Thursday, December 16, 2004

The Corsair Pitches

UPDATE: 3:30 PM; Sometimes, we rock, and other times our posts are not up to par. This post is not up to par, but we're leaving it up for the puropse of contrast (you can't have a really rocking post without some subpar matter in between).

The Corsair has had the good fortune to pitch a few shows to Viacom execs, and although nothing has come of the ideas (phooey!), which may say something about the relative talent we have for picking winners (although in our defense we have only pitched reality shows), the process is enlightening. Most Corsair ideas revolve around the tried and true, classic television spin-offs. If a character already has resonance in the American psyche, why not revisit him or her years after the fact? Haven't you ever wondered what happened to Daniel Larusso, aka "Daniel-San," the Karate Kid? Or to JJ Dy-no-mite Evans, Jr.?

Of course, the mitigating factor of the classic tv spinoff is the prohibitive costs of paying all the original creators for creating those characters and the legal thickets to traverse in getting permission. It would be much cheaper,a s the networks have figured, to invent your own hit. But, this being a blog, and my own private idaho, we'll conveniently toss aside those inconvenient realities so that The Corsair can indulge himself here.

Here are a couple of ideas for television shows, maybe some hair-brained, and maybe some intriguing that have come across our crystal ball:

Alderman Evans. NYPD Blue Meets Benson. Former commercial artist James Earl Evans, AKA JJ, wins the old Alderman Davis' seat in municipal elections in Chi-town. Jimmy Walker no longer has the lanky-scrawny looks requisite for to charm the the sit-com audience, but then, this isn?t a sit-com, rather it is a gritty urban drama (HBO might be good for this), a la NYPD Blue. Municipal corruption has beset the district and JJ -- whose campaign slogan, BTW, is Dy-no-mite -- must make hard choices on whether or not he will sell out to the unbeatable machine, or ?keep it real.?

Guest starring: Janet Jackson as Penny, JJ?s romantic interest, and Ja'net Dubois as Wilona, perennial family friend, as well as his sister Thelma, who all try to keep The Alderman on the straight and narrow.

Each episode closes with JJ giving a monologue on the struggle to do his constituents will to a beloved old picture of his father, James Evans, Sr, who died of hypertension, but always managed to do the right thing.

Larusso, PI. Magnum PI Meets Kung Fu meets Walker, Texas Ranger. The groundbreaking flashbacks of Kung Fu can be repeated, in sepia tones, with Macchio and Pat Morita look alikes. In those scenes, Daniel Larusso learns lessons in living the examined life and Karate from his surrogate father figure, Mr. Miyagi, and applies them to his California neighborhood (possible theme song, "Californication," by the Red Hot Chili Peppers).

In the present, Daniel Laruso is now a private investigator in his old California neighborhood. The Cobra-Kai?s, Mr. Kreese, Johnny, Dutch, et al, turned out just as one might have expected them ? rich, spoiled and criminal. Kreese runs the underworld activity, owns the police, and Johnny marries the Elizabeth Shue character (... like marries like in our world, Laruso, why dont you go find yourself a nice Reseda girl) who maintains a flame for her ex.

The Glossy. Bunim and Murray almost made this reality New York Media Magazine show, but then magazine ad dollars went sideways in 2000. Now, in reality, Bunim is pushing daisies. The idea is still solid, just make it a real glossy perhaps and not a webzine. Put together a magazine with some of the most interesting writers and graphic designers and photographers -- or, just use an already established title. Make a documentary, warts and all -- the photo shoots, the deadline pressures, the launch party, celebrity interview clips, navigating the velvet rope gauntlet to land an interview ("what's your favorite color"), diplomacy and savage in-fighting in the editorial meetings, all the stuff that makes a magazine good. Perhaps this can be run on Trio?

Or, even better, throw a little TimeWarner dough at this project, put it on HBO (or Viacom dough on SHO) and put out a magazine to accompany the show. The ad revenue for prominent mention on the show and the millions of dollars in free ads when this show is covered -- nonstop -- among the New York Media elites alone should keep ad sales brisk.


Daredevil. Batman Meets Law and Order. This failed on the big screen in part because of The Affleck Jinx, but also because the character, Daredevil, really doesnt have any flashy superpowers to be manipulated by the effects guys.

Matt Murdoch, however, is perfect for the small screen. His "hyper senses" work better on the television medium (The Corsair fully realizes he has forever lost the 1/10th reserve of whatever "cool quotient" he once had in store with you, dear reader, my mellow, for actually calling to attention the words "hyper senses," and "Daredevil" in a New York Media blog posting; we will try to regain your confidence, bear with us), where he ought to be portrayed more of a master detective who is also the district attorney in the daytime.

DD busts the criminals at night and Murdoch prosecutes them, at the end of the show, for an edifying conclusion a la Law and Order. The action takes place in a menacing Hell?s Kitchen, NYC, with a cast of rogues that will include the Kingpin, waterfront port terrorists, Bullseye, various low lives, and vaguely supervillainous perps who are more superatheletes -- i.e, Boomerang, The Shocker (We know, we know, out "cool quotient" diminisheth by the supervillain mention). Suggested Daredevil: Matthew McConoughey, although, princess9 has a perfect point in saying, "Daredevil with a southern drawl or whatever Matthew has?" Hmm, we didn't think about that.

Apologies: Cocaine and Tramadol kill rappers; similarly, Whisky and Malibu drinks cause strange hangovers that last well into the morning.


Rachel said...

Daredevil with a southern drawl or whatever Matthew has? Although I'm sure that with his superior acting skills he can fake a New York accent.

(S)wine said...

No, no, nooo....that's Balderman Davis (cue hilarious laughter here)!

Didn't you just loved the tit-for-tat he used to have with Wilhelmina...Uh, I mean Wilona?

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