Saturday, December 04, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out

(Note: Upper East Side Laundry Service Online)

In: Jason Binn's Niche Media. Fashionweekdaily get the scoop of some new editions to Niche Media, which, it appears, plans on doing up a big glossy for each power enclave in the United States -- why didn't we think of that?:


(image via Fashionweekdaily)

"The publisher of Niche Media Publications Hamptons, Ocean Drive, Gotham, Los Angeles Confidential and Aspen Peak has announced that he will launch, beginning in 2005, publications in Washington D.C., Boston and San Francisco.
"The first publication to debut in 2005 will be Capitol in Washington D.C., which will be produced quarterly and will target the center of the political world. Commonwealth will reveal itself in Boston in the first half of 2005 as well and Golden Gate will make its way into the cable car-filled streets of San Francisco the second half of next year. As with all of Binn?s current titles, these three publications will target affluent readers, emphasizing luxury retail, real estate and celebrity with a controlled circulation of 70,000."

Out: Celebrity weddings. Earlier this year, everyone who was everyone in Hollywood was getting hitched. Now, well, everyone who did that appears to be on the skidz, like, oh, Nick and Jessica ("this I swear ..."), Brad and Jennifer ... and, okay, that's all The Corsair could come up with, but, what's up with that?

In: JLo Wants to Get Knocked Up. Okay, JLo is still Jenny from the Block, this much is certain. How do we know? Well, TheSun published this odd account of her oh-so-very-ghetto (Hey, Jenny, how about consulting a contemporary OB/GYN and not "Dr. Dre" for your medical advice?) "special diet" from urban legends, no doubt, that -- she believes -- will help her conceive a baby. Read:

"The legendary diva is expecting staff at posh Claridges to help her get PREGNANT.

"J-Lo, 34, is desperate to start a family with hubby No 3 Marc Anthony and is following a strict regime said to boost fertility.

"Other requirements include a ($135,625) Louis XIV table, spotlight and masseur on call to her two ($3,875)-a-night suites. Meanwhile, the chefs have been told to serve up herrings, lentils and nuts.

"A pal of the star, who releases new single Get Right next month, said: 'Jennifer really wants to give herself the best chance of conceiving.'"

Because, we all know (Averted Gaze), the old peasants chant, "herring helps you get your fertility bearing, and, ancillary to that, sturgeon will keep you virgin"

In: Hott for Teacher. Okay, you can send me angry emails to, but, and The Corsair only speaks for himself here -- not any woman, or even any other guy -- but: What's so wrong with this?

If The Corsair were 14 again, and a hott woman teacher hit on him, well, it wouldn't be abuse ... it would be a good day ... and, 10 years later, The Corsair would still savor the memory, and The Corsair only speaks for himself here. It just seems like a silly case to prosecute the teacher. And, The Corsair guesses that the kid would probably say the same thing -- and his father, if you ask him in private, without any cameras.

Out: Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, uptight? Noo. Never, they seem so laid back, down to earth. These are not anal people. Why, just the other day, Gwynnie was drinking Pisco with me by the stoop on "the Ave" to keep warm, we had a moment, it was super.

According to the 3AM Girls:

"Mike Skinner, also known as The Streets, admits a dinner date with Hollywood beauty Gwyneth Paltrow and hubby Chris Martin turned into an excruciating night out.

"The 26-year-old Brixton-based rapper, whose hits include Dry Your Eyes, tells today's CD:UK: 'My sister came with me and she was really drunk. She spilt a glass of wine over Chris so we left. I had to pull my sister away and we went home.'

"It seems that naughty Skins can't help himself where the Martins are concerned. As revealed by 3am recently, during Coldplay's set at In The Park, a rather worse-for-wear Mikey climbed on stage. He said: 'As I stumbled off there was Gwyneth scowling at me - the lunatic with the bottle of brandy in his hand.'"

Nah, Gwyneth, giving someone "ice," no, The Corsair cannot imagine it. Must be another Gwyneth.


erin said...

Yeah, not only is that teacher hott, but I saw on Entertainment Tonight that she dated Nick Carter in high school. So that 14 year old playa is now within four degrees of Paris Hilton.

(S)wine said...

Yeh, step up from LeTourneau. I see the legal issue, however, I agree with the Corsair. Where were these dysfunctional teachers when Robotnik was in high school. Or middle-school.