Wednesday, December 15, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Ghosts. Ananova reports on some Daily News story (which, straight up, we are waay too hung over on The Glenfiddich to precisely pinpoint for you):

Above: Ibsen's Ghosts.

"Minnie Driver says she saw a ghost during a visit to Mexico."

Pray tell, prithee: The ghost of her career?

"Driver who plays a diva in The Phantom of the Opera told the New York Daily News, 'There was a strange Mexican in a sombrero and a poncho at the end of my bed in Mexico."

The same thing happened to us, Minnie (shrugs shoulders, embarrassed), only "Pedro" was all too real ... all ... too ... real; what can I say: too much cerveza ...

"'I promise you, he was standing at the end of my bed when I woke up very early in the morning. He disappeared before my very eyes!"

If only ... if only "Pedro" had disappeared (abruptly buries face in hands with shame)...

"'Before I could even say, Hola! and Buenos Dias, he buggered off. And it was very frightening and weird."

Like her album?

"Asked what she had been drinking the night before, Minnie replied, 'Lots of tequila!.'"

We get that way too, after a fifth of Bombay Sapphire.

Out: Bill Rancic. That Apprentice star (!) has taken a shining to alerting media types of his every exhalation of carbon dioxide. Such (Averted Gaze) is his feeble understanding of New York Media (TM). Unfortunately, jaded by gossip, they are not impressed by his overfrequent press releases. Not at all. Clearly, the boy needs our media help. Perhaps we can offer some beefed up suggestions of PR headlines that might alight the collective NewYorkMedia's imaginations (at least more than this did):

1) Bill Rancic, Bill Rancic, since joining The Trump Organization, has munched on a heaping plate of "Beef Cheeks":

"Delicious," said the young professional who works in Manhattan, tucking into the slabs of meat, suckleing on the juicy gristle gently dripping from his short fingers.


2) Bill Rancic, who catapulted to fame as star of Donald Trump's "The Apprentice," cuts a moist fart:

"Donald Trump praised young professional Mr. Rancic for making "an intelligent quality of life decision."

In: Babs' Polyp is Benign. Rush and Molloy today report, "Barbra Streisand says she's doing well after going under the knife to remove a polyp in her colon." Uhm, okay (The Corsair dry heaves), waay too much information relayed. But, thanks for sharing.

Out: John McCain. The Corsair likes John McCain and could conceivably support him for President in 2008, but what's up with all the "sports legislation"? Aren't good Republicans supposed to be for less and not more government intervention? Is that crafty former Naval aviator McCain trying to jet under the Karl Rove radar and stake a claim to some tender intellectual real estate with men 18-25? Is this some elaborate stealth pre-2008 campaign to win over the ESPN crowd? Clearly someone thinks so. TheHill writes (link via Drudge):

"McCain threatened to hold up every piece of legislation in the Senate while House leaders refused to go along with McCains pet project of establishing a national boxing commission. The dispute kept the Senate in session past 10 p.m. on its final legislative day, signaling that intraparty squabbles will prevail when Republicans return with a stronger majority next month.
"Some Senate aides said lobbying by national boxing figures such as promoter Don King, who has testified before Congress on the issue, explained the intensity of the dispute."

BTW, Apropos of nothing -- The idea Don King on capitol hill testifying before the Senate -- of his own free will and unfettered by handcuffs --- on the state of boxing, is straight out of a Fellini movie ...

In: Ebonics. Just as Bill Cosby is busy sassing the young hip hoppers for their dastardly use of "Ebonics," the Oxford English Dictionary -- the Standard -- isn't hating ... their celebrating, according to NCBuy (link via

"Other hip-hop words that were added (ed note: in the OED):

"-- 'Hoochie,' which means 'a young woman who is promiscuous or who dresses or behaves in a sexually provocative or overtly seductive manner.'

"-- 'Thugged out' is defined as 'resembling a thug in dress or behavior, tough-looking.'

"-- And finally, the dictionary editors have added 'crack ho,' which is defined as 'a prostitute addicted to crack cocaine.'"

Sorry Mr. PicturePages, the zeitgeist worketh against thee ...

Out: Karl Lagerfeld's Cooties. Celebrity flu is so hott cause you get cool by association, however viral. For example, The Corsair once caught the whooping cough from Clara Peller.

Anyhoo: If you're going to play hookie from work, you might as well namedrop while you're at it, partake in fabulosity. According to the Fashionweekdaily Quote of the Daily, this, from "An anonymous chicster, in an email to his boss" .... "Karl Lagerfeld sneezed on me last night and I knew then and there that that was the end of me. I am at home very sick in bed. Can't even think straight...won't be able to make it in today..."


In: The Hoff. Don't even Hassel the Hoff. You know this man gets busy. In the beginning was The Hoff. He kept it gangsta. Big hair, an inhumanly engorged cranium, that freshly fucked head of hair, the savage tan, the hammy tv actor voice, the Soap Opera sculpted cleft chin -- Now, according to PRWeb:

"eAuctionAssist, Europes leading eBay drop-off service, today announced the auction of David Hasselhoffs first iPod pre-loaded with two of his albums - the newly released limited edition of The Night Before Christmas and highly successful David Hasselhoff Sings America.

"In addition to this David has also recorded a special video message for the lucky winners of the eBay auction.This exclusive one-off iPod will be listed on eBay from Tuesday 14th December and auction will run until Sunday 19th of December. Other items include memorabilia from his Knight Rider and Baywatch days include personally signed Knight Rider DVD box Sets, signed Baywatch DVDs and signed photos. Signed David Hasselhoff CD albums will also be on auction. The items are all on auction at eBay through You can check out the eBay auctions at"

Out: Kelly Osbourne. Does Kelly Osbourne getting into a little slap-and-tickle in the UK count as Corsair-worthy news? The Corsair is too close to the situation to make a call. According to The Dish:

"Wildchild singer Kelly Osbourne got in a fight in a London bar on Friday, after a reveler pulled her hair.

"Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne's daughter, 20, was relaxing with pals at music venue Barfly in Camden, north London, when a partygoer grabbed her hair extensions.

"An onlooker says, 'A girl at the club thought Kelly was wearing a wig. She thought Kelly had put on a disguise so as not to be noticed.

"'As a joke she pulled the wig -- unfortunately it was Kelly's hair and a clump came out.'

"After furious Osbourne turned on the hair-puller, security staff quickly intervened.

"Osbourne's spokesman admits, 'There was a bit of a girlie fight, but Kelly's fine now.'"

Somewhere in the UK, Kelly's fusia hair extentions marr the otherwise pristine landscape, like flourescent tumbleweed in some 1950s era Sci-fi Western.

1 comment:

Rachel said...

I used to love Knight Rider, now he kind of creepy, and that picture was just yucky. I didn't want to see the much of The Hoff.