Monday, April 18, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out

symposium0

In: Bob Kerrey For Mayor? Clearly, that band of luckless C-Listers tripping over their own feet in the New York City Democratic Party race for the Mayoralty -- Ferrer, the tepid Dinkinsesque C. Virginia Fields, the impossibly ambitious entity unfortunately known as Weiner, that affable goldenboy Gifford "Giff" Miller -- are headed for as severe ass-beating as ever witnessed at the hands of pseudo-Republican Mayor Michael Bloomberg, and his untold millions of dollars. Apparently, former Nebraska Senator Bob Kerrey is weighing his options before putting a toe into the tepid pool. According to the Village Voice blog:

"If he makes good on his 'I'm just crazy enough to do this' threat, Bob Kerrey wouldn't be the first famous guy to run for mayor of New York. Teddy Roosevelt did. So did one of the founders of The Village Voice, Norman Mailer. They both lost.

"If Kerrey decides to run, or even if he just takes a few days to let us know that he won't, the speculation this week is going to turn to what he brings to the race?i.e, whether he can avoid the fate that befell Teddy and Norman. He certainly brings a big name: He did run for president in the '92 Democratic primary, when he elevated the health care issue well before Bill Clinton picked it up.

"And he has a good bio: Medal of Honor winner, governor, and senator?heck, he was even once married to Debra Winger."

All good virtues and fine for a New York Mayoral race. We really don't give a fuck where you come from, cause, well, everyone here came from somewhere else, unless your native language is Algonquin.

mossy

Out: Pete Doherty, Manwhore. Apparently, according to that significant cultural ... well, to be honest: ultra-downmarket tabloid rag, NewsoftheWorld, Kate Moss' fiance was a thieving manwhore (Ed Note: Breaking off an occasional piece of the "sweet ass" doesn't necessarily make one a bad person):

"'I was working in a bar, selling drugs, working on a building site, writing poetry in the graveyard shift at The King's Head and I was sp**king off old queens for, like, 20 quid. I did it a couple of times, yeah."

Yeah (soulful sigh). Not that we've know! (Nervous, Averted Gaze) Frankly, it's not so much the indiscriminate smoking of the "crack rock," or the obnoxious use of asterisks (Averted Gaze), or even the ungainly usage of the colloquial "quid," that invites our opprobrium and taketh us aback, so much as the scribbling of poetry. Motherfucker! Free verse, iambic tetrameter or not, man, poesy is some fucking ill-ass-shit. Get with the 21st century!

"'I remember once being taken back to this mews house in Chelsea, right old ****ing badger he was.

"'It was a bit daft actually. As he slept I locked him in his room, tied a pair of trousers over his head and nicked all these American dollar bills out of his drawer."

"Without a hint of shame at his revolting crime, Doherty then joked: 'He's probably still there, with a ****-on, listening to Classic FM.'"

(The Corsair earnestly contemplates "Classic FM," but comes up dry) Kate Moss might, like, reallyreally want to rethink this whole "marriage-to-a-badboy" thing.

PEOPLE_NUGENT.sff_NY110_20050417131041

Out: Ted Nugent. This creepy hunter *allegedly* prefers his prey on the "Spring Chicken" side. We'll opt for minimalism on the snark side on this post, due to the sensitive subject matter (more on which later). According to the AP (link via Drudgie poo):

"With an assault weapon in each hand, rocker and gun rights advocate Ted Nugent urged National Rifle Association members to be 'hardcore, radical extremists demanding the right to self defense.'

"Speaking at the NRA's annual convention Saturday, Nugent said each NRA member should try to enroll 10 new members over the next year and associate only with other members.

"'Remember the Alamo! Shoot 'em!' he screamed to applause. 'To show you how radical I am, I want carjackers dead. I want rapists dead. I want burglars dead. I want child molesters dead ...'"

But what in Ted Nugent's fevered, predatory, Werewolvish "mind" (loose terminology) constitutes "child molestation"? What about the allegations made on the Howard Stern Show last March that Ted Nugent engaged in oral sex with Courtney Love when she was 12?! We'd like to know. Really, we would. "The Nug" never returned The Corsair's repeated emails on that one, nor did he respond to a Page Six story that ran on the subject last year. The silence is deafening.

In: The David Lynch Weather Report. Cinematical notes today:

"Taking a page from underground cine-godfather George Kuchar, director David Lynch has started doing a daily video weather report on his website. The clips change every morning and don't seem to be archived, and they're short and take forever to load, and they seem to be Southern California-specific - but there's still something a little magical about watching the director of Eraserhead, in his trademark neck-clenching button-down shirt, calmly announce,'Today in Los Angeles, it's about 70 and sunny ... '"

My MacDirectory interview with David Lynch

Way "Out" (Two snaps): Jim McGreevy. And what's the former Governor of Jersey up to? According to Rush and Molloy:

"Since coming out to his state and his family as a 'gay American,' former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey has certainly been making headway with the powerbrokers of the gay community."

Tee-hee they said "headway." Further: McGreevey brought political activist and writer David Mixner, whom Newsweek once named 'the most powerful gay man in America,' to Harold Evans' Mideast peace panel at Michael Jordan's in Grand Central last week.

"'We are working on writing an oral history of poverty in America,' Mixner told us." Tee-hee; they said "oral." But we digress: "'It will be a magazine piece, but right now it's on spec. We're traveling all over, down South and West Virginia.'" Tee-hee, "Down South."

In: The Daily. Fashionweekdaily.com often appears to have "spywitnesses" everywhere. Shhh. For example, check out this scoop:

"... Designer Jeremy Scott just starred in his first feature movie, Wassup Rockers. Directed by Larry Clark (Kids) and co-starring Janice Dickinson, the film follows a motley crew of skaters who spend a crazy day in Beverly Hills. 'I play a fashion photographer,' Scott informed us ... I fall down a staircase and get impaled by a sculpture of a cherub�s arrow.' Ouch! Love hurts. Scott, who sprained his wrist filming the scene, says that dying on camera was an emotionally painful experience. 'I was crying afterwards. I had to take a half an hour after filming and just be by myself.'"

"Me" time. So suave. We too have those moments, and at such times we lock ourselves in the bedroom with a copy of Suetonius and Percocets and some "chewy" Moroccan Shiraz.

Lots more scoop here. And here.

Out: Meg Ryan. This image comes from my magnificent blog wife, Miu *heart flutters* (link via Wowreport via EZBoard):

untitled

It needs a caption. It fairly begs out for one. Please help it find a caption. "You've Got Stale"? "When Droopy Met Sloppy?" "Slipshod in Seattle"? "Top Done"? "Restoration"? "Hanging Down"?

3 comments:

dParker2.0 said...

I can't think of a good one just yet, but it seems to me that Meg is slowly morphing into Diane Keaton... which is really odd, when you look at it, because they look nothing alike at all; but in this picture, she immediately brought Diane Keaton to my mind; all she needs to complete the transition is a Land's End turtleneck.

Ron said...

And a book on "clown Art." I think it's the plastic surgery gone awry ...

MarchingOrders said...

Great article. On the New York mayor front -- I just wanted to mention that we also have first-hand coverage of yesterday's candidate forum at Marching Orders. Feel free to stop by.