Monday, April 25, 2005

The Arianna Huffington World Domination Tour 2005

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(A truly disturbing image via Madison.com)

Dahlink, it's Arianna's world and all just live in it, no? (The Corsair lights a Gauloises Blondes Lights and contemplates the indeterminate dyadic structure of Plotinus' Enneads) And in lower tax brackets, no less. (Averted Gaze) One can almost hear those dulcet Greek tones purred into our ears, seductively, beckoning like the dark Ionian Lyre.

Arianna is a Siren, leading celebrities to be dashed upon the wet black rocks of her glorious gem-like evildarkness. *The Corsair shudders at the sheer "sessiness"*

Odysseus -- that ancient hero of many ways -- knew how to handle such a situation (Any situation, or "heropass," really). Were Odysseus of Ithaka "Arianna'd," (A derivative of "Punk'd," but instead of being adolescently pranked, the victim's soul is consciously sacrificed as kindling for Arianna's vast political-cultural ambitions) he'd stop his ears up with melted wax, rather than be coaxed into the jagged shoreline like so much of the hoi polloi, rendered inconvenient flotsam. According to the Old Gray Lady:

"(Huffington) has lined up more than 250 of what she calls 'the most creative minds' in the country to write a group blog that will range over topics from politics and entertainment to sports and religion. It is essentially a nonstop virtual talk show that will be part of a Web site that will also serve up breaking news around the clock. It is to be introduced May 9.

"Having prominent people join the blogosphere, Ms. Huffington said in an interview, 'is an affirmation of its success and will only enrich and strengthen its impact on the national conversation.' Among those signed up to contribute are Walter Cronkite, David Mamet, Nora Ephron, Warren Beatty, James Fallows, Vernon E. Jordan Jr., Maggie Gyllenhaal, Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr., Diane Keaton, Norman Mailer and Mortimer B. Zuckerman.

"'This gives me a chance to sound off with a few words or a long editorial,' said Mr. Cronkite, 88, the longtime 'CBS Evening News' anchorman. 'It's a medium that is new and interesting, and I thought I'd have some fun.'"

Oh goody: A longwinded, 88 year old Walter Cronkite editorial. Artie "Will you presently get me a bib for my drool" Schlessinger on the folly of the James Buchanan Presidency (zzzz) -- oh, happy 3AM on C-Span joy. And, the article continues, there will be the "token conservatives" -- cough, starfuckers -- bused into the lower Manhattan loft (with National Guard troops patrolling, no doubt, to prevent rioting):

"... Some conservatives have also signed on, among them Tony Blankley, editorial page editor of The Washington Times, and David Frum, the writer who coined the phrase 'axis of evil' when he was a speechwriter for President Bush."

Then, Katherine Q Seelye allows some healthy skepticism to intrude on the tea party:

"(Former executive vice president of AOL Time Warner, Kenneth B. Lerer) said the Post, which will generate revenue by selling advertising space, was being financed initially by him, Ms. Huffington and 10 others he identified as 'friends and family.'"

They will be referred henceforth and hereafter in The Corsair blog as, "'Sugarmommies' and 'Coolbreeze Blog Poppa's'":

"'... The bloggers will not be paid,'" join the fucking club, cheesecakes of TheHuffingtonReport; this is for the love. And, the ilicit blog groupiesex in the Apple store on Prince Street (Observer columnists, did you get that?).

"Group blogs are not altogether new; what is new is brand-name people writing them. But it is just this aspect of the Post that is raising questions among Web watchers about whether it can succeed. Jay Rosen, who writes about blogs on his Web site (http://www.pressthink.org/), said he doubted that celebrities would be driven by the same passion that drives many regular bloggers.

"'These aren't exactly people who lack voice or visibility in our culture,' he said in an e-mail message. 'Gwyneth Paltrow has no incentive to speak candidly and alienate future ticket buyers."

Oh, The Corsair doesn't know -- that whole cupping thing (Averted Gaze), then naming the baby after a fresh fruit (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) seemed vaguely career-suicidal in a call for help, Harvey-Weinstein-doesn't-love-me-long-time -anymore kind of way:

"Barry Diller doesn't have time to hunt down juicy links for his readers. And where does Jon Corzine fit into any conversation those two might be having?'"

Rosen has a point. Jon Corzine running hard for Governor in filthycorrupt Jersey -- the most astonishingly hardball state in the Union -- on the blog, will be about as revealing as a Dita Von Teese strip tease. Which is to say: not nearly revealing or "satisfying" enough (Champagne glass bath, notwithstanding). But we'll still be glued to the site, staring supinely up at Arianna with our characteristic gaze of wonderment at all-things-Huffington. And The Corsair giving them a hard time, with all due snarky blog-love. No less could be expected of us.

NYTimes on The Huff.

4 comments:

Elayne said...

It is extremely important that people go to CBS's website and view the snapshots from the movie Rosie is in (Riding the Bus or something). You will laugh out loud, I promise. Laugh at, that is, not with.

Ron said...

link: http://www.cbs.com/specials/riding_the_bus_with_my_sister/

Bubbles, Ink. said...

Whoa, that is big news RE: Arianna's blog contributors. David Mamet? Mailer? Schelsinger? Holy shite!

An aside here: I worked w/her on Chris Mathews' show between '95-97. She was a wonderful, kind, and compassionate woman who would bring in her angelic little blonde girls to every taping. I've always appreciated her as a human being, no matter what her politics were. Or mine.

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