Friday, June 04, 2004

Mobb Deep At The Movies

Vibe Magazine has this interesting feature where they show movie trailers to the thuggiest hip hop stars and have them rate it -- two guns up if it is good, and, conversely, two guns down if it sucks. Brilliant. In fact, I want to informally pitch this to all the cable people reading this blog (I know you are lurking out there): Think Siskel and Ebert, but with thugs. Chatting. I'm telling you, this has MTV written all over it.

Anyhoo, Prodigy and Havoc of Mobb Deep reviewed:

Predator vs. Alien

Havoc: Thumbs down! They bitin off Freddy versus Jason.

Prodigy: They took too long to do that. Alien versus Predator? It's too late. I'll wait to see it on DVD.

Havoc: When did Alien and Predator ever come from the same world? Wasn't the Predator in the present and Alien was, like 2050 or something? Now all the sudden they caught up to each other.

Prodigy: It looks weak, man. Thumbs down.

Havoc: It's not gonna fly.

Rating: Two Guns Down

Spiderman 2

Prodigy: Oh, it's on. It's gonna be a smash hit.

Havoc: Spiderman 2 is a must see. The first was off the hook.

Prodigy: Now they got that dude, Dr. Whats his name? Dr. Octagon or some shit?

Havoc: Octapus, I think. Out of all the comic book remakes, Spiderman was by far the best one. So I'll definitely check out 2.

: Spidey's ill. He be flying around with the web, that shit is ill. Nigga crawlin on walls and shit.

Rating: Two Guns Up


Prodigy: That nigga retarded, son.

Havoc: Will Ferrell -- that's my dog right there.

Prodigy: Hell, yeah, he's like the new Chevy Chase.

Havoc: Right, exactly, but funnier. I'll definitely check that.

Prodigy: Word. Get doped up and go laugh real quick. Word. Plus, he smacked he in the ass and said 'I like that fatty.'

Havoc: Yeah, he said fattie, son. Thumbs up!

Rating: Two Guns Up

The Village

Prodigy: Looks like Little House on the Prairie, but horror.

Havoc: There's a red slash on everybody's door, so what?

Prodigy: The 'hood would be like, 'Where that monster at? -- Straight up! Where that monster at? You gotta show something. What the fuck? Leprichauns is in the woods or something -- that's that kind of shit that when you finally see what it is, you be like, 'uhh, man.'

Havoc: Do I wanna see this movie. Do I wanna spend $20 on it? I don't think so. Thumbs down.

Rating: Two Guns Down

I, Robot

Prodigy: I don't know about that one, god. I like the song and all they have playing.

Havoc: Nice little rock beat.

Prodigy: But we judging movies here.

Havoc: I, Robot?

Prodigy: I knew someone was gonna do 'I' something cause that 'I' shit is popular. It's i-pod, i-this, i-that.

Havok: Corny title, weak trailer. It's not "'hood friendly."

Prodigy: I wouldn't see it.

Rating: Two Guns Down

The Chronicles of Riddick

Havoc: The special effects was alright, nothing too spectacular, but I love science fiction cause it gets us prepared for what's really about to happen in the future.

Prodigy: Who was that girl in it?

Havoc: That's the girl from Mission: Impossible II that I'm in love with. Tom Cruise aint know what to do with that. Ima see shorty when we get to Hollywood. I give it a thumbs up.

Prodigy: She was the best part of the whole clip, but the movie looks kinda suspect. I give it a diagonal thumbs down.

Rating: Mixed: One Gun Up and one -- er, "Diagonal" (?) Gun Down


Anonymous said...

Admirable, I just had a conflict of testostorone vs. estrogen and it felt kinda tingly. A job well done.

The Corsair said...

Thank you, Cupie ;-)