A Little of the Old In and Out

I actually made my work deadlines a little early -- a first, so -- as the deeply misunderstood Alex from A Clockwork Orange might say, hows about "a little of the old In and Out"?

In: I love the smell of a rapper gone buck wild; it smells of ... shenanegans. According to Page Six, 50 Cent showed that he's like school on Saturday ... (altogether now, dear readers) ... no class:

"... 50 spotted former friend Bang 'Em Smurf, who was seated in the front row, and threw a wad of cash in his face in response to Smurf's claim that 50 owes him $150,000. Police in riot gear broke up the resulting scrum between 50 Cent's posse, G-Unit and Smurf's crew."

Aw, Fitty, smurf's are only three apple's high. That's not right.

Out: Tootsie Heinz Kerry. As her son, Chris Heinz, the most eligible bachelor in America, plays hide the katsup with Helen of "Troy" (note to ladies: "Chris Heinz is hosting a fashion friendly fund-raiser for his stepdad John Kerry July 12 on the Hotel Gansevoort's rooftop"), his mother, Theresa, is taking some hits. Par for the course, I suppose.

In: More rappers and their shenanegans, we can't get enough. We'll file this one under: DMX and the Case of the High End Urban Doggiewear. Rapper DMX is in the dog house over a breach of contract with -- get this -- a (makes quotation marks with his fingers into thin air) "high end urban dog wear company."

(The Corsair chuckles softly)

According to the Miami Herald: "Michael Rovell, lawyer for Amusing Diversions, said the company signed DMX last June and paid him $15,000 to help sell leather jackets, bubble jackets with fur trim, sports jerseys and other high-end 'urban' dog wear."

DMX got the gig because he had recorded some well known "doggie awareness" spots. Little did the folks at Amusing Diversions know that DMX had made the spots not out of the kindness and compassion of his heart -- nooo:

"DMX pleaded guilty to ... cruelty charges in 2002 after officials found 14 pit bulls living in filthy conditions at his New Jersey home. He was fined and ordered to do the ads."

Let me guess: the 15 large has already been spent?

Out: The Waterboy: Adam Sandler Wipes Out. Water boy Adam Sandler, according to that significant cultural artifact the National Enquirer, "was the one in stitches after a surfing accident in Hawaii sent him to the hospital with his head split open."

Ouch!

"'Adam had a major wipeout on the first big wave he tried to catch, smashing his head on his board,' said a friend. Sandler had been working on his latest film, Spanglish, for the last four months when he decided to fly off to Hawaii for a vacation.

"'You could hear the thud when the board connected with his skull. His head cracked open and blood spurted into the water.

Luckily for all involved that said skull was filled with only hot air. Kidding!

Anyhoo: Fifteen gnarly stitches later, Sandler was up and out of the hospital, but couldn't go in the water for the rest of the trip.

Totally Barney.

In: And speaking of pickleheads, Keanu Reeves is a bit of a hero today. According to that significant cultural artifact the National Enquirer, Keanu Reeves was in a drive by, but kept a level head:

"Whoa! Gunfire ripped through a neighborhood grocery in the early morning hours, shattering windows as people screamed -- and shopper Keanu Reeves reacted like it was a live-ammo version of 'The Matrix'! The action star hit the deck, yelling at panicked customers: 'GET DOWN!' Everyone stayed plastered to the floor . . . and the gunshots finally subsided."

Why didn't he take the blue pill?

Out: Tom Delay, according to TheHill.com:

"Retiring Rep. Chris Bell (D-Texas) is planning to file an ethics complaint today against House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas), who spearheaded a redrawing of the Texas congressional map that cost the first-term lawmaker his seat.

"The complaint is only the third filed against a House lawmaker since party leaders rewrote the chamber�s rules in 1997 to prohibit outside groups from filing complaints with the ethics panel, known formally as the House Standards of Official Conduct Committee.

"The new complaint follows a month of concerted activity by a self-described ethics coalition, a network of mostly left-leaning good-government groups that has tried to spur lawmakers to pursue more vigorously allegations of wrongdoing by their colleagues."

And, always in: Michael Musto, who is the Gothamist interview today.

"Gothamist: Do you feel television gives us the most out of Musto?

"(Metro TV), actually, gave me a really good venue, whenever I could get a word in. The Gossip Show on E! was also a great forum because we got to write our own items and perform them with some flair. But when you do talking head appearances for cable shows, they're generally cut-and-paste jobs that only give a choppy hint at what you can do. (But they're still fun to do.) Live TV gives you a much better chance to shine. The immediacy of it is potentially terrifying, but it also forces you to walk the high wire and sometimes sparkle. My favorite live show to be on these days is Countdown with Keith Olbermann on MSNBC because he has a great, knowing tone and gives you a whole segment on which to deliver your own goods, rather than have to scream against some family values council member for two seconds. I don't even care if anyone watches."

But you must read today's interview with the ultrahot Executive Producing team of Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato, who, among other things, did Trio's excellent Flops 101: Lessons From the Biz (and having Illeana Douglas narrate a documentary on failure added just the right dash of irony).

Be sure to check out my new gig. We'll see how it goes.