Friday, April 29, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out

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Above: "A poised, creamy insincerity" (image via MSN)

In: Diane Sawyer, Living the Perfect Life. "Poised, creamy insincerity" notwithstanding, Diane Sawyer's pimphand is strong. (The Corsair ruefully rubs his cheek, the recent victim of an unprovoked Sawyer backhanded bitchsmack)

These, however, have not been the best of times for The Today Show. The ratings of their "arch competitors," Good Morning America, are surging. Alessandra Stanley damned Katie's shapely gams in the pages of The Old Gray Lady. The blog thing didn't fly. GMA's ambitious bookers are booking all the most important "gets." Fortuna smiles lovingly over Diana Sawyer, lavishing upon her a fabulously successful and intellectually respected husband, and now, the distinction as being The Lady Who Stopped the Today Show Juggernaut. And now, according to those bewitching Page Sixxies:

"Meanwhile, over at ... 'Good Morning America,' Robin Roberts is about to be named a co-host along with Diane Sawyer and Charlie Gibson. And it looks like 'GMA' may have another ratings-winning installment coming up.

"While 'Today' staffers are filming in Las Vegas this week at Steve Wynn's new hotel, Sawyer and 'GMA' producers are in Africa with Brad Pitt.

"'No one could believe their good luck,' said our insider. 'GMA went to Africa to interview Brad about his charity work and AIDS relief efforts and he brought along Angelina Jolie -- and there are no publicists around. Who knows what they are going to get, but either way, it will be Brad's first interview since his split from Jennifer Aniston and it's going to be good.'"

What luck. It almost makes us want to forget the whole Diana serving the extremely salty Chili to her associate producers for an unfortunate 20/20 story on sycophancy. Almost.

Out: Larry Dobrow. Come on, Larry Dobrow. Come online and play. It's no fun slapping you around if you don't fight back. Don't be a little bitch. You wrote the nasty story, The Corsair responded. Grind your axe in full view of the public and face me like a man (The Corsair rolls up his sleeves). Come on -- Let's dance.

You can reply to my email address or scribble a little something sweet and lovely in the comments section, if you like. I promise not to edit out a single word.

In: Tina Fey, Expecting. Our favorite head comedy writer is "with harlequin." According to the Dish:

"This just in: 'Saturday Night Live' comedian-writer Tina Fey is pregnant. The baby is due in September, People magazine reported Wednesday. It will be the first child for the "Weekend Update" co-anchor and her husband, 'SNL' composer Jeff Richmond.

"Fey will remain at the NBC show's fake news desk with co-anchor Amy Poehler through the end of the season. She has been head writer at the show for five years."

(The Corsair hoists a glass of Chateau D'yquem) Congratulations.

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Out: Tinsley Mortimer and Fabian Basabe. This ubiquitous social dyad is omnipresent. Omnimoisturized. But have you ever seen the two of them together at the same time? Is Tinsley Mortimer the party-going superheroine than Fabian Basabe longs to be in his confused heart of hearts? Our favorite social chronicler, David Patrick Columbia unearths this rare photo (above) from Tartan Week. We report, you deride.

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In: Roberto Cavalli. Because his flow is off the charts (The Corsair sips D'yquem). Because he wouldn't even appreciate the gesture. (The Corsair wolf-whistles) Because we cannot hope to navigate the unfathonable depths that are "Cavalli." That, and His mantan is inscrutable (The Corsair nods approval). All hail Cavalli, the hungry man's Lagerfeld. As Fashionweekdaily reports:

"The Cavallis headed down to sunny Florida for a fashion extravaganza at The Shore Club's Skybar beach pool. At one point, when Roberto, who was partying with guest Pharrell, went backstage as the fashion show was going on, 50 Cent's song, Candy Shop started blasting. And when the lyrics mentioning his name came through the speakers, all the models began dancing around him and cheering him on."

(The Corsair says the following with a false Belgian accent in his sleaziest, circa 1977, coked up disco voice) So chic.

Out: Katie Coric. Katie can't catch a brake can she? First, Alessandra Stanley issued "the pimp slap heard round the blogosphere" in the august pages on the Old Gray Lady. Then the Page Sixxies report that she is obscuring major "gam-action" by hiding behind a potted plant. So, to lighten up her Diva-characterization just a wee, Katie wishes out loud for something ... homey. Country 'bama assed. And even that failed her, alas, according to the Anchorage Daily News:

"After 'Today' show host Katie Couric exclaimed on air Tuesday morning that she'd love to visit Alaska to catch a salmon, Anchorage Mayor Mark Begich issued an official invitation and Tenth & M Seafoods donated two smoked Cook Inlet sockeye fillets to whet her desire."

You can whet it ... (The Corsair says in a whisper) ... but you can never "forget it" (The Corsair moistens his lips and winks at "His Katie" on the tv screen) Or, uh, so we're told.

"Friends of Animals faxed a letter to Couric on Wednesday, urging her to join a national tourism boycott over the state's predator control programs and hunting policies, said Susan Russell, the group's information officer."

You ever just have on of those weeks? Katie is.

In: Miu Von Furstenberg. The Corsair has the bestest blogwife. Miu Von Firstenberg is witty, "sessy" and has my back. And we laughed out loud in Bryant Park when we read on the screen, "I fucked Ann Coulter in the Ass Hard. Okay. I think someone has way too much time on their hands." Thank you, Miu for being Miu.

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