Monday, December 13, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi. A Sapphic love supreme (The Corsair conjures up a juicy visual, smiles fondly, continues), According to those intrepid Page Sixxies:


Above: DeGeneres and Hedison in sunnier days.

"... DeGeneres, 46, and de Rossi, 31, first met nine months ago on a photo shoot, we're told. They fell 'instantly in love,' de Rossi gushed to pals at the time. But DeGeneres remained loyal to (girlfriend of four years, photographer-director Alexandra) Hedison, whom she often credited with 'saving her life' at a time of crisis. However, when DeGeneres and de Rossi met up again at VH1's Big in '04 awards gala in L.A. on Dec. 1, events took their natural course.

"Their respective girlfriends were absent, and this time there was no stopping the lusty ladies. They managed to find a private spot and 'things got so hot and heavy between them that they raced to a limo and fooled around for hours,' our source reports."

-- (The Corsair slowly heads towards the door, attracting as little attention as possible) Now, I'm (The Corsair's eyes casually drop 25 degrees below his midriff) "Big" in '04 (Averted Gaze) ...

Out: Lil Kim. According to TheLowdown:

"LIL' KIM HEALTH SCARE: I hear that Brooklyn's Kimberly Jones is recovering at home after spending two nights in the hospital - a stay that delayed filming of her VH1 reality show.

"I'm told that Lil' Kim had a severe allergic reaction to something on Wednesday night, but doctors couldn't figure out the cause."

Perhaps the plastic-filled "blue-eyed" (Averted Gaze) rapper has finally become entirely allergic to reality itself? It's not inconceivable ...

In: Tommy Hilfiger-Karl Lagerfeld, the Ultimate in "Classes for the Masses". Fuck, The Corsair knew he should have bought stock in Hilfiger; he just knew that whole (air quotes) "sell-the-jet-set-affordably-to-the-urban, and, thus, ipso-facto-the-suburban crowd" blueprint thingie was an act of evil genius; The Corsair knew it when he saw that godamned Hilfiger 2005 spring-summer collection in the tents (although Geofrey Deeny of FashionwireDaily hated it), Corsair knew the urban crowd would eat it up like Capn Crunch. Too fucking late now (The Corsair strikes himself on the head), the cat is out of the bag. Now Hilfiger stock is up 1.98 percent at press time, and rising, because of this utterly brilliant move -- According to Fashionweekdaily:

"It was announced today that Tommy Hilfiger Corporation will acquire the trademarks of Karl Lagerfeld --which includes Lagerfeld Galleries and other Lagerfeld collections--for an undisclosed cash amount. The symbiotic relationship will allow Mr. Lagerfeld to expand his brands into new markets on a global scale, and the Tommy Hilfiger Corporation to tap into the upscale apparel market.

"The acquisition, which does not include Mr. Lagerfelds agreements with Chanel and Fendi, is part of a global expansion plan to develop Mr. Lagerfelds brands within the US and to expand the distribution of his women?s and men?s collections geographically. 'In choosing a partner to expand my business, I was looking for a company that has built a business on a global basis, and possesses the infrastructure and resources to make our vision for the Lagerfeld brand become a reality. I have been impressed with David [Dyer, president and CEO of Tommy Hilfiger Corp.], Tommy and their team, and I look forward to working together on exciting new initiatives,' said Lagerfeld.

"'Karl is a true inspiration. Designing for the world?s most prestigious collections, he has continuously set the benchmark for style, creativity and sophistication. Karl will continue to have autonomy in executing his vision on a global scale, while benefiting from a supportive partner. We look forward to the many opportunities ahead,' commented Hilfiger."

Fucking brilliant; bravo, Tommy -- Finally someone will fully articulated the emerging trend of "classes for the masses," the mix of High and Low, first promulgated by that fashion forward Isaac Mizrahi at Target.

Hot Stock Tip a la Corsair: Buy Hilfiger.

Out: Madonna. According to the 3AM Girls, Madonna will rise off the campus, slowly, slowly, rub the slather off her chin, and make another attempt to act (controlled belly laugh, followed by a small closing cough of. feigneddetachment):

"... The public humiliation of Swept Away has not dented Madonna's determination to be a movie star.

"The megastar - who now prefers to be called by her Hebrew name Esther - has talked hubby Guy Ritchie, 36, into giving her a part in his latest gangster movie, Revolver. And he wisely agreed.

"They have already secretly filmed her scenes on the Isle of Man.

"Sources tell us: 'Everyone knows Madonna gets what she wants and she still loves to act.

"'One of the things that most attracted her to Guy was the fact that he is a film director - she is fascinated by his art.'"

Quiet on the set: Madonna wants to be a movie star -- take 7!

In: Pale Male. The most famous/infamous resident of Fifth Avenue (The Corsair is a big Pale Male fan; red-tailed hawks rock) got an endorsement from Our Favorite Chronicler of the well heeled, David Patrick Columbia's NySocialDiary:

"The bird�s nest was removed last Tuesday, which led to public protests. Mary Tyler Moore, through her husband, has made it known that she would have liked to see the bird�s nest remain. Ms. Moore is by nature very discreet and reticent about public pronouncements, but she has been quoted as saying that the board members 'are not reversible type people,' adding 'They just don't want the birds here.' My sources tell me that there are only two residents who really wanted the nest removed � Mr. Cohen and Robert Belfer, a longtime resident of the building who is chairman and CEO of Belco Oil and Gas Corporation.

"Until now, Mr. Belfer�s name has been prominent in the news only because of his holdings in Enron. It has been said that Mr. Belfer lost a very large part of his fortune (some estimates were $1 billion) when Enron went belly up. Co-op boards, varying with the buildings, can be notoriously difficult depending on the personalities of the members. Some board members appear to like the power that comes with the position � approving or declining a potential (and therefore very wealthy) buyer for any number of reasons from the important to the itsy-bitsy.

"Mr. Belfer has long had a reputation for not being so easy for newcomers to please, and that he maintains very high standards (some would say impeccable) for this building. But it is possibly because of that that many are privately blaming him for this public relations debacle.

The main gripe of the board was said to be that Pale Male was dropping carcasses of his prey on the street � his prey being dead rats and pigeons, and that the bird droppings messed up the canopy ... It should also be said that neighbors who have lived on the same block for decades claim they have never seen anything unusual on the sidewalk in front of 927 Fifth. Most of the neighbors I�ve spoken to are outraged by the building�s board�s decision."

Out: The Kobe Bryant-Karl Malone Feud. Can't Kobe get along with anyone? According to Sports Illustrated:

"The Kobe Bryant-Karl Malone feud has turned personal, with Bryant accusing Malone of making a pass at his wife at a game.

"'He was like a mentor, like a brother to me, so when something like that happens, you're upset, you're hurt,' Bryant said Sunday night before the Los Angeles Lakers played the Orlando Magic.
Malone has been recuperating from knee surgery, and last Tuesday his agent said he didn't plan to return to the Lakers because of comments Bryant made in a radio interview.

"Bryant spoke about the Lakers having to look over their shoulders, wondering whether Malone was going to play again.

"Malone's agent, Dwight Manley, said then that Malone was furious at Bryant, and also said private, personal attacks were involved, but would not elaborate.

"Bryant elaborated plenty on Sunday.

"He said he had phoned Malone, who has a home near Bryant's in Newport Beach, after Vanessa Bryant told her husband on Nov. 23 that Malone had made inappropriate comments to her that night at the game at Staples Center.

"Bryant said he called Malone and told him, 'Stay away from my wife. What's wrong with you? How could you?'"

Ah, well, at least now that Kobe and Vanessa have a manufactured common enemy -- that would be: Malone -- maybe they can mend their broken marriage. And ruin Karl Malone's name and endorsement deals in the process.

1 comment:

Rachel said...

Lil' Kim is getting to be really scary looking, seriously.