Wednesday, December 22, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Warren Beatty. Sure, he's probably lost that infamous informal Hollywood success competition to Robert Redford, who ultimately founded Sundance, is a perennial favorite "name mentioned" as possible candidate for Democratic Senator from Utah (The Corsair munches on a Madeleine), and, according to Popbitch (link via Defamer) is the recipient of a hideously painful sounding procedure known as (The Corsair winces) a "scrotum lift;" but we believe Warren Beatty -- if he'll just let go of the ego -- with an expert director at the helm, still has the role of a lifetime ahead of him. We have not seen the last of Beatty.


The brilliant Michael Musto materializes a situation in which such a scenario might indeed unfold:

"... By the way, sources tell me that if The Aviator flies at the box office, WARREN BEATTY is interested in playing (Howard) Hughes in his later years in a follow-up movie."

We would so be there.

Out: Mariah Carey. The Most Noble Ancient Greeks held lovingly within their culture an existential principle called SOPHROSYNE, best illustrated by Euclid's Golden Ratio, which expounded a theory of well-balance that would guide one through life's difficult decisions. The evenly balanced scales of blind justice derive from this principle. Mariah Carey's gift-giving choices, frankly, explode it. Some gifts are just louche, out of hand, way over the top, unnecessary, exceptionally revealing of the mental state of the giver, like this (Averted Gaze), from Mariah, via the 3 AM Girls:

"MARIAH Carey's pals are in for an interesting Christmas. Sources tell us the singer is giving her nearest and dearest diamond-encrusted stockings designed by herself. We're told: 'Mariah is bringing out a range of hosiery called Mariah Kiss Kiss next year. As part of this range she's designed some diamante-encrusted, old-fashioned stockings, but for her closest pals she's had some made up with real diamonds.' ... they cost up to ($28,710.00) a pair ..."

In: Kate Winslet. We just came across this somewhat-recent-but-not-really interview (get used to it guys, Hollywood-DC- and the NYC media are on Holiday vacations; slow news days abound, baby, from now 'till Jan 2nd) from Index Magazine between Kate Winslet and writer A.M. Homes:

"A.M.: There are so many layered flashbacks in Eternal Sunshine. Was it a hard shoot?

"KATE: I remember Jim Carrey asking me, 'Are the hours always this tough on independent movies?' And I said, 'Honey, you think this is fucking independent? This has got a studio behind it. This is not independent.' Hideous Kinky ? that was an independent. My trailer was a tin caravan that was full of flies and had leaky air conditioning. But I didn't care. I wanted to get back to basics.

"A.M.: You made Hideous Kinky right after Titanic. You played a '60s hippie with two small children who had moved from London to Morocco.

"KATE: I had really lost faith in acting after the whole Titanic experience. Instead of acting, my job was to be a hot young movie star. Suddenly I was on the cover of The Face and GQ. Other people were telling me who I was, and I was like, 'What do you mean I'm hot? I'm not hot. I have a big ass.'

"A.M.: Hot is just a word. Your big ass is irrelevant."

Whoawhoawhoa (The Corsair sips a 1957 D'Oliveira Old Wine Madeira, then joins the mix), now hold on Miss "A.M.," expert on the relvaance of ass! Wait just one minute there, honey; we'll decide ... whether Kate Winslet's ass has any significance (The Corsair is a bit "flush" on Armagnac and Madeira) ... in the greater scheme of things. Hott may just be a word to Paris Hilton (pontificating ... wine soaked), but it is a Weltanschauung, an Old Ugandan custom (entirely bullshitting, but in a charming, offhand manner), to me, to be frank -- that was first. And, second, her "curvy" ass is quite relevant to me, thank you very much! Ass is always relevant.

Out: Kate Bosworth. While we love Kate Winslet's pillowy curves (and Destiny's Child's defense of a healthy body image for women), we eschew Kate Bosworth's absurd (--Averted Gaze at the anti-Winsletian), sickly pencil-thin figure; so might hubby Orlando Bloom, who appears to be going after a more healthily-built lass. The LA.Com blog gets it right:

"At the premiere of her film Beyond the Sea, Kate Bosworth, whose thin and toned body in Blue Crush became the envy of girls nationwide, told Us Weekly, 'I gained 15 pounds for Blue Crush. This is my normal weight.' Yeah. Whatever. Were sure you and Teri Polo meet for lunch at In-N-Out Burger all the time. "

In: So, How did Bill Murray and Wes Anderson Hook Up? According to Papermag:

"Bill Murray, who began Act III of his career with an achingly funny-sad performance in Rushmore (1998), is back in tragicomic form for The Life Aquatic.

"'I don't know how we even managed to get in touch with him in the first place,' Anderson recalls of Murray's pre-Rushmore days. 'We had no money. One day I was in a meeting with some executives, and [Murray] called for me in that office. I was like, I don't know how this guy knows where I am, and everybody else left the room. I spoke to him for an hour and a half about Kurosawa."

Out: Avril Lavigne's Temper. First we thought her temper tantrums were about dietary "issues" (carbs make Avril mean). Now we know otherwise. She'll kick a girl in "the box" just to watch her cry. According to The Dish:

"Canadian singer Avril Lavigne was furious after stylists on her forthcoming music video accidentally dyed her hair pink, a day before her photoshoot with America's Cosmopolitan magazine."

'Cause Cosmo is so "punk rock."

"The paint Lavigne was doused in for her latest promo stained her locks for the New York photo session.

"And the young star was allegedly so upset about her appearance, she demanded a closed set and forced the crew to wait outside, British newspaper the Daily Sport reports.

"An insider says, 'She had a right strop on. I know she had a stressful shoot for Cosmo, but there was no need to take it out on everyone.'"

And, just so you know, their usage of "strop on" means something altogether different than what you are thinking.

1 comment:

Rachel said...

It's a good thing you clairifed the whole "strop on" thing, I was worried about Miss Avril for a minute there.