Tuesday, June 08, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Jazz at Lincoln Center at The Apollo. Our pal, the wonderful David Patrick Columbia, faithfully continues his running chronicle, in his breezy yet vital tone, of our leading social and artistic luminaries in NY Social Diary. Another day in the life of DPC:

"We were up at the fabled Apollo theatre on 125th Street where Jazz at Lincoln Center was holding its third annual gala concert and dinner, 'Teach Me Tonight.'

"Cedric the Entertainer was host with performances by Bob Dylan, Al Jarreau, Branford Marsalis, Renee Olstead, James Taylor and the Wynton Marsalis Septet. There must have been more than a thousand guests filling the legendary theater, and afterwards 700 of them moved to the tents behind the theatre for an Asian dinner provided by Taste Caterers.

"Bob Dylan in a jazz concert on the stage of the Apollo? Scruffy-looking as ever, accompanied by his harmonica and the Marsalis Septet, he sang a jazz version of 'Don�t Think Twice (it�s all right)' and jazz it was. And Dylan it was too. Same with James Taylor who sang a couple of his own compositions."

Doesn't it appear as if David is having the most fabulous life? Follow your bliss, David, it's all good.

Out: On the La.com blog, this blind item is pungent, punky even (played, so ably, by the way, by Soleil Moon Frye ... thank you, thank you):

"The Smelly Starlet

"If you want to see owners and managers of pricey clothing boutiques freak, just be there whenever this popular international dish comes cruising into their swank establishments trailed by her army of friends, relatives, flunkies and hangers-on. A clotheshorse and big spender, she spends hours and hours trying on only fashion�s costliest threads. Problem is, she�s so careless about her personal hygiene that once she wears something, it reeks so badly of her personal scent that it can�t possibly be sold retail anymore--so her try-ons first get seriously dry-cleaned, then shipped to discount racks. The doll is so stanky that after she completed shooting her recent hit movie, the wardrobe people burned her costumes to a crisp because they were totally unusable. This helps explain why she hooked up with her slightly less famous current squeeze, whose many erotic fetishes include flooding his sniffer with overripe body aromas."

The only comment mentions Penelope Cruz, who certainly fits the "international dish" bill and "slightly less famous current squeeze" thingie (Matthew McConaughey), but when was the last time she had a hit? Blow?

Any other guesses or do go just with Penelope?

In: I see white people! No colorful people in sight for a Silver Springs advance screening of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkhaban doubling as an AFI tribute to MPAA President Jack Valenti. It's either that, or an Emmylou Harris concert. Or ice hockey.

(Ed Note: Warning, before you read further, for some reason The Corsair is on a racial kick today)

Out: Carmen Kass. It looks like the Eastern European hottie will not be Estonia's EU delegate, according to Daily Vogue, in fact, she'll get her Kass kicked:

"CARMEN KASS has almost no chance of being voted into parliament, according to Estonia's opinion polls. The 25-year-old supermodel, who was voted Model of the Year at the VH1/Vogue awards in 2000, was chosen by her country's ruling right wing Res Publica party as one of 12 candidates for the first deputies of the recently enlarged European Union. But the polls show that Kass has less than one per cent of voters on side. Despite calling the experience 'an opportunity which I couldn't miss', Kass has admitted that not being elected will not be the end of the world. 'It will be a pity for me if I will not be elected, but not a catastrophe,' she told AFP. 'It's the people's choice.' If the votes were to swing her way, however, she is prepared to give her modelling second place in her list of priorities to do the job. 'If people elect me to do this job, I don't have any other choice, I have to go,' she went on. 'It will be hard at the beginning for sure. But after 11 years in a modeling career there are few things I have not done, so I will hardly put much effort into it. Mostly I will dedicate myself to parliamentary work.' And she isn't taking the lack of votes personally. 'Estonians have maybe forgotten about me, because I have been abroad for a long time,' she said. 'But I haven't forgotten about Estonia. I remember where my roots are.'"

The Corsair will respectfully refrain from pointing out that Carmen's roots are indeed brown, although the hair is blonde.

In: Michael Musto is one of the few writers who can go totally off on a moral argument, but do it in such an offhand, funny manner, that it disarms the punch but leaves the kick, drawing in even the most skeptical of readers:

"In the wildly nostalgic 2003�4 season on the Great White Way, African Americans were represented by a maid, a slave, street urchins, a downtrodden ghetto family, and an ape. You've come a long way, baby! (Yes, I know these are well-meaning, beautiful portrayals of black roots�except for the ape�but let's vary it up a bit, folks. At least throw in a modern servant once in a while, deal?)"

We heart Musto. (link via Gawker)

More brilliance a la Musto:

"On the show, fab PHYLICIA RASHAD is go-going nuts, giving such a cuckoo grande-dame acceptance speech that her first name, clearly, is God."

and, my personal fave:

"Moving on to a past Tony nominee, I love me some MERYL STREEP because, if anyone could grandiosely intone self-serving stuff like 'As an actor . . . ' it's huh, and she never does! It's only people who were in That's So Raven or CSI: Hoboken that spew such flouncy crapola."

Damn, The Corsair wanted to be the first to make a snarky That's So Raven reference, but the Must beat us to it.

Out: All the Ronald Reagan historical revisionism ignores the fact that his "constructive engagement" with the brutal totalitarian Apartheid regime.

As Richard Knight told the General Assembly in 1984:

"The Reagan administration's policy of constructive engagement has already led to a significant relaxation of the arms embargo. Stressing the goal of regional stability the American government has now adopted a policy which they see as an "even handed" approach to all countries in the region. Thus the Reagan administration seeks to blame all sides equally for the violence in the region, ignoring the fact that the violence stems from apartheid. In reality there is no even handedness in the U.S.'s engagement in southern Africa; policy in the last three years has resulted in an increased South African ability to harass and dominate regionally."

And it all ultimately played out as Usinfo.state.gov says:

"The charismatic Anglican bishop, Desmond Tutu, rallied western support with his call for a boycott of South Africa, primarily through economic sanctions. The administration of Ronald Reagan opposed formal sanctions, preferring to exert quiet pressure to speed up reform. But the demand for sanctions could not be quieted, and in 1986 Congress overrode a presidential veto to ban the importation of South African goods and prohibit American business investments in South Africa.

"While some critics believe the sanctions were more symbolic than anything else, others claim that they did contribute to rapid political change in South Africa. In 1990 President F.W. de Klerk released Nelson Mandela after twenty-seven years of imprisonment, opened negotiations with the ANC and scrapped most of the apartheid laws. In 1992 a strong majority of the country's white population voted to endorse de Klerk's dismantling of apartheid and the extension of political rights to the black majority. When this happened, President Bush lifted the economic sanctions, claiming that the purpose of the bill had been successfully carried out."

Let's review: Reagan coddled the totalitarian regime, A Democratic congress blocked his veto and imposed sanctions against the Apartheid regime, and, four years later, Nelson Mandela is released, and two years after that democratic elections are held. Now, you tell me why Reagan is a hero.

In: Sick of all the Reagan propaganda? Reagan fatigued, yet? I know I am. The cats at Lowculture have prepared a very cute testionial from Reagan's costar and, for all intensive purposes his intellectual peer, Bonzo, the ape. So best.

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