbing the now-vulnerable Russian Bear's face in the fetid mud of the river Volga. (The haunting, melancholy sound of an antique 19th Century Swiss music box) Perestoika dismantled the former Soviet Union with astonishing velocity. Even Gorbachev couldn't have predicted the centripetal forces of History. The paranoiac KGB was, no doubt, gigantically vulnerable. And .. we kept our cowboy boots at the supine neck of the Russian Bear. Sweet.

An opportunity to bring Russia to the West has been lost for at least a few generations.

Two noteworthy essays -- one by Steven Cohen in The Nation, and another by Dmitri tenin in Foreign Affairs -- read side by side (one Progressive, one Right-of-Center) bring out the bitterness of the tragedy.

From Tenin:

"The Kremlin's new approach to foreign policy assumes that as a big country, Russia is essentially friendless; no great power wants a strong Russia, which would be a formidable competitor, and many want a weak Russia that they could exploit and manipulate. Accordingly, Russia has a choice between accepting subservience and reasserting its status as a great power, thereby claiming its rightful place in the world alongside the United States and China rather than settling for the company of Brazil and India.

"The United States and Europe can protest this change in Russia's foreign policy all they want, but it will not make any difference."

Now, Cohen:

"Petrodollars may bring Russia long-term stability, but on the basis of growing authoritarianism and xenophobic nationalism. Those ominous factors derive primarily not from Russia's lost superpower status (or Putin's KGB background), as the US press regularly misinforms readers, but from so many lost and damaged lives at home since 1991. Often called the "Weimar scenario," this outcome probably would not be truly fascist, but it would be a Russia possessing weapons of mass destruction and large proportions of the world's oil and natural gas, even more hostile to the West than was its Soviet predecessor.

"How has the US government responded to these unprecedented perils? It doesn't require a degree in international relations or media punditry to understand that the first principle of policy toward post-Communist Russia must follow the Hippocratic injunction: Do no harm! Do nothing to undermine its fragile stability, nothing to dissuade the Kremlin from giving first priority to repairing the nation's crumbling infrastructures, nothing to cause it to rely more heavily on its stockpiles of superpower weapons instead of reducing them, nothing to make Moscow uncooperative with the West in those joint pursuits. Everything else in that savaged country is of far less consequence.

"Since the early 1990s Washington has simultaneously conducted, under Democrats and Republicans, two fundamentally different policies toward post-Soviet Russia--one decorative and outwardly reassuring, the other real and exceedingly reckless."

Greatest Martial Arts Film Ever

On Channel 5 in NYC, when The Corsair was a tiny pirate, we used to have a show called "Kung Fu Drive in Theater." The best one was "The Five Deadly Venoms." Serious bad ass shit. When that came on, it was on like Gray Poupon:

Or, close second the extraordinarily sanguinary "Killer From Shantung" (whose last fifteen minutes are particularly gruesome):

Blind Date From Hell

"Loves Life" is Craigslistese for "Chickenlady:

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

Schools in session: Lex Luthorish thug Harvey Weinstein hips Kevin Spacey on the character motivation of a Lex Luthorish thug. (image via wireimage)

We cannot fail to note that the potato chip being consumed is "Lays." (image via thecobrasnake)

Cinematic jinx, LL Cool J. Two words: Entirely Undeserving. (image via wireimage)
Naomi Campbell: Still Punchy After All These Years

Cavalli crowd eats up Naomi. (image via newsoftheworld)

Plus sa change, plus le meme chose
. Just as Naomi is set to get a plea deal to walk over cold clocking one maid with a crystal covered blackberry, another maid says Campbell beat her servile ass over not being able to find the right pair of jeans. (Averted Gaze) Naomi Campbell, the punchiest supermodel of them all, also got a bit confused at the Cavalli men's show in Milan. Says Fashionweekdaily:

"The first rule in catwalk strutting: unless otherwise told, always retreat back to the top of the runway at the conclusion of your walk. Someone should�ve written that on Naomi Campbell�s palm Wednesday evening, when the supermodel opened and closed Roberto Cavalli�s men�s show on the scenic Ponte Vecchio bridge. After she reached the end of the 'runway,' which was nothing more than the actual street serving dual purposes, Campbell inadvertently took a wrong turn and walked straight into the crowd of uninvited gawkers and local residents, much to the horror of front-row guest Bianca Jagger and the Cavallis. Security feverishly rushed into the mob of people, which had, like a vacuum, sucked Campbell into the crowd like a mosh pit, and plucked her out."
Rush Limbaugh's Unauthorized Viagra

Enhanced missle ready for deployment. (image via aol)

Dis-fucking-gusting. Rhetorical gassbag Rush Limbaugh sex life should be, to paraphrase Hobbes, "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short." (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) The man sweats broth. Anyone ambitious enough to "tap that ass" in order to advance their career should be spared excessive degragation. Unfortunately, the pharmaceutical advancement fucks the whole shit up. Viagra can be evil in the wrong sweaty hands. From CNN:

"-- Rush Limbaugh was detained for about 3 1/2 hours at Palm Beach International Airport after authorities said they found a bottle of Viagra in his possession without a prescription."

Let's hope that this Hideous Alchemy arose -- no pun intended -- after the Daryn Kagan entanglement. Otherwise, we send our deepest condolences to the ambitious CNN anchor.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Fame Tv Show (France)

Bring this show back (in English), please -- especially with that frosty Cello player, Julie:

Your Friends Will Be There When Your Back Is To The Wall ..

Holly Robinson Peete brings the jazzy with her significant rendition of "21 Jump Street." It's "saucy":

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

Still waters run Depp: Or, Why Johnny Won't Take a Bath. (image via wireimage)

How many times does 83 go into 44? (image via NYSocialDiary)

Oh it's on; it's on like Gray Poupon it's so on... (image via thecobrasnake)
Stallone and Schwarzenegger Quiver


Eskimo Brothers? (Eew)(image via vrtnieuws)

This item kind of freaked us out. We needed some down-time to smooth our heads out after reading it. According to our favorite Superhero gossip duo Rush and Molloy:

"Movie musclemen Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone quivered and caved after getting calls from a supermarket tabloid, a private investigator claims."

Can you imagine what a Stallone-Schwarenegger quiverfest might entail? A broth of babboonish musk assaulting our nostrils. Bitch tits oscillating wildly. The gobs of over-mantanned flesh -- jellyish -- marinating in the breeze, the spraying of hot oil (duck!), and, of course, liberal run-off of desicated beef liver tablets? (Averted Gaze) They continue:

"A National Enquirer reporter boasted that she got a one-on-one interview with Schwarzenegger, now the governor of California, after editors threatened to run a story on rumors that he slept with Brigitte Nielsen. The two co-starred in the 1985 leather-kilt epic 'Red Sonja,' and Nielsen married Stallone five months after the film's release."

And, if memory serves, Stallone all but broke off his friendship with Eddie Murphy when the his boozy Nordic bride was ensorcelled in rumors of a BevCaop2 on-set fling with the tranny chasing knucklehead. Murphy vehemently denied the rumors but -- as we learned later -- 'Gitte is not averse to a helping of ... "dark meat." More:

"Turns out the reporter herself was being recorded by a writer at The Globe, Jim Mitteager. 'That's how I got Schwarzenegger,' The Enquirer scribe crows on tape.

"Stallone later had his own problems with the paper. The Enquirer reporter is heard to say that Stallone handed over personal information after the paper obtained nude photos of him taken from the set of 'The Specialist,' a steamy thriller co-starring Sharon Stone."

Run! Stallone grease fire! (image via okladki)

What's the street value on Stallone nude pix? And -- more to the point -- do they include images of the *alleged* Stallone pump (See: June 24, 2004 entry)?

Enquiring minds, and all that.

Steamy is kind. Oily would be more accurate.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

M. Knight Versus Harvey

(image via stars2go)

Quien es mas macho? We'll go with the labyrinthine M. Kinght Shyamalan in his brewing feud with the exquisite darkness of Harvey Weinstein. Getting into bed with Harvey (Eew), as many Hampton starlets will tell you, is a Kafkesque experience (Eew). Degrading, but also transformative. Business is no different. Big Harv will suck the creative juices out of an artist and discard the corpse on the side of the road (for further reference, see: Gwyneth Paltrow and Penelope Cruz, former Harv Golden Girls who could Do-No-Wrong). According to those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"Shyamalan .. zaps Harvey Weinstein for re-editing his 1998 release, 'Wide Awake.' 'Why is he doing this?' he asked a Weinstein aide. 'Because you're not an A-list director,' the flunkie answered."

Why does Harvey fuck up artistic films during the cuts? Dear, brilliant, M Knight: That's like asking the scorpion why did it sting the frog halway to the shore. It's just in his disturbing nature. One simply holds out for the Director's Cut DVD to have your say. That's all one can hope for when hopping in the sac and doing business with Weinstein.

"According to (The Man Who Heard Voices), 'Night swore that no matter how desperate he ever became, he would never make another movie for Harvey.' A Weinstein rep said in a statement: 'M. Knight (sic) has always been a good sport and provided great material for spoofs in our 'Scary Movie' franchise.'"

Sweep the leg, M. Knight.
Pharrell Breaks Boycott

(image via lagerfeldentertainment)

The hip hop boycott of Cristal started by Jay Z, it appears, isn't being heeded by Pharrell "Jade Jagger's Too Much Woman for Me" Williams. According to the 3AMGirls:

"GNARLS Barkley had no intention of going thirsty after their set at the 02 Wireless Festival in Hyde Park, London. The duo reserved �30,000-worth of champagne and beer at Soho club Umbaba for their arrival.

"Pharrell Williams went even further with his re quest. Along with the usual Cristal and models, the rapper ordered �200-worth of Bathing Ape street wear."

If a sexy MILF like Jade Jagger could "wear him out (Averted Gaze)," then, of course, he'd have trouble with the stamina needed to sustain a boycott. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)
James Spader, Reptile

James Spader here at his most compellingly reptile. Look for him 'neath a smooth rock. The best scene is when he spits on the gymnasium floor after "Docky" jumps him from behind. Best remembered for the heartless "Rip" in Less Than Zero. Freak!:

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

She's safe because she's naught else but a bitesize morsel at best to a ravenous Tyson. (image via thecobrasnake)

"We will remember ... Whenever we remember... The way we were...." (image via wireimage)

Sometimes when Jude Law is bored, he mentions Salma Hayek to Sienna Miller to watch her turn puce. (image via justjared)

And they were MAD FLOWING, too, until he started singing Luther Vandross in a vibrato. (image via thecobrasnake)

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Is He or Isn't He?

Hmm.(image via sportsillustrated)

Is Dr. Ian Smith a "friend," or is he a ... "longtime companion." Frankly, we're vexed. What precisely does Jean Strahan mean by an "alternative lifestyle"? Is she speaking of whips-chips-chains-dips, or is she alluding to something -- how does one say it? -- along the lines of a moist "Midnight Express" scenario? It's all gravy with The Corsair, whatever one does: Just -- the silence is killing us. From today's NYPost:

"Gap-toothed Giant Michael Strahan says he'll never marry again.
The sack king, in the midst of his second bitter divorce and reeling from a remark his wife made about his 'alternative lifestyle,' discussed his marriage and his sexual preferences yesterday during a brief phone call to WBLS/107.5 FM radio personality Wendy Williams.

" ... Strahan's on-air call to the station came while Williams was interviewing his good friend, TV commentator Dr. Ian Smith.

"Strahan's wife Jean dropped a bombshell Tuesday - telling reporters that after her marriage fell apart, her husband moved in with Smith and the two enjoyed an 'alternative lifestyle' together. Asked if Smith was his best friend, Strahan told Williams, 'he's one of them.'

Here's The Corsair's favorite part:

"After his radio show call, Strahan, wearing a long-sleeved white T-shirt and shorts, jogged from his Greenwich Village apartment to the nearby apartment of Smith's twin brother, Dana, a fashion executive, and the two continued on to the Crunch gym on Christopher Street.

"They split up briefly when a Post photographer approached."

Jesus, guys. "Fashion executive," "Christopher Street," "shorts." Were there, like, Sweeney Todd tickets in his back pocket? What are you really trying to say? (NYPost)
Gemstar/TVGuide Buys JumptheShark

Arnold, Dudley and Mr.Horton about to play, "Neptune, King of the Sea" (image via houseofdiabolique)

Before there was JTS, there was no central hub for people to discuss, say, the "Facts of Life" episode when Tootie Ramsey nearly became a "Lady of the Night." Or, say, the Very Special "Diffrn't Strokes" where Arnold's pal Dudley was "touched." Or, for that matter, the eccentric script decision for the cast of "What's Happening" to attend a Doobie Brothers concert. Those days of free-flowing conversation may, or may not, be about to change. According to Paidcontent:

"This is in line with trying to make into a community-driven site: its parent Gemstar-TV Guide International has acquired TV community site for an undisclosed sum. The site is named after the infamous episode of Happy Days which featured The Fonz attempting to a jump over a contained shark while wearing water skis (the exact moment the show went downhill, according to many fans)."

Let's see what happens.
Picture Pages, Picture Pages

Tom Cruise's elaborately constructed heterosexual facade crumbles when someone plays Bananarama's Cruel Summer. (image via socialitelife)

"The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be ... unnatural." (image via wireimage)

Nicole Ritchie enumerates the altoids she has eaten today, constituting breakfast and lunch. (image via wireimage)

We'd frankly recommend a robust multivitamin and some exposure to the sun, but that's just our unlicensed opinion. (image via style)
Has Hasselhoff Jumped the Shark?

(image via ariped)

We know, we have been obsessed by David Hasselhoff of late. Can you blame us? That rich voice, with its meaty, full-bodied texture, alighting the seedy German pop world. And that massive cranium, with it's rather severe perm. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) Hasselhoff embodies the Triumph of the Soap Opera Face.

Further, With all his "Hasselhoff Money" he really doesn't need to work, yet still he does. Howeever poorly. According to Popbitch:

"We've been David Hasselhoff cheerleaders for years but we fear perhaps the joke has gone too far. From being a washed-up drunk, the Baywatch star has made an amazing comeback, landing TV and stage roles plus a new record contract but all the love seems to have gone to his head."

We're not going to touch that. Low hanging comedic fruit, and too easy besides. Enough has been said about the massive hunk of cheese that is the Hasselhoff head. It continues:

"Dave's ditched the wife and kids and any attempt at post-rehab sobriety and is instead roaming the world in a 'Don't Hassle The Hoff' t-shirt. He was recently booked for Google's summer party in Berlin. slurred his way through a set of pop songs but couldn't remember the words to his new release Jump In My Car so Google staff had to write them down and tape the sheets of paper around the stage."

The idea of The Hoff roaming the world with his big head like Cane in "Kung Fu," singing bubblegum pop, crunked up on the brown juice strikes us as in equal parts worthy of a very special "Behind the Music," and nourishment for a summers worth of meaningful blogging.

The summer's just begun, folks
The Decline And Fall of Dan Rather

(image via cbsnews)

As TVNewser so acidly reminds us, isn't it curious that the magnificent implosion of Connie Chung so resolutely parallel's the end of Dan Rather? And nothing quite spells the absence of clout than having one's name boldfaced next to Alyssa "Teen Steam" Milano. According to those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"DEPOSED CBS anchor Dan Rather seemed to be enjoying his newfound freedom at Destino on Tuesday night, just hours after announcing he was finally leaving the network. Despite the sour words he and CBS have exchanged, Rather was described by our spy as 'in great spirits.' He clinked champagne flutes with his wife, Jean, and accepted congratulations from fellow diners Rocco DiSpirito and Alyssa Milano, who told Rather to order the meatballs."

From the White House Press Room to flowing with Alyssa Milano. "Charmed," I'm sure.
Is You Is or Is You Aint My Baybe?

You know this is the best cartoon ever:

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Why Rahm Won't Run

(image via ilgop)

Turbo thumoeideutic former ballet dancer and hyper Democratic booster Rahm Emanuel won't seek a second term as head of the DCCC. According to TheHill:

"Rep. Rahm Emanuel (D-Ill.) will step down from the House Democrats� campaign operation after the November elections to spend more time with his family, he told The Hill yesterday.

"Emanuel has been a leading strategist, fundraiser, cheerleader and recruiter for House Democrats as chairman of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC) since the beginning of last year. His uncommon pairing of cunning efficiency and profanity-laced outbursts has won him both plaudits and opprobrium, but nearly all Democrats concede that he deserves substantial credit for their rosy election prospects this year.

�'I served one term, and my kids are all at a certain point. They�ve had it,' Emanuel told The Hill.

"... Emanuel�s comments came just as the DCCC was releasing its latest fundraising total. The DCCC raised $5.5 million in May, slightly behind its rival, the National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC), which raised $5.6 million. The Democrats finished the month with $24.5 million on hand, compared with $21.9 million for the Republicans."

But should the Democrats win the House come November, he is considered a solid contender for Speaker of the House. Rahm is, curiously, the brother of Ari Emanuel, the equally superaggressive Los Angeles poweragent parodied brilliantly by Jeremy Piven on "Entourage."

Their parents must have encouraged robust argument at the dinner table. And galactic ambitions.
The Late, Great Robin Harris

The Corsair misses Robin Harris:

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ..

You've got big dreams, Colin Farrell? You want fame? Well, fame costs. And right here is where you start paying. With sweat." (image via justjared)

The accoustics within David Hasselhoff's giant pumpkinhead lend a richer, meatier tone to his powerballads. (image via wireimage)

Charmed, I'm sure (image via thecobrasnake)

Famous for being naked Jenny McCarthy trades in her ex-C-List director hubby to exchange body fluids with Jim Carrey, a veguely A-List actor. (image via justjared)

Janet Jackson's new single has been known to induce violent projectile vomiting (image via thecobrasnake)
Lindsay Lohan Versus Sean Combs

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting. (image via bbc)

We've always thought that reports of P Diddy's alleged street cred have been exaggerated. We remember, for instance, when he ran into the mean streets of Ibiza -- like a bitch, we cannot fail to note -- for fear of a raid that never was. (Averted Gaze) Apparently, the man -- and we apply that noun lightly here -- needs a thug bodyguard with "the rib busting ox-strength" to take care of the saucy Lindsay Lohan. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) At a Prince concert. Shouldn't the vibe be one of funky mauve lovingkindness at a Prince ceoncert? According to those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"At a private concert by Prince at Butter last Friday, when Lohan got up to argue with Paris Hilton over Stavros Niarchos, Puffy and his posse squeezed into her table. 'There were only like six tables,' a witness says. 'Everyone was sharing, but Lindsay refused and began mixing it up with Puffy. His bodyguards came over and picked Lindsay up to get her out.'"

We can almost hear the rapid intake of oxygen followed by the broken sqeak ("this is what it sounds like ... whn doves cry") as her feet levitate off the club floor:

"A member of Diddy's camp confirmed, 'Lindsay was being so loud and obnoxious. His security became concerned and came over to escort her away.'"

Pity. A Lindsay Lohan bitchslap might have been therapeutic for Diddy. Smoothed him out a bit.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Carson Daly Productions? WTF?!

Portrait of the Punk Ass as a Young Man. (image via forbes)

Grated, we worry about the bleak future of tv comedy writers -- reality tv, the rise of teledramas -- especially as we would love to do that one day. New opportunities for sitcom writers are to be praised. That having been said, we read this from Paidcontent with abject horror:

"�Crazed fan� Brooke Brodack harnesses the power of YouTube: Carson Daly Productions signed Brodack to an 18-month overall programming development deal�it�s believed to be the first time a recognized Hollywood firm has established formal ties with one of the homegrown (and mostly young) talents on YouTube."

While we congratulate Ms. Brodack (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment), we cannot fail to note that if a talent-challenged manorexic lik Carson Daly has his own vanity tv production house, there is something vaguely insidious about the state of the entertainment businbess.
The Land of the Lost

Waking up early Saturday morning as a child to watch:

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ..

The blinding speed with which Janice Dickinson hikes up her skirt and contorts herself into the international "Easy Access" position suggests more than a passing familiarity with The Craft of sodomy. (image via wireimage)

"--But what I really want to talk about is Habermas.(image via wireimage)

Charles Askegard, Candace Bushnell's Bitch, in full regalia (image via style)

Hey, Sarah Jessica Parker, Why the long face? (image via wireimage)