Thursday, December 16, 2004

Goodbye, Sex Degrees

You can play Taps, or, in this case (innocent smile), Tap That Ass, as we are talking about Paris Hilton's "revolving man-door" here (also known, affectionately, to the many who've "revolved," as "the beef curtain"). The Corsair is officially retiring the "Sex Degrees of Paris Hilton" site, on account of, well, the game is no longer any fun.

Paris has been through so many partners in the interim that the game no longer works at the six degree remove. The punch is gone; they'll be no joy in Mudville; the game is no longer relevant, it's no longer popping. The entire parameters of the game have to be reworked to make it competitive, new coordinates of axes must be plotted, new vectors must be assigned (The Corsair rolls up his sleeves, sips Armagnac, gets animated), as an Anonymous reader writes:

"Paris has ANOTHER new boyfriend (Ed Note: David Lachappelle)? What, does she go through one a week or something? You'd think that people would be scared to get near here, what with the 'Sex Degrees' thing and all... maybe she's working to make it 'Three Degrees of Paris Hilton'..."

And The Corsair doesn't have the time to work out such pop-cultural processes when Paris will, quite frankly, only make those changes obsolete with reports of another round of her lovers.

So, until there is an influx of new "It" boys and girls to Tinseltown -- new blood, so to speak -- we are going to have to retire the site. Paris wore us down.

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