Wednesday, December 01, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: eGay. Ananova reports:

"Celebrities have been giving away collectible items to be auctioned off for charity on the new auction site eGay.

"They are being sold on, the online marketplace for the gay and lesbian communities, to raise money for the Terence Higgins Trust.

"Lots include a Queen T-shirt, signed by the entire band including Freddy Mercury, and a copy of the Soprano's script from the pilot edition, signed by the cast ... an England rugby shirt, signed by the England rugby team"

This British site, which donates 5% of their monthly profits, sells all sorts of other interesting knicknacks, like, oh, say, a signed copy of Martin Amis' Times Arrow(starting bid 1 pound), a portrait of the late artist Robert O. Lenkiewicz, Exclusive Borsalino After Shave, ... or ... pornography.

Out: Camryn Manheim. My adorable Page Sixxies say:

"THE names Julia Roberts (and hubby Danny Moder) picked for their twins have at least one fan. Camryn Manheim ? the oversize actress from The Practice ? told 'Access Hollywood' she liked both Hazel for the girl and Phinneaus for the boy. 'You can tell that those names are from the family or well-thought-out, and I think that's great,' Manheim said. 'I'm a believer in really well-thought-out names. Euphony is so important.' The star revealed she changed her own first name at age 20, 'and I truly believe that my life took off after I changed it.' As for her son, Milo: 'I named him after the little boy in The Phantom Tollbooth. The name really suits him. He's very tender-hearted, whimsical.'"

Super. That sound in the background? Oh, gentle reader, that would be the aforementioned Milo, screaming, held upside down with his head in the toilet receiving a his twice monthly swirly from some gnarly looking bullies.

While Camryn discourses on the romance of euphony, Milo, Hazel and Phinneaus will be fighting back-to-back-to-back for their lives and their lunchmoney, daily, from bullies who don't quite get the jazz of kids named after Jon-Eric Hexum's Time traveling Voyagers character (and don't even get us started on Meeno Peluce).

In: Shelley Long. We're pulling for Diane Chambers, we really are, we like our artsy-intellectual Bennington girls (The Corsair pauses to cherish his memories of Southern Vermont Autumns and the women who smell of Apple Cider and fresh baked bread, and are enthusiastic about the poetry of Robert Frost and the intellectual beauty of Euclid's Proposition 47), although that yummy species of womanflesh is more likely to waitress on "The Cape," rather than a neighborhood bar like Cheers. We always liked that about her, that she was one of the guys -- with a degree in Native American Studies.

That significant cultural artifact The National Enquirer circles over her prone, broken, contumescent career like vultures closing in on some (air quotes) "jus de viande," but let's hope there are a few more -- happier -- chapters left to her story:

"Their divorce papers cite 'irreconcilable differences,' but insiders say Shelley was so obsessed with making an acting comeback, she paid too little attention to Bruce and they grew apart."

This is ironic on so many levels (The Corsair rolls up his elegant, crisp Saville Row sleeves, sips some mulled wine with cardamom seeds), so many dimensions (The Corsair wipes his brow, pulls from a Schimmelpennick), as Shelley Long actually starred in Irreconcilable Differences (with Ryan O'Neal, thank you, thank you ...), one of her few Hollywood successes, where an adorable Drew Barrymore steals the show on the witness stand as she divorces her parents because ... they are too ... Hollywood, too .... workaholic. The irony is magnificently harsh, because ...

"'For 18 months, Shelley has been getting more and more depressed,' another family friend told The ENQUIRER. 'When her husband asked for a divorce, she asked how could he throw their relationship away after all this time.

"'Shelley reminded Bruce how much she has worked over the years to help provide an extraordinary life for their family. But Bruce told Shelley he was never into the Hollywood scene or buying things, so as much as he appreciated her, it was never about the money.

"'He said when they married, he was in love with her as a person, not a celebrity.

"She told him everything she did, she did for her family--and that she didn't understand what went wrong.

"'Bruce said for almost the entire time they were married they went back and forth about Shelley being a workaholic, and that she never listened to him. Now after 22 years, he was tired of talking. He wanted a divorce.'"

As Kennedy once said, Life ... isn't fair.

Out: Bobby Darin. The Page Sixxies strike again:

"THERE'S a bunch of information about Bobby Darin you won't learn in the new Kevin Spacey movie, 'Beyond the Sea.' According to the new biography, 'Roman Candle' (Rodale) by former Paris Review editor David Evanier, Darin insisted on wearing a condom on stage every night he performed. A close friend of Darin's lets on that 'Sometimes he actually ... he had an orgasm.'"

Oh no he didn't ... and, more to the point, will Spacey use Method Acting to become one with the character?

In: Monica Crowley. Vivacious blond geopolitical thinker-vixen Monica "Yumyum" Crowley is riding high these days. Georgette Mosbacher's pretty little padawan is living in a city with a Republican mayor, a Republican Governor, and a Republican President-elect. Neighboring New Jersey is trending Republican. And she's young and single and loves to mingle, with her own radio show and a host of guest tv talking head appearances. One can almost imagine the GOP investment bankers fiending to get on her dance card (we have almost forgotten PhotoGate, water under the bridge), Monica is a definite catch. And now, the photogenic Crowley is going to get her own tv show.

Our pal, The Great Musto gets the scoop:

"WABC radio personality MONICA CROWLEY, who's an MSNBC regular, told me at PM Lounge that she's getting her own show on that TV channel starting next year. It already has higher ratings than TINA BROWN's."

Out: Scott Pelley, Bitch. Why, you ask, does The Corsair hint that Scott Pelley of CBS News has more than "a touch of the bitch" about him? The salmon colored weekly writes:

"With CBS anchor Dan Rather preparing to vacate his desk in March 2005, the campaign to replace him has been launched. Self-propelling are the networks two youngish reporters on the verge, John Roberts and Scott Pelley.

"Mr. Pelley let his slingshot loose first.

"On Monday, Nov. 29, the 47-year-old flak-jacketed correspondent for 60 Minutes--a tough guy with a silver coif and sturdy underjaw--presented his own case: field-reporting chops trump anchor skills for the big chair on the Evening News.

"'I think the audience can tell the difference between someone who is a brilliant reader of the teleprompter,' Mr. Pelley told The Observer, 'and someone who has the experience and who has been in the field, who has covered the stories and knows what theyre doing.'"

Please. Someone fetch Mssr. Pelley a saucer of milk.

Mixed. George Soros. More and more we are hearing that the Kiev protests in the streets -- all those tents and food for 100,000 came disproportionately, from the shadowy George Soros and his Open Society Institute.

Soros operates like a rogue nation, influencing events in Central and Eastern Europe. But is it prudent for The Man Who Broke The Bank of Britain to be fucking around with Russia's cordon sanitaire?

As The New Statesman describes him:

" ... The archetypal amoral capitalist who made billions out of the Far Eastern currency crash of 1997 and who last year was fined $2m for insider trading by a court in France - seen the light in his old age? (He is 72.) Should we pop the champagne corks and toast his conversion?

"Not before asking what really motivates him. Soros likes to portray himself as an outsider, an independent-minded Hungarian emigre and philosopher-pundit who stands detached from the US military-industrial complex."

More and more we are hearing the name Soros in connection with what is going on behind the scenes in the Ukraine and it is enraging Russia, who more and more speak of "outsiders" and their "influence,"and we are not so sure it's a good thing ... especially if Moscow decides it has had enough. Then, will Soros accept blame for the blood in Kiev?

1 comment:

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