A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Paris is buying her own adult tape (link via defamer). How cute. How (The Corsair makes vaguely sarcastic quotation marks in the mid-air) ... how ... "meta."

Out: Scarlett Johansson, the woman who had "relations" on Oscar night with Benicio del Toro at the Chateau Marmont, will take the place of the super sexy full bodied Kate Winslet (The Corsair groans) in the next BBC financed Woody Allen flic, according to Ananova (via Empire):

"Empire says Johansson has added the film - the first Allen film to be shot in London - to an already punishing schedule that includes Mission: Impossible 3, The Black Dahlia and a voiceover in The Spongebob Squarepants Movie.

"Winslet pulled out of the film last week, three weeks before filming was due to begin, saying she needed more time with her family.

"The unnamed film also stars Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Brian Cox and Emily Mortimer, but details of the plot are not known."

In: Michael Musto's Brilliant Confessions of a Soundbyte Whore (link via Gawker), bound to be torn out and laminated by young, ambitious twenty and thirtysomethings everywhere. A spicy tidbit:

"Don't expect much honesty in live TV, where priorities are constantly shifted and you get constantly shafted. CNBC once booked me to talk about JANET JACKSON's nipple, but they neglected to tell me that I'd be debating a family values harridan who felt her kids were permanently tit-scarred. (At least I got to use my big line five times: 'Can I get a word in edgewise, be-yotch?') Worse, a Geraldo producer said I'd lead off a show, but I actually didn't get on until the very end, at which point I got to say one sentence. (But what a sentence! 'MARTHA STEWART is very . . . ') And MSNBC booked me, but specified that they'd be spending the rest of the day looking for someone better�?I mean more appropriate! Well, I guess that was honest because sure enough, they found that person and offered me a lovely rain check�?as opposed to a lovely paycheck. Moral: There's no dignity in the sideshow."

Out: According to something called The Razz of the Daily Record of the UK, P Diddy -- I kid you not -- is trying to hire Princess Di's manservant Paul Burrell:

"PUFF DADDY is said to be desperate to hire Princess Diana's former assistant, Paul Burrell, as his new aide.

"The hip-hop star's former assistant, Farnsworth Bentley, recently quit to become a rap star and style guru and Puff wants to replace him with Paul.

"The man, who Princess Diana dubbed her 'rock', has already turned the singer down once already but Puff is said to be still determined to hire him."

I couldn't make this shit up if I tried, true believer.

In: Celebrity divorce. Like some cosmic countervailing force against the celebrity knock up fad, Vanessa Williams and Rick Fox broke up. To make things worse, they've got pictures of him cheating (link via defamer). travelingng man alpha male basketball player cheat on his wife? Nooo! Damn, the world wide web is tangled. And though it isn't her fault: Doesn't it always seem as if Vanessa Williams is divorcing and/or marrying someone?

Out: A hott 23 year old teacher and Christina Aguilera look-alike had "relations" with her 14-year old student in the back of an SUV while his 15 year old cousin drove ... and watched, according to the Smokinggun:

"Meet Debra Lafave. The 23-year-old Florida teacher is facing a host of felony charges for allegedly having sex with a 14-year-old male student. According to investigators, Lafave met the boy at Greco Middle School--where she taught reading--and had sex with him in her classroom, Isuzu SUV, and Tampa-area home. A probable cause affidavit prepared by the Marion County Sheriff's Office details Lafave's alleged involvement with the boy, who was interviewed by cops (as was his cousin, who was present for two of the auto encounters). According to the affidavit--portions of which were redacted by investigators--Lafave told the boy that she was "turned on by the fact that having sexual relations with him was not allowed." Since the incidents occurred in different jurisdictions, Lafave has been named in two separate criminal complaints. As such, she has posed for two booking photos: the below left mug shot was snapped at the Marion County lockup, while the picture at right was taken by Hillsborough County sheriff's deputies."

The Corsair would like to say something devilishly witty here, but he will refrain.

In: To paraphrase Billy Idol, it's a nice day for a white (trash) wedding. The guys at the La.com blog cater the impending nuptials of Britney and Kevin Federline. So brilliant.