Friday, June 25, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Rick James. From an interview with Jamie Foxx in the July 2004 issue of Stuff Magazine:

"Rick James lives right down the street from me. He came to my house, he braught these girls with him, and he broke my bed. He was like, 'Yeah, Jamie, watch this!' He jumped on my bed and broke it. I'm such a fan of Rick James that I was just like, 'I don't care, man. Break the shit out of that mothafucka!' Rick James is hysterical. He gived you a window of when Hollywood was really Hollywood, the 70s shit, sex, drugs and rock and roll."

Out: TheSmokinggun came up with some really twisted freaky stuff today. Very disturbing, very David Lynch:

"While seated on the bench, an Oklahoma judge used a male enhancement pump, shaved and oiled his nether region, and pleasured himself, state officials charged yesterday in a petition to remove the jurist. According to the below complaint filed by the Oklahoma Attorney General, Donald D. Thompson, 57, was caught in the act by a clerk, trial witnesses, and his longtime court reporter (these unsettling first-hand accounts will make you wonder what's going on under other black robes)."

Read the whole filthy little document here and then take a cool Visine eyebath.

In: Zulkey interviews Slim Goodbody, AKA John Burstein, a figure of androgynous happy fun joy from my childhood:

Zulkey: What did you do pre-Slim?

Slim: I did some acting in NY � way off- Broadway. I studied dance in Belgium, and dramatic literature at University.

"Zulkey: Has the bodysuit evolved over the years?

"Slim: Yes, I�ve had about a dozen or so. The painting gets better. I�ve added things like the diaphragm and changed the background colors a bit.

"Zulkey: What do you do to stay slim for the bodysuit?

"Slim: Swim, do aerobics, ride a bike, lift weights and eat right. I try to work out regularly."

Out: I'm thoroughly enjoying Clinton's My Life, but, after reading the Larry McMurtry New York Times blow job, I'm not quite sure we are reading the same book, like when he says, lost in love:

"Had Clinton become our Balzac, working all night at his office up in Harlem, with haggard gofers bringing in pizza, Chinese, ribs, whatever the Midnight Scribbler wanted? Could there even be a copy boy, making his last appearance in history, waiting to rush these pages down the street to Knopf?

"One of the appealing things about Bill Clinton, at least to literary types like me, is that he frequently reminds me of authors or their characters - for instance, there's Thomas Wolfe, the big ghost from the other side of the South. Bill Clinton looks homeward often, to laud his angel mother, Virginia Kelley. But why stop there? You can have Clinton as Gulliver, pricked by the Boss Lilliputian, Kenneth Starr; you can have him as Tom Jones, eternally seeking his Dad; you can have him as L'il Abner, wooing his Daisy Mae in the unlikely purlieu of Yale Law School; though to his gnatlike cloud of enemies he will always mainly be the Artful Dodger, the man they're convinced is getting away with something, even if, as is often the case, they can't figure out what."

Clinton's bio, as I read it -- and I'm about 300 pages in -- is a new kind of bio, a Boomer bio of an American President. This is an extraordinary happening. Clinton tells us things that no President could ever imagine telling us because of the generation out of which he has emerged, and because of the remarkable times where we live, now, as the unchallenged global superpower (Muslim Fundamentalists be damned!). This new phenomenon is, alas, not broached by McMurtry in his review, as he is so caught up in the act of performing what essentially amounts to a sloppy literary blow job. It doesn't work. And we, the readers of the review, are so much the poorer for not having that topic adressed.

In:'s special Learning Annex correspondent (Is that Our "Hendry" the Intern, again?) covers Damon Dash's lecture. I've always wondered about the internal politics of these things. I mean, how does it work? What manner of man would attend something so obviously silly and self promotional as a Learning Annex lecture by some artless pseudo-celebrity?

Apparently, the people willing to shell out the $50 are trying to slip the celebrity a resume in the process, or at least plead their case. Sounds yucky, tricking a celebrity to get some quick cash only to spring the musk of Young Manhattan Ambition on them. Not just Young Manhattan Ambition, but Young Manhattan Ambition that does not know the proper protocol for applying for a job, or getting that demo listened to. But then, in a way, The Learning Annex doesn't say -- now is not the time to pitch your tv show to Regis, he just wants to make some quick pocket change and not be accosted. No, the folks at The Learning Annex never say that ... it might cut into their bottom line.

Anyhoo: As you can imagine, Damon Dash, a thug-entrepeneur, who tells us during the course of the report that he wears the "iciest" watches, wasn't having any of this impromtu social advancement rally:

"Somewhere around this point there was a near-complete breakdown in order, owing almost entirely to the Learning Annex's poor planning. The microphone was being handled by a meek, small girl and she was taking questions, which virtually everyone had, in no discernible order. Finally, one guy started yelling, 'Can we just put a microphone in the middle and we line up because I don't even know how she's picking?'

"The crowd went crazy. There was total chaos for a few minutes and somehow out of it all this really big guy, who said he was a rapper named Solomon, got the microphone, telling the guy who had just freaked out, 'She ain't dissin' you homey. If you'd listened to what the man said. You would've just taken it for yourself,' to a general sarcastic rumble from the house.

"His 'question': 'I just want to let you know that there's one person here who understands you.'"

Never underestimate the creative character of Young Manhattan Ambition, in fact, The Corsair is planning on bottling a batch and selling it over eBay ... or something.

Out: I see white people! The United States Senate dress like plantation owners. Ought the Congressional Black Caucus to break into a spirited impromptu rendition of "My Mammy"?

Kidding. (The Corsair flashes a devilish smile)

In: According to A Fly On The Wall, "Steven Spielberg's Dreamworks studio has begun developing a movie thriller about a Washingtonienne-like character who becomes ensnared in a coverup and CIA-sanctioned assassination of a critical congressman, according to several screenwriters approached to pen the script.

"Unless you've been spending all your time buying tchotchkes on eBay, you probably followed the online adventures of the pseudonymous Capitol Hill hottie named Washingtonienne who blogged about her various sexual escapades involving bigwigs inside the Beltway.

"Spielberg's studio began developing the project after learning about the real Washingtonienne's very public expose and subsequent firing a few weeks ago.

In the Dreamworks film version, a Capitol Hill nymphette blogs anonymously about her Congressional sexcapades. When she annoys one too many powerbrokers, however, rogue CIA operatives frame her for a whistleblowing congressman's murder, and she must go on the run while simultaneously trying to prove her innocence and expose the real killers. "The movie will have a Enemy of the State sort of frantic pace and intensity," according to a Dreamworks internal development memo."

Crazy. Read more here.

Out: According to Wonkette, and we don't ever doubt her, "Chicago news outlets are reporting that Jack "Swing State" Ryan is dropping out of the race, leaving the field open for his hotter, less plagued by monumentally bad judgment competitor."

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