Friday, April 22, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out

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Above: Play "Count the bones on Melissa Berkelhammer's clavicle." (We count "6" so far) All the swishy people are doing it.

New posts form The Corsair daily: here

In: The Padma Lakhsmi/Miehle Party. The incredibly sexy Padma Lakhsmi was everywhere this week. God, she's hotter than a curried lamb pullao. (The Corsair pours himself a "naive" glass of Chablis) Salman Rushdie is a lucky man. At her party, Fashionweekdaily writes:

"The Padma Lakshmi and Carlos Miele-hosted event was being billed as a top-secret after-gala party at the Hunt Slonem Studio. Rumor had it that the guards were Naomi Campbell?s usual protectors; too bad she was being f�ted uptown at hotspot 58. But regardless, the 'intimate' crowd of several dozen, who arrived in suits and evening gowns from the Tribeca Film Festival, First Annual Pen World Voices International Festival, and even the H&M fashion show/concert, received midnight tours of the 50,000 square foot studio on the Lower West Side ?unheard of were it not for some cajoling from Hunt?s brother, columnist Jeffrey Slonem.

"?... 'I think there are 89 rooms here, but my brain isn?t large enough to picture that,' laughed Melissa Berkelhammer, who wore a fire-engine red Miele gown. 'When I was filling out the loan card to borrow this dress, under purpose, they put, ?SSHHHHHHH!!! Part ".??

Charmed, I'm sure. (Averted Gaze)

Out: That Cat Lady. That Joyce Wildenstein is an "odd egg" goes without saying. (The Corsair marvels at the presumptiveness of his Chablis) She marches to the beat of a different drummer. She watches channel zero. Like Tara Subkoff. (Averted Gaze) How else does one characterize an individual who surgically alters their face -- albeit to make her ex husband happy, who promptly dumped her -- to look like a cat. A motherfucking fucking feline, people. Meow, hello?

Why aren't there branches of abnormal psychiatry devoted to her. Anyway, according to the Page Sixxies, she's having a little "work done" on her pool:

"The surgically altered siren and (Lloyd) Klein are staying at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel and house-shopping in Beverly Hills and Bel Air. Wildenstein is having the deeper pool put in her East 82nd Street digs so she can dive, we're told."

A nip here a tuck there. We thought cats hated water, though.

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Above: You do your thing, Elizabeth Stribling .. you .. do your thing.

In: Elizabeth Stribling. Says our favorite social chronicler, David Patrick Columbia in NYSocialDiary:

"Stribling & Associates, Ltd. one of New York?s premiere residential brokerage firms started in business in 1980 with eight residential brokers. Two weeks ago they celebrated its 25th anniversary with a gala evening of disco dancing harkening back to the glory days of John Travolta?s movie Saturday Night Fever at The Manhattan Penthouse. The firm, serving the highest echelons of the Manhattan residential real estate, now has over 185 brokers.

?'Over the past 25 years Stribling & Associates has become known for its dedication to serving buyers and sellers of Manhattan?s finest residential properties with unparalleled service and expertise,' said Elizabeth Stribling, founder and president. Mrs. Stribling is widely respected as an active participant in many New York charitable and civic associations. She is a board member of the Central Park Conservancy and Landmark Conservancy as well as the Real Estate Board of New York. She was also a recipient of the Real Estate Board of New York Henry Forster Memorial Award for dedication to the community and industry accomplishments."

Congrats Elizabeth Stribling, you go get your dance game on, player.

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Out: Cameron Diaz. The Corsair has never really been a fan of Cameron Diaz. Even during the heyday of "There's Something About Mary," when it was all-about-Cameron we never fell for it. We never wanted to go there or "hit that." *The Corsair shudders*

For one thing, there is something decidedly "shrill" about her. Lurking under the surface we feel is something quite cruel and dark and nasty, we think. Call it Corsair-intuition, but that's the distinct vibe we get. Now, according to Rush and Molloy:

"No lady guards her boyfriend more fiercely than Cameron Diaz, or so says porn star Gina Lynn.

"The star of 'Deviant Behavior' and many titles unprintable here says she was hanging with Justin Timberlake at a recent 'Saturday Night Live' after-party, when 'all of a sudden Cameron Diaz came up to me and put both hands in my face and waved goodbye and yelled at me, 'Bye-bye, get the [bleep] away from him!'"

Granted, a porn star is the last person you want cavorting with your significant other, but there's no need to publicly humiliate someone already quite out of place at a show business function, especially when Diaz already out-ranks Lynn by a factor of, like, 1,000. Gina Lynn was no threat. She just thought she was.

One can almost feel the cruel show business laughter at the poor porn star's expense in the restaurant. Lorne Michaels snickering, Maya Rudolph chuckling, that sort of thing. It must have been nasty. That's kind of a witchy and unnecessary thing to do. There's ... something about Cameron.

1 comment:

lickher said...

I would love to count all of Melissa's bones,from her clavicle to her toes.