Corsair Exclusive: The Corsair Interviews New Jersey
After several frustrated attempts, we were finally granted this important historical moment. So, without further ado, we proudly present for the first time: a electronic interview with The State of New Jersey:
The Corsair: So pleased to meet you. Thank you for talking to me. Buon Giorno.
NJ: Yeah, hey, Bon Jovi to you too, kid.
New Jersey: Were the directions adequate?
The Corsair: Quite. You told me to turn at the smokestack.
NJ: Right. To get to Jersey, just turn at the smokestack. It's a no brainer.
The Corsair: (Awkward silence) So ... how about the environment?
NJ: (All Aggro) Is that supposed to be a crack?
The Corsair: (Frightened) No, no ... don't be so defensive, New Jersey. You have a lot to be proud of.
NJ: Damn right I do. Atlantic City. Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. Mike Tyson. Princeton. The Bruce.
The Corsair: (Confused) Willis or Springsteen?
NJ: --Why I oughta ...
The Corsair: Are you going to vote Republican or Democrat this election. Will you leave the blue state category? This is what political wonks are talking about.
NJ: (Proudly) Everyone wants ta know.
The Corsair: So?
NJ: (Righteously) Let me tell you a little about myself. I have always been in the long shadows of New York. They became the media capitol, and I became the ugly red headed stepchild. It was a callow youth.
The Corsair: Shall I play a violin cadenza?
NJ: --Why I oughta ...!
The Corsair: But you are leaning towards Bush, no?
NJ: Regaining composure) Yes, We are. Too long have we been in the shadows of New York. We have had misfortunes. We are raring for revolt. John Kerry better not take us for granted.
The Corsair: Thanks for talking to me.
NJ: (Full of New Jersey sarcasm) Sure thing, buttercup.