A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Scarlett Johannsen as the pouty childish diva. You know the Tinseltown buzz on Scarlett, gentle reader -- she's (sotto voce) "mature beyond her years," (pauses, quietly sipping a 1973 Chateau Le Trehon) after the role in which she played opposite the excellent Bill Murray in Lost in Translation. But, according to that significant cultural artifact Star, it's all a sexy lie wrapped in lingerie and saucy come-hither looks:

"Scarlett Johansson may have a career that older actresses envy, but off-camera, the 19-year-old just wants to act her age. Unfortunately, behaving like a normal girl has proved difficult for Scarlett, whose mother and management team are constantly trying to make her seem more sophisticated, according to sources. 'They want her to be the next Meryl Streep,' a friend told an insider. 'They see her as a leading lady, playing roles from the ages of 18 to 30 and expect her to look the part.'

"In addition, says the insider, Scarlett is often coached to sound more mature than she really is. 'she gets fed up because even when she's not acting,' says the friend, 'she's being forced to behave like a different person.'

God, who in the world would ever think that Hollywood is fake?

Out: Courtney Love, who, once again, is scheduled to give us some "Court Love court room" drama, Law and Order style. Chung-chung! On the docket will be: impromptu bathroom press conferences, the inappropriate spraying of hot tears, the suckling of McDonald's clientelle, and, of course, flip comments excecuted with rock star dash ("silly case, silly dress") -- the works. According to Ananova:

"An arrest warrant has been issued for Courtney Love after she was charged with attacking another woman.

"Love is said to have attacked the woman with a bottle and a torch at the home of her former manager and ex-boyfriend.

"An arrest warrant has been issued for the felony charge of assault with a deadly weapon. She is expected to surrender to police today."

And, for those of you with a morbid taste for the decline and Fall of a rocker, TheSmokingGun delves into the specifics:

"Courtney Love has been charged with felony assault for allegedly battering a fellow female rock singer with a bottle and metal flashlight during an April attack at the same Los Angeles home where the troubled performer had been arrested last October. According to the below June 2 criminal complaint--which charges Love with assault with a deadly weapon--the performer attacked Kristin King, a 28-year-old singer/guitarist who fronts an L.A. rock trio. King, pictured at right, is a younger and blonder version of the 39-year-old Love and is a favorite of Eric Erlandson, Love's former guitar man in the band Hole."

In: Narsicism, it's the new black. Or, as Dick Morris writes on the subject today in his comparison of Clinton and Reagan:

"A narcissist needs a mirror so that he can see himself, and measure his self-worth, in the reflected opinions of others. But narcissists don�t want just any mirror. The more beautiful, bright, charismatic, charming and attractive people are, the more psychologically nurturing they are as a mirror for the narcissist."

And Morris knows wherof he speaks on the need to impress people as a part of their self esteem. Was it Howard Kurtz who wrote on Dick Morris' episode with calling on Bill Clinton while with a "lady of the evening"?

"(hooker Sherry) Rowlands also recounted an episode in which she said Morris let her listen in on a phone conversation with the president:

"Hillary answered the phone and she said the president was exercising at the moment and she would get him . . . and when [Clinton] came back he sounds really mad . . . and he said, 'Look, Dick, I would prefer you not use this phone anymore. You can understand Hillary is upset, my wife is not well, you know with all this Whitewater trial and everything, she is not well. You know the regular lines, do not call the private residence anymore.' And he was embarrassed and he said, 'I'm sorry, sir' and hung up.'"

Isn't this just a case of the pol calling the Clinton wack?

Out: Henry Kissinger. I still cannot believe that Henry Kissinger is allowed to walk the streets free and unfettered by chains. Increasingly, his behavior mirrors that of the dictators he hustled in the 70s. In the June 3rd issue of The Nation, Scott Sherman chronicles the odd anti-American behavior of the Machiavellian in Winter:

"Last November Foreign Affairs, the prestigious journal of the Council on Foreign Relations, published a review of The Pinochet File: A Declassified Dossier on Atrocity and Accountability, a new book by Peter Kornbluh, director of the National Security Archive's Chile Documentation Project. Written by the council's chief Latin America expert, Kenneth Maxwell, the review upset two former statesmen who figure prominently in the book and who also happen to be influential actors at the council: Henry Kissinger and his longtime associate William Rogers. In May, after an acrimonious exchange between Rogers and Maxwell in Foreign Affairs -- an exchange that Maxwell insists was abruptly curtailed as a result of pressure from Kissinger and Rogers--Maxwell resigned in protest from the council. His departure raises questions about intellectual freedom at the council; about editorial independence at Foreign Affairs, where Maxwell spent eleven years as Western Hemisphere book reviewer; and about Kissinger's and Rogers's influence on the nation's pre-eminent foreign policy think tank."

In: Seal and Heidi Klum and baby Leni: perhaps the cutest family unit ever. According to Daily Vogue:

"HEIDI KLUM has never felt love like it. The 31-year-old German supermodel, who gave birth to daughter Leni just one month ago, describes motherhood as 'amazing'. Having already regained her figure in time to turn up on the red carpet with her new man, Seal, in tow at the CFDA awards on Monday night, Klum told reporters that she had never felt better. 'You don't truly understand it until you experience it yourself,' she said. 'It really is a kind of love I've never felt before.' Admitting that she is also in love with the British singer who is said to be enjoying taking an active role in little Leni's life, Klum denied that marriage was on the cards. 'I'm in love now, but I don't need a wedding band to prove it,' she said."

Out: The Sean Hannity versus Al Franken Feud is getting a little bit ... wierd. Okay, it's out-and-out Space 1999 (an ensemble cast that so ably included Martin Landau and Barbara Bain as, respectively Commander John Koening and Dr. Helena Russell ... thank you, thank you; you are too kind). TV Barn notes today:

"Yesterday Bodies Like Ours sent an action alert containing a transcript excerpt from comedian and radio talk show host Al Franken containing an insensitive joke about intersex people and conjoined twins he made on his Air America show June 2, 2004. Many people reacted immediately by sending emails to the show expressing their dismay.

"In a great example of how collective action can succeed, Al Franken will be issuing an apology for the remarks today on his show. Bodies Like Ours appreciates the quick response from Mr. Franken and his producer Ben Wikler in airing an apology."

And, the apology?

"On Wednesday's 'Fighting Hannity's Lies with Lies About Hannity' segment, I falsely claimed that Sean Hannity was born a hermaphroditic conjoined twin, and that the doctor who delivered him and his twin reacted in horror at their birth. I would like to apologize to members of the intersexed and conjoined-twin communities for furthering the unjustified stigma attached to these conditions. An estimated one in 2000 people are born with atypical genitalia, which, like conjoinment, is a naturally-occurring bodily variation. I am sorry for the ill-considered joke."

Very Space 1999, like I said.

In: The Tom Freston Les Moonves Feud. The Defamer keeps us on the up and up:

"The New York Post claims that MTV founder/TRL superfan Tom Freston has the advantage in the race to succeed Sumner Redstone as CEO of Viacom. (Quick catch-up for those joining us late: President Mel Karmazin recently quit the Big V, and Redstone named Freston and CBS head/evil mastermind Les Moonves as co-presidents, setting up a King Lear-style succession quagmire. King Lear was a 1997 TV movie starring Ian Holm.)"

And also also In: Fashionweekdaily gives us this scoop:

"Donna Karan and Ingrid Sischy are teaming up for the second time for Donna Karan: The Journey of a Woman (Assouline), a coffee table book due out this September. The book, which has been in development for the past nine months, follows the yoga-loving designer�s illustrious career from her early days at Anne Klein to the icon status she holds today."

I look forward to it, cheers Ingrid.

And, finally, also in: My old Boss Jason Calacanis brings back the good memories for kids who grew up in New York and remember the WPIX game "Pix," where kids would run home to play the interactive game on the phone with the tv station -- pre-Chose Your Own Adventure.