Monday, December 13, 2004

The New Urban Tom Cruise (TM) And Oprah Celebrate

The New Urban Tom Cruise (TM) and fellow Master of the Universe Oprah took some meaningful time out from munching canapes and drinking distilled Andean peasant blood to celebrate Nobel Prize laureate Wangari Maathai, according to Hello! Magazine:


"... The Kenyan activist was treated to an unforgettable night, with musical performances by Patti Labelle, Andrea Bocelli and teenage soul sensation Joss Stone."

What? Was David Gest busy? Dude, what's up with the Z-List treatment for the Nobel?

" ... Crown Prince Haakon and Princess Mette-Marit also came along to offer their congratulations, but it fell to the American stars to present her with the award. 'People fight over water, food and natural resources,' said Tom. 'When our resources get scarce, we go to war over them. In managing our resources, and in sustainable development, we plant the seeds of peace.'"

Quoth the Scientologist.

"Oprah meanwhile confessed that taking part in the ceremony wasn't her only reason for making the journey across the Atlantic. 'I'm here because, first of all, when the Nobel Committee calls, you try to answer with a yes,' she said. 'I also like to go wherever Tom Cruise might be. You have the Nobel Committee and Tom Cruise � who's gonna say no to that?'"

Ah, Oprah, and we thought you were shallow.

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