Monday, December 20, 2004

Mary-Kate Olsen Interning for Ali Fatourechi

According to the Page Sixxies, an Ashley twin may be playing fast and loose with her academic college credits, because they hear:

"... THAT Mary-Kate Olsen is working as an intern for her beau, Ali Fatourechi. The club promoter is launching a denim line, and Olsen has wrangled it so she will receive college credit for helping Fatourechi out."


Far out, like, we know NYU is a "progressive private liberal arts school" and all, but we didn't think the whole Lewinsky thing would be all ... "Swayze" -- to all involved at Tisch; the whole idea of retail and merchandising internship with a "boyfriend-as-supervisor" for academic credit thing can sometimes be "frowned upon" by the more "uptight" department supervisors. But not us!

According to NYU's policy on internships culled, ever so softly, from their own website, " ... You receive a grade on your transcript for your internship course, just as you do for your academic courses. The grade is based on two inputs: 1) your internship supervisors evaluation of your performance; and 2) a 900-1500 word report describing very concretely what you did and what you learned."

Well, my dear mellows, below we obtained (wink wink) Mary-Kate's supervisor's -- though we can't verify it -- report:

Intern: Mary-Kate Ashley
Company: Some fake ass "denim-jeans shell company"
Company Supervisor: Ali
Supervisors Title: "Venture Pimp-italist"

1. In what projects was the student engaged?

Assisting with ad-hoc projects on a daily basis, like, one time, me and Mary-Kate did some totally serious canoodling over at Bungalo 8. Ad hoc? More like "Tonsil hoc," if you ask me (insert unsavory chuckle). Like, I'd totally give her an "A-plus" on that assignment.

2. How were these projects implemented? What resources were used to complete these projects?

These projects were implemented in a "sexy-piece-of-ass" manner. Mary-Kate was awesome (can I use the word "awesome" on a supervisors evaluation? Sure fits.) Appointments, tours, sightseeing and shopping ... This experience opened up a whole new culture and way of life to me, Mr. NYU Administrator dude. I even got to meet John Stamos!! How cool is that? Who says never mix business and pleasure?

3. What role did you, as the supervisor, play in the students work?

I gave her "Hands-on" training -- pun intended -- in areas of operations in either the Distribution Center or Corporate Sales production areas, after "sourceing" her "raw materials." And you can quote me on that.

CAD work -- tee hee -- was done extensively. I provided training and supervising a staff of new employees through our -- ahem -- "peak" season; and, finally, all innuendoed out, I say I engaged in a -- ahem -- "physical testing of her fabrics." She had the right stuff.

4. How much time did the student invest in his or her projects?

We spent lots of Friday and Saturday nights together, if that's what you mean.

5. What skills do you think this student developed?

She takes a wicked "dictation."

6. If the student were to engage in another internship, what recommendations would you make for improvement?


7. What is your overall assessment of this students performance? What has he or she learned?

A-plus plus.

8. If you were to restructure the internship differently next time, what recommendations would you make?

A Threesome with Ashley, next time, fer sure.

Signed, cheerfully, "Ali"

for the NYU
College of Arts and Science

1 comment:

The Corsair said...

Mmm... Olsen threesome ....