Thursday, June 03, 2004

No Makeover for Tony Soprano

Ah, that significant cultural artifact The National Enquirer, because enquiring minds want to know, gives us some broiling, icy-hot scoop today on James Gandolfini, he who so aggressively breathes as he eats his Gambino-style Veal Chops Milanese (what's with Gandolfini and that aggro breathing? Is that Stanislavsky?):

"FUGGEDABOUDIT! In what's gotta be the dumbest freakin' move ever made by reality TV, those 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' queens suddenly invaded 'The Sopranos' set and -- with cameras crankin' -- chirped cheerily at hairybear bossman James Gandolfini: 'HI, there! Ready for your makeover?' That's when all HELL broke loose, say insiders. Turning bright red with anger, Gandolfini snarled, 'Get the f--- away from me!' When his message didn't immediately register in the Queer Ear, Gandolfini exploded! "WHO THE F--- LET YOU IN HERE?" he shouted. 'TURN THOSE F----N' CAMERAS OFF . . . NOW!' Finally reacting to their star's outrage at the on-set ambush, 'Sopranos' producers -- who'd allowed the 'Queer Eye' invasion thinking Gandolfini would be amused -- quickly started shooing The Gay Gang toward the exit. Boss of All Bosses stormed off to his dressing room fuming, and refused to return until he'd been guaranteed there wasn't a Queer Eye in sight!"

What is it about tough guy roles that, when successful, turn the actors into the characters that they play? Is it the fact that actors have a fragile, perhaps nonexistent sense of self and the commercial and critical success gives him/her an option at selfhood? Or, maybe I'm just getting way too thoughtful about an ass.

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