RZA is Crazy
The Corsair has many media obsessions but one of his favorites is RZA. The RZA is crazy. Nutso. He eats ungodly amounts of colloidal silver, even proffering it to his offspring need we say more?
One day RZA and his babies are going to turn blue from a colloidal silver overdose and then people will take me seriously. Anyhoo: here's what he had to say to FHM:
FHM: How strong is your Kung Fu?
RZA: "Strong, but I've never used it. One of my uncles trains CIA agents. He was offended I was learning from someone else, so he showed me this one move. He said, 'I could cripple you.' I believed him but he had to prove it. I was hurt for three months."
Okay ... leaving aside the implausibility that one of RZA's uncles is in the intelligence gathering business, how many people out there have familial relations that whisper Moon Knight-like threats. Being family is not about crippling one another. The interview concludes:
FHM: Is there an RZA sex tape out there?
RZA: I don't leave evidence like that. I form the lense with my hand, look through it and tape record with my mind.
What-the-fuck?!
Saturday, February 14, 2004
Vanitas Vanitatum, Omnia Vanitas
"Laughter is mad, and reckless mirth-/ What does she in this weary earth?/ Should Wealth, or Fame, our Life employ,/ Death comes, our labour to destroy," writes Ann Bronte in Vanitas Vanitatum, Omnia Vanitas. And the same could be said of inveterate namedropper and status seeker extraordinare James Lipton of Inside the Actors Studio (okay, *skittish* so maybe I know a little bit about this topic, my little pommies, as that little -- makes broad quotation gestures with his fingers -- "interview with myself" thingie wasn't the best idea I've ever come up with, *blushes*).
Joanna and Alex of the very cool Two-Twenty.net put me in my place over my vanity, as did several others via email. I'm properly chastened. If I'm gonna throw down the snark, I should have a tough enough skin to take a bit of a bitchslapping now and then, as well. What was it Matt Dillon said in Drugstore Cowboy about the therapeutic qualities of getting your ass kicked? So, allow me to redeem my name on the subject of self promotion.
So, let's get off me and back on to James Lipton. (apologies, that was a nasty little piece of imagery I just laid on you; fucking disgusting, actually) Of Lipton, who we now presently mount with vigor (sorry, couldn't resist), let us say that one Robert Wilonski of the Dallas Observer once sagely wrote, "James Lipton is so obsequious, it's astonishing the man does not conduct his interviews from his subjects' anal cavities (ed note: this emerging theme is not my fault). The host of Bravo's hysterical, oddly riveting Inside the Actors Studio never misses an opportunity to suck up to the famous and talented who deign to accept his invitation."
And yet the New York Times doesn't appear to think so, as in tommorrow's Sunday Times Magazine Edward Levine interviews him in the "DOMAINS" section, where Levine's dough is earned the hard way.
Gargantuan was the name dropping going on at that little tea party. Since I was called on my bull, let me be the bull rattling the china at that pleasant Times Magazine interview; allow me to bring some Minoan chaos to Europa's ordered walk in the meadow. And so, on the principle of "takes one to know one" we -- the shamed author of the infamous "interview with myself" -- will grade Our Man Lipton, on how good he is at self promotion. Edward Levine's Lipton interview begins thusly:
"Workout: I do Pilates. I actually trained with Joseph Pilates himself and his wife, Clara. This was in the mid-1960's, and it was a thing for dancers then. When Joe died, a group of us bought his gym for his widow. I still do Pilates downstairs, all the mat work. I don't need an instructor. I could teach it myself. Not that I look thin these days. I sit too much and eat too much."
(diva-like whisper) He doesn't need an instructor; he could teach it himself. (with this, The Corsair presently resumes his very sorry indeed "snarky-growly" Lou Grant impression with light touch of Ugandan accent about the "o's"). The Corsair gives Lipton an A regarding his "gym" grade on the self-promoting art of talking publicly about the fact that -- yes -- you do indeed work out. The only fault contained therein is that he didn't talk publicly about working out in front of a mirror, or, better yet, a window facing out towards the public on, say, the Lower East Side or the Meatpacking District or even out in Hells Kitchen, where the biker gangs don't take kindly to that sort of thing. Now, that would have been de trop, but not too trop, I think. The grade could have fallen to an A-Minus had he simply said he used Pilates, which is, quite frankly, a little 2003, but Lipton recounted a clever little anecdode of good times shared with Joseph Pilates, or "Joe", as Lipton intones gravely, hinting at mortality, making us all seem just a little bit more uncool in that world that Lipton, and Lipton alone, so excellently occupies. Riding on that "Joementum," buying the gym is a bit much, almost too put on, but it worked -- mainly because he can buy gyms for grieving widows. Very Conrad Bain as Mr. Drummond in Diffr'nt Strokes.
Levine continues in the interview:
"Favorite household chore: I do very few things in the world well, but one of the things I do well is frame and hang pictures. I am most fastidious about my pictures. I go around straightening them all day."
The Corsair grades Lipton a C on that one. A solid C. The modesty rings false, bro, and I should know. This is the same thing I went and done did with that interview of myself. This is bigger than the both of us, Jamesy (slaps around a sloppily constructed hand made effigy of James Lipton): It's not about the mundane you ... it's about the people you know (grabs effigy and points out well beyond the fourth wall of comedy, and towards "the stars" with a "nurtured in the wilderness" look) and all that powerful juju that you spout out on tv that involve them ... do it for the children, James. That you straighten pictures is not as interesting as who is in those pictures, James. Who, James, (shakes a voodoo effigy of Lipton, looks confused) who ...?!
The interview goes onwards:
"Pre-show ritual: We shoot on Monday nights. I will already have done two weeks' research. Then Friday morning through Monday afternoon I am incommunicado. My wife and I will dine and talk, but those four days are sacrosanct. I am in my study preparing my questions. I print out my blue cards at around 4 on Monday afternoon."
Erm, a B. He communicated "incommunicado." Which ... we like, I guess. Somewhat.
Next:
"Post-show ritual: Often the guest and I have dinner afterward. I don't eat before the show. We go to Elaine's, and we eat and talk until 1 or 2 in the morning. We did it with Harrison Ford and Mike Myers; Charlize Theron and her mother; and John Travolta."
Fuck, an A-Plus grand slam, Lipsky. We can forgive the unfortunate reference to John Travolta and Mike Myers because through that thicket he leads us, gently, by the hand, to a tasty slice o' A-Listers, like: Charlize Theron and Harrison Ford jammed into the same thought with Elaine's. Shmears.
Next:
"Favorite outfit: My wife has to put me together. Sartorially, I am a disaster. I have no taste. I am from Michigan. I am a Midwesterner with Midwestern taste."
Hmmm. We will admit that the red-state thing should have fucked with his GPA. But he was bold about it. That Midwest comment so falsely articulated radiated just the right amount of authenticity. It reminded me of my Grandfather's homebrewed bannana beer back in Uganda. James Lipton, seems to be shouting out to the indifferent, Sartrian universe, that he is not afraid of his roots. Lipton is at one with his inner Americana. Although James is actually so Chardonnay -sipping-and-Brie-munching University-professor-blue-state-type that it hurts, he's not afraid to admit he was born in the heartland, most likely munching a cheeseburger and clutching at a gun as he emerged triumphantly from the afterbirth, crawling towards Tinseltown with stars in his eyes. And although he has risen to the heights that only John Travolta's jet can presume to attain, James is still "down" with the common man. And mentioning the old ball-and-chain, the long-suffering Mrs. Lipton added depth to his little performance of self. I'll give an controversial A to this "revelation", paced very well in the story.
Again:
"Luxury he can't live without: Our home in Bridgehampton, without question. It is my oasis, my salvation."
Oh, A, buddy boy. An A answer if there ever was one, Mr. Oasis (smiles admiringly); Mr. Salvation (taps effigy on the back). Bridgehampton is not the Hamptons, and that's good, bacause the Hamptons is filled with Soprano's-type-brokers who usually snack on strippers, but come Friday after Memorial Day, try, in vain, to munch on that late twentysomething Manolo Blahnik-type weekend gold digger (fake waves) that is way -- oh, so very way -- out of their league. The Hamptons is so over. But the artistic-literary Bridgehampton is forever. It is the new P-Town.
More!
"Car: A Mercedes S.U.V. I love that car. I'm not a P.C. person. I sit there royally in my S.U.V. and never think about the gas consumption."
(BZZzzzz) Ahhh *all disappointed*, sorry about that, James, but we have a wondeful consolation prize for you backstage: a B-Plus at best. A Mercedes SUV would have been an A-Plus answer back in 2002, but the war, the WMDs ... uhhh, no. A Toyota Prius was the answer we were looking for, James. So sorry.
"Oscar-night plan: I'm going to the Vanity Fair party in L.A. I went last year. If you are not nominated, and obviously I am not, the worst thing in the world to have to sit through is an awards ceremony. So I watched it at the party.
An A. It would have been an A-Plus but for the fact that James forgot to mention Graydon Carter. In fact, I think it is actually trademarked as the "GraydonCarterOscarParty (TM)" -- or something along those lines. Still, this was a respectable showing for a self-proclaimed Midwesterner.
"Biggest shock of his life: I wrote the book and lyrics for a musical called 'Sherry,' which opened and closed in 1967. In the aftermath, the orchestrations disappeared, but they turned up in the Library of Congress in 2000. On Feb. 24, Angel Records is bringing out an album of the show with Nathan Lane, Carol Burnett, Bernadette Peters, Tommy Tune and Mike Myers."
Nathan Lane and Bernadette Peters are so Theater royalty. A Solid A-Plus. Tommy Tune may have been a bit much, though, but I'm not buying that line of argument.
Anyhoo, Lipton goes on, even doing the Proust questionaire, saying his favorite word is honor. Hmmm. Not bloody likely, I'm afraid, try: FAME, or any derivative with similar connotation .... but check the interview out anyway here.
Who Will Be Kerry's Running Mate
Don't you know that Todd Purdham of the NY Times could have been waay ahead of the curve had he just logged into The Corsair back on February 2, 2004, when I gave my Veep picks for Kerry, which look alot like his. But nooo ... Anyhoo: we're not mad. But just to show how mighty our crystal ball is -- and we are not talking to political insiders like Purdham is -- let me "republish" my picks. Which, like I said before, look alot like Purdhams, although mine are about 2 weeks earler. Hmm. The Corsair as mightier than the Old Grey Lady ... we like, we like!
Feb 2, 2003 redux:
Okay, barring a strong John Edwards win in South Carolina and a strong Clark win in Oklahoma, you can gag the Democratic side of this election season with a fork, because, my little pomegranates, it's done, and John Kerry will likely be the nominee. (ed note, Feb 14, 2004: he prolly still will) But who will Kerry pick for Veep? Here are some thoughts:
Max Cleland. The Corsair believes that he is the likely choice for a running mate. Pros: From Georgia, brings the South back into the mix ... former Senator ... triple amutee war hero would make a strong veterans campaign with Kerry -- and Vets are liely Republican voters ... expert on Homeland Security (big plus, as national security is a Republican stronghold) which Bill Clinton in a closed door meeting warned that the nominee must be strong on ... strong on health care ... could humiliate chicken hawk Cheney in a debate
Cons: Health might be an issue. (ed note: Feb 14, 2004: it's a fucking long ass sojourn through the country for a Veep, from Labor Day till the election -- can Cleland do it? I think so. Odds on favorite)
Gary Hart Pros: Vast intellect, PhD, Oxford, Political Philosophy ... wise from his time out in the political wilderness ... Strong in the Southwest ... devastating debator Cons: Old adultery charge may still stick in the Bible Belt ... may be more useful to the Democratic Party in a Senate bid against the very weak Ben Knighthorse Campbell ... Possible Secretary of State, a la his hero, Jefferson (ed note: Feb 14, 2004: with Drudge infused affair allegations riding the ethers, stick this pick with a fork, baby, it's done)
John Edwards. Pros: Young up-and-comer, would play well with Kerry, lookswise ... Could bring the South, providing he can win the South Carolina primary and show strong in Arizona and Oklahoma ... has a base in the Dem party ... ferocious debator honed from years as a trial lawyer taking on corporate powerhouses who, often, pleaded to settle out of court rather than face Young Edwards.
Cons: Young, inexperienced ... former trial lawyer with a mile long money trail to their lobbies. (ed note Feb 14, 2004: after Cleland, this one is the hot pick, though the Edwards camp is seething about the hot mike Kerry comment that Edwards, "can''t even win his own state." Will Edwards bite the bullet, silence raging campaign staff and be a good Veep for the good of the party and himself?)
Bill Richardson Pros: Governor of ultra-crucial New Mexico ... Latino ... former UN Ambassador and seasoned diplomat would give international cooperation credit points to ticket
Cons: None. (ed note: Feb 14, 2004: hot like salsa)
Wesley Clark Pros: Longshot, but if he wins big in Oklahoma and the conservative Southwest he could be in the cut ... General would give strong military backing to ticket ... would humiliate chickenhawk Cheney in a debate ... strong with African-Americans
Cons: Too closely tied to Bill Clinton, who wants Hillary '08, which may be an issue. (ed note: Feb 14, 2004: Wes is bitter as the Clintonistas dumped his ass as soon as he started looking like yesterday's donuts. Could be Sec of Defense in a Kerry White House. An effective military attack dog. Will work well with a Cleland Veep)
Dick Gephardt Pros: Outside of Cleland and Edwards, the most likely running mate ... most popular pol in pivotal swing state Missouri ... would be perfect for a Kerry-Gephardt Northern labor-veterans strategy against a Bush South ... comes with the backing of labor, a Democratic must needs ... a truly good guy who dropped out and endorsed Kerry early: he did the right thing
Cons: Wooden on the stump, charismatically challenged (ed note: Feb 14, 2004: this ticket may be too damn Northern top heavy. Could be the greatest and most powerful Sec of Labor in US history in a Kerry White House)
Evan Bayh Pros: Young up and comer, popular moderate Democrat from a Republican state ... would look good stumping with Kerry ... strong political family ... Would play well in Bush states ... hugely ambitious for national office, a quick study
Cons: A long shot ... may not even be able to deliver Indiana, his home state, against Bush (ed note: Feb 14, 2004: not bloody likely, but it would harken to the Tom Sawyer-Huck Finnish days of Clinton-Gore '92)
Bob Graham Pros: Most Aggressively Campaigning for this position ... got out early ... most popular elected official in CRUCIAL Florida ... Senate Intelligence Committee Cons: Bad ticker ... charisma challenged. (ed note: Feb 14, 2004: The Corsair believes that Graham, who lusts after this position so badly that our computer screen is blurred, prolly had a deal with the Dean peeps, so he may be radioactive to Kerry; then again loyalty, in politics, is mobile, like la donna)
Thursday, February 12, 2004
An Interview of Ron Mwangaguhunga by Ron Mwangaguhunga
What's your name?
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present an interview with Ron Mwangaguhunga
What's the Ron short for? Ronald?
It's short for Irony, the "I" and the "why" are silent.
Is that African?
Ugandan, I was born in Uganda, raised there, and London briefly, then Ottawa, Canada (The Corsair shivers) and Manhattan.
Sounds like you were you a military brat
Close. I was a diplobrat, a culturally significant animal that shares many of the same character traits. My dad was Uganda's Consul to the Embassy in Canada in the early 70s, then Ambassador to the US and finally the UN in the late 70s, while chairing the UN's Law of the Seas Commission. Growing up in the shadow of the UN in the 70s is about as idealistic as it gets. At the dinner table we spoke of Human Rights and The Year of the Child.
What was growing up in Canada as a Ugandan like?
Fucking cold, hombre. Wicked cold. And Canada in the 70s was kind of like Kentucky on ice. Lots of country and western on the radio, for some odd reason and people had CB radios in their living rooms. Trucker culture was very big there. I grew up to Dolly Parton's Jolene , Crystal Gayle, Johnny Cash tunes. And it was wild up North: humungous coyotes and coy dogs and wolves would wander into the city often, with patchy fur and tongues dragging, which, for a morsel-sized tidbit of a Ugandan boy, is kind of scary. I believe we were the first black people anyone in the town had ever seen. We did a good job representing, I must say. And, to this day, I get along with white people. White people like me.
And you went to the UN School in Manhattan
Yup. Dustin Hoffman's daughter was one year ahead of me. I should have scored her, but I was far too concerned with drawing pictures of dinosaurs at the time. You can imagine that she was very popular after Kramer vs. Kramer swept the Oscars. Those UN kids were fucking sophisticated. Everyone saw the Oscars, the major sporting events, the Presidential addresses, and discussed them. I believe some Kindergarteners actually had briefcases, but I may just be lying. The older kids did what rich sons and daughters of powerful people did in the 70s -- they went to dicos and fucked.
Very internationalist, this school. We sang Native American folk songs, did karate in gym class, studied world art: it was about educating possible world leaders and all that. The conservative hilbillies who oppose internationalism should look at the languages and music and literature curricula at the UN School before they express their own aggressive ignorance. (Ed Note: In retrospect I can see that this line earned me the hate mail, but bear in mind it was written in the heat of the build up to the Iraq War)
You went to college in Vermont.
Right, Marlboro College, which had a large proportion of studious, beautiful kids dressed in LL Bean pajama tops and faded blue jeans, talking contemporary philosophy and comparative literature. We did a lot of cross country skiing and amateur astronomy at our own planetarium -- of course, there were monsterous amounts of the "sticky ickey." It was Vermont.
It seemed like the thing to do. Marlboro was Secret History by Donna Tartt without the murder. I wanted to be a writer. I transferred out to go to Saint John's College, where I immersed myself in the Classics and Ancient Greek, then I went back to Marlboro and studied Literature and Philosophy. You'll see scattered references, like archaic ruins, alluding to the classics in my blog. I have to get my monies worth somehow.
When did the 80s end?
Somewhere in Secret History Donna Tartt says rightly that the magical weekend always officially ended (for kids of the 70s) with the Wonderful World of Disney, at 7pm on Sunday night. That's when one did one's homework. Officially the 80s ended the moment Rob Lowe gave Demi Moore his St. Elmo's Fire speech. The decade ended when Billy intoned: "This isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it. But the joke was on them. There was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep 'em going when times got tough. Just like you're making up all of this. We're all going through this. It's our time on the edge." Just like that with that gravelly world-weary voice: it's our time on the edge. And with that, the 80s abruptly ended as Billy took the Greyhound bus out of Georgetown with his loaded six string on his back. Lowe always knew that you leave a party while the gettings good: look at how he exited the West Wing before it jumped the shark.
So you've heard about the Kerry affair?
Alleged affair. Who hasn't. It's today's shadenfreude. If it is true, it won't help Dean, who supposedly chose to fight on in Wisconsin because he was privy to the info. If it is true, it will help John Edwards, whom I have always believed is the strongest candidate to tackle Bush. (Ed Note: This turned out as a hoax)
What's up with your obsession with RZA?
He's crazy like Swayzee. He's like the wind. Crazy people are interesting. Plus he feeds his kids colloidal silver -- hello? His kids are going to look pretty Smurfy pretty soon, because colloidal silver turns you blue.
What's up with the site design? It makes my eyes bleed
Hey, The Corsair is no frills. I'm a content man. What? You don't like the pea soup and electric blue motif? (Ed Note: If you remember, this site used to be designed really badly)
No. And what's up with speaking in the third person like that. And what's a Corsair?
The Corsair was sort of a Spy Magazine in nineteenth century Denmark. They attacked one of my favorite philosophers, Kierkegaard, in a way that remarkably anticipated the way tabloids attack the famous today in this age of shadenfreude. I like to think we are continuing in the tradition of The Corsair, but that I would have incorporated Kierkegaard's critique of our snarky democratic leveling and asked him to join the masthead. Kierkegaard was an OG blogger -- real old school. Hegel was his nemesis. It was on like Grey Poupon when those two slung the snark.
Are you crazy?
No, that's a misconception; I'm eccentric. I do yoga. I am opinionated. I like cheesy celebrity gossip and Herodotus. Annie Lennox told Time Magazine this week that she thinks of herself as a "thought factory." I like that. (Ed Note: The pretentious meter goes off the charts on that one, guys, sorry)
You're kind of all over the place. What's your mandate?
I cover media, gossip, fashion, politics, tv, fashion, classical civilizations -- a little bit of everything, fo' shizzle. It's a bonfire of the vanities every day at Corsair. I am going to try and incorporate the business world more into this also.
What's with the Cutty Sark?
Like most writers, I drink copiously. It was said at Saint Johns that I in my brief time there I drank the equivalent of the Chesapeake in gin and tonics. I don't dispute the claim. Cutty Sark is my beverage of choice. And no, I don't get paid to say that.
What are you like?
Shy, very shy, always flirty with the ladies, grave, African, occasionally amusing, scruffy -- I sport a "nurtured in the wilderness" look. A cross between David Chappelle and Mircea Eliade.
How long have you been blogging?
Since October 2003.
Do you like people to correct you?
I do. I'd rather have someone email me that I misspelled the name of Sofia Copolla, like a fine reader from CBS Marketwatch did, rather than look like an ass with the name out there. Better a correction than the 8 to 10 pieces of hate email I get.
And what's your obsession with Bill Murray?
The first movie I ever saw was Meatballs, and he is really interested in Gurdjieff, which I am too, and have been for close to a decade. Bill can do no wrong as far as I'm concerned. He is the coolest man in America.
Presumably you've worked in the media world
Presumably. I've either worked at or written for The Nation, New York Magazine, Paper, New York Press, former NYC classical radio station WNCN, Fashion Week Daily, National Review Online, Sonicnet, which was absorbed by MTV Interactive, and MacDirectory, where I was editor in chief.
What do you like?
You mean aside from Naomi Campbell and the Max Mara models? I'm, assuming you mean blogs. As far as blogs go, I like the usual. Choire Sicha really made me laugh about a week ago when, as an aside, he mentioned that NY Social Diary had blacks in the party pictures, which is unusual to say the least. I must say here that I like David Patrick Columbia and he has had nice things to say about my site, but the Upper East Side that he often covers is, well, you know. Newyorkish is the sweet spot. Socialite Life is a place I frequent. I think Elizabeth Spiers is a hottie. I love Lowculture, actually I am an addict. I am a Lockhart Steele addict as well. And TMFTML and Uncle Grambo and his quest to broaden the english language. And I read Musto on line, and Rush and Molly and Page Six. And Old Hag. And Romenesko and VH1's Best Week Ever Blog. Oh dear, I hope I got everybody. That Jen Chung of Gothamist ... yummmy. And Memefirst. We love memefirst. I like Bunsen too. (Ed Note: This is massive ass kissing, on a cosmic scale, of which I am now ashamed, but I was new, at the time, and needed to kiss the right as to get me where I am today, which is somewhere in the Middle of the heap. Not my finest hour)
What would be your ideal media job?
Writing for Jon Stewart or VH1 or Trio or -- gasps -- Dave Chappelle might be fun. But everyone writing in NY who writes wants to do that. That's like saying, oh, I'd love to write and executive produce a drama for HBO. Like, you and everyone else, tough guy. But I do. If my boss is reading this, my current job is my ideal media job.
Spy was obviously an influence.
Spy and Spiers, Taki, Gore Vidal, Nabokov, Basquiat and Alan Thicke. Thicke of the Night was big with me. Just kidding. The Big Blue Marble and Land of the Lost and the Figure 8 Schoolhouse Rock Song were big with me; figure 8 got me wondering about infinity and eternal recurrence. My questions on the nature of Time, however, were somewhat resolved in a gentlemanly stalemate over the tv show Voyagers, featuring Meeno Peluce as a corsair who defied the linearity of time. Rock on Meeno Peluce. (And, RIP, Jon-Eric Hexum)
What other TV Shows?
Oh, lots: The Edge of Night, Upstairs/Downstairs, Poldark, The Linda Carter Variety Show, Good Times, Sherman Hemlsley on The Jeffersons, the first black self made millionaire on tv that didn't take over a third world country by junta -- actually every black man between 25 and 35 in America was influenced by Sherman. He's like the black Jesus. Fame the TV Show, I always wonder why they don't put repeats on Trio or VH1, that was a great show in the first few seasons. James at 15 is another show that I cannot imagine has evaporated: "It is so choice. If you have the means I highly suggest picking one (DVD) up." Very tender. Kiss Meets The Phantom ... too many to name. But I, Claudius was the watershed event. I wouldn't have studied the classics if not for that. And the Hardy Boys, dark. The whole ground of being of the 70s had that dark gritty urban vive to it: from Baretta to OPEC.
And what about movies?
Ingmar Bergman is my personal Jesus. Fucking haunting, that man. Watching his movies makes me hungry because you burn so many calories paying attention to the music, the emerging themes, the lighting, that fucking abrupt Sven Nykvist close up. Bergman also has this High Serious vibe about him that is attractive. Not many people nowadays approached art with a Rembrantian reverence, just look at a punk like Andy Warhol. He's a very strange Northern wind twisting through the labyrinth of Western art. Autumn Sonata, Cries and Whispers, Shame and From The Life of the Marionettes are works of art every bit as great as anything done by Vermeer or Josquin de Pres. Last week's NY Times Arts and Leisure said that Bergman is spooky, and he is: spooky like Jaime Summers pulling off the face of a fembot.
Music tastes?
The earlier the better. Classical implies after Mozart, and that's too late for me. Early early music at the root of the musical impulse is what I am after. Aside from the random Schubert or Wagner piece, music has been going downhill since the middle 18th century. I love Medieval and Renaisance music. It has charm and I love the embroidery. Give me some Monteverdi drama, or Dietrich Buxtheheude and I'm raring to go. I also love world folk music, especially Corsican polyphony, it is very pure; then there's East African traditional music, and Tibetan chants that sound like mountain wind, Russian Orthodox chant. And freeform jazz and John Cage when I'm smoking the sweet leaf, which is increasingly rare as I am now over 30, and it is a well known fact that if you smoke weed after 30 something is wrong with you. Of course, for fucking and dancing one needs the requisite Mobb Deep. One can't fuck properly to Philip Glass.
Books?
In no particular order: Ada or Ardor by Nabokov, which is complicated, but once you work out all the family relationships, it gets fun. The Forbidden Forest by Eliade. The Forbidden Forest is like a bouillabaisse or a cassoulet.
It changes depending on the season you read it. I broke up with my fiance and the book had special meaning for me, and I just rred it a few weeks ago and the book -- or me -- was dramatically different. Like a bouillabaisse with white wine in winter as opposed to one with beer in the summer. I adore John Fowle's Magus and Sophocles Oedipus at Colonus.
Will you sell out?
Depends on how you define it. Will I jump at the chance if, say, Trio or GQ asks me to be their official blogger, or one of the cable networks offers me a footstep in the writing door. Or if Dave Chappelle or John Stewart wants me as a writer? Of course. I'd like to be recognized for the work I put in here. But will I alter or change my content? Never. Well, I won't use cursewords. But I like what I do now, which I don't want to say, they let me do my blog at work, just so long as I make my deadlines. But in the future I want to write for TV.
Who would you most like to take on a desert island with you.
Oh, without a doubt Helena Christiensen. Helena Christiansen is proof that there is a Divine Intelligence shaping the destiny of man. God, she's fucking incredibly gorgeous. And Naomi Campbell, I don't care how skanky my friends at Page Six say she is. I'd just wear a suit of armor.
Thanks
No problem. Pour me a glass of The Sark on your way out.
(The Corsair will not be "published" tomorrow due to mi vida loca. Sorry)
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Samuel L. Jackson's Subway Nightmare
In the March 2004 FHM Magazine, Samuel L. Jackson tells this harrowing tale of the evil subway. A "very special" Corsair:
" I was riding the A train late at night. I was getting off the train and there was a woman in front of me who had some shopping bags, and one broke. I stopped, very un-New York like, and helped her pick up her stuff. When the door closed, I had one foot in the subway, and one on the platform. Luckily for me I was in the last car. As the train took off, I was snatched off by my feet and my body twisted, ripping all the shit in my knee. I was dragged along, dodging the poles and I couldn't get my shoe off. Eventually somebody pulled the emergency chord which stopped the train. I didn't find out until a year later when I was in court that the reason it took so long to pull the chord was that the guy who did was on crutches."
Trump Loves Pennies
"I'm not a big fan of the handshake ... I think it's barbaric, shaking hands, you catch colds, you catch the flu, you catch this, you catch all sorts of things." If you identified Donald Trump as the author of this oft-repeated riff then you are dead on.
The trouble is that it doesn't mesh with a comment he made to FHM in the March issue. Check out this slice:
Trump: If I see a penny on the sidewalk, I always pick it up, because, psychologically, I want to do that."
FHM: Seriously?
Trump: Absolutely. I do it all the time. That's the way I am.
Okay, leaving aside the fact that this is utter and complete bullshit, lets zero on the whole penny-hygiene thing. Donald Trump, worth, roughly $2 billion bending over, ass akimbo, picking up Abe Lincoln's from the gritty expectorate laden Midtown streets. And yet he will not shake hands?
Priceless.
Smackdown: Dick Morris vs Bill Clinton
From Behind the Oval Office, by Dick Morris p. 64-5:
"At about midnight, (then Governor Bill)Clinton joined Hillary, Gloria Cabe, his campaign manager, and me in a cozy breakfst room off the kitchen. My polling (for a 1990 gubernatorial reelection fight) showed that McRae offensive (Bill's ooponent) had dropped Clinton's share vote to a meage 43 percent. Generally, when an incumbent's share of the polls dropped below 50 percent in the polls, it means he is likely to lose ... Clinton's temper got the better of him. Exhausted, worried, and angry, he exploded. 'You got me into this race,' he screamed, 'so you could make some extra money off me. That was the only reason. And now you give me no attention, no attention at all. I'm about to lose this election, this primary, against a nobody' ... Clinton has a terrible temper ... In pain and facing that harsh criticism, I lost my temper too. If he was too hasty in his criticism, I was too sharp in my reply. Storming out of the breakfast room through the kitchen toward the door outside, I rallied, 'Thank you, thank you, thank you. You've just solved my problem. I'm getting shit from Atwater and shit from Lott for working for you, and now I can solve my problem. Go fuck yourself. I'm quitting your goddamn campaign, and now I am a free agent. I can be a fifty state Republican and don't have to take your shit.'
"Clinton charged up behind me as I stalked towards the door, grabbed me from behind, and wrapped his arms around me to stop me from leaving. I slipped to the floor. Hillary helped me to my feet. The moment I stood up Clinton became apologetic. 'Don't go, don't go I'm sorry. Don't go, I;m sorry,' he said as I walked out the door, slamming it behind me.. Hillary ran after me to calm me down. She put her arms around my shoulders and walked me around the grounds of the mansion. "Please forgive him," she pleaded. 'He's under so much pressure. He didn't mean it. He's very sorry. He's overtired, he hasn't slept well in days. He's not himself. He values you. He needs you,' she repeated.
"I calmed down enough to drive to my hotel, and I called Eileen (his wife) shaking in rage. Later Hillary called to tell me how much Bill wanted me back. Then he came on line to apologize ... I couldn't leave Clinton three weeks before his primary, but from then on I dealt with him in a formal, almost frosty way. I stopped calling him Bill, always adressed him as Governor, and left when our meetings were over rather than hang around and chat."
RZA is Crazy
The Corsair has many media obsessions but one of his favorites is RZA. The RZA is crazy. Nutso. He eats ungodly amounts of colloidal silver, even proffering it to his offspring need we say more?
One day RZA and his babies are going to turn blue from a colloidal silver overdose and then people will take me seriously. Anyhoo: here's what he had to say to FHM:
FHM: How strong is your Kung Fu?
RZA: "Strong, but I've never used it. One of my uncles trains CIA agents. He was offended I was learning from someone else, so he showed me this one move. He said, 'I could cripple you.' I believed him but he had to prove it. I was hurt for three months."
Okay ... leaving aside the implausibility that one of RZA's uncles is in the intelligence gathering business, how many people out there have familial relations that whisper Moon Knight-like threats. Being family is not about crippling one another. The interview concludes:
FHM: Is there an RZA sex tape out there?
RZA: I don't leave evidence like that. I form the lense with my hand, look through it and tape record with my mind.
What-the-fuck?!
Reba McEntyre Calls in Sick
Medialife reports that country music crooner Reba is unhappy with her salary at WB. Does anyone watch this drivel:
"Reba McEntire has called in sick to the WB Network at least twice in the past month, stating that she could not film episodes of her sitcom 'Reba' due to a 'family emergency' in Oklahoma. Rumors have now surfaced that McEntire is displeased with her current salary, but she is expected to return to work today without having renegotiated her contract."
Hmmm. What would that phone call sound like?
Executive Producer Allison Gibson: Hello?
Reba: H'lo, Allison?
Allison: Yes, Reba? Reba? We are going to start shooting in ten minutes. Where are you?
Reba: Uhm, My uncle who trains CIA agents in Oklahoma's trailer done blew up. He was making crystal meth and something ignited.
Allison: (skeptically) Yes, well, I'm sorry to hear that. This wouldn't have anything to do with your salary.
Reba: Uhm. It might.
Allsion: What's wrong.
Reba: I just don't think someone on tv should be making $8.50 an hour.
Allsion: This isn't tv, Reba, it's the WB.
Adam Moss at New York
Via Gawker via Mediabistro we learn that NY Times culture czar is replacing that punchy paige boy haircut Caroline Miller at New York. The Corsair is not really happy about this, as Adam Moss had the disgusting little habit when he was editor at the New York Times Magazine of running cover stories on African and African Americans as alien species to be observed under a (makes quote marks with fingers) "concerned" liberal microscope, the African American "down low" AIDS piece, the impoverished adopted Sudanese immigrant story, the Nigerian women about to be stoned story and, of course, the Death Row Gangsta Rap cover stories are hallmarks of the Adam Moss school of editing.
We hope that Adam Moss doesn't bring that kind of shit to New York Magazine.
GroupHug.US
A confession from grouphug.us:
"I'm female-19, on my way to being very well educated and a good citizen.
I love violence. Violent movies turn me on like you cannot believe. Kill Bill I was this amazing sexual experience for me. All the guys I'm attracted to are either really gifted martial artists or talented in some other sort of violent activity like boxing.
This attraction worries me."
And:
"On the outside I'm very humble, but inside, I know I rule a lot."
Also:
"I would never go through with it, but I have a fantasy about my teacher. He recently had his 30th birthday. I'm 17. He acts flirty with a few girls he teachers, I'm one of them. He plays with my hair alot. Even though he's happily married, I want so badly to seduce him. He's told me I'm good-looking, that I have great skin, he likes my hair a certain way...he's blown me a kiss during class before, as well.
"I don't think he'd go through with it, either...but I want so badly to know what he thinks of me. I want him to want me, like I want him.
"I feel like such a jerk."
And who could leave out:
"i have a summer job working in corn feilds with a bunch of other people. over the years i have perfected taking a dump while walking through the field"
Good times. Grouphug.us
Whatever Happened to the NY Press?
The NY Press used to be an interesting read -- all snarky and conservative and above all relevant -- and now it has become an Eastern European literary magazine. What happened! I once even wrote an article on The Great Books for them a la Alan Bloom. It was the anti-Village Voice, young, angry, smart and media centric; low on facts, hard on rhetoric: New York Press was the Zeitgeist, it was a dissonant more working class continuation of the Spy Magazine tradition. I miss it, god damn it. Russ Smith sold it for $2 million, but he should have taken the the great Taki Theodoropoulos made him years ago -- $5 million. The worst hangover I have ever had was after a Taki dinner party at Elaine's for sex offender Scott Ritter -- I shit you not. Only, he wasn't a child offender at the time, he was opposing Clinton and Hussein ... it's a loong story. Anyway, the last thing I remember was drinking with Taki and Chris Buckley in the back of Elaine's arguing over the Great Books ... and I woke up very, very sick. Never try to drink a Greek writer under the table. And never, I mean never, try to outdrink Christopher Hitchens ... but that's another story.
Vagina Monologue
Showing off our liberal arts education, my momologue comes from Machiavelli's Discorsi Sopra la Prima Deca Di Tiudo Livio, III, 6: it concerns Caterina Sforza Riario, a great beauty of her day and a woman Machiavelli thaught of fondly, "(Some conspirators) killed Count Giordano, their lord, and took his wife and small children. Since they did not see how they could be secure if they did not become masters of the fortress, and the castellan were not willing to cede it to them, Madonna Caterina (so the Countess was called) promised the conspirators that if they let her enter it, she would deliver it over to them and they could keep the children with them as hostages. With this pledge they let her enter. As soon as she was within, she stood on the walls and berated them for the death of her husband and threatened them with every kind of revenge. And to show that she did not worry about her children, she showed them her genitals, saying she still had the means to make more of them." What an Italian woman! Machiavelli knows how to tell a story, dammit.
Andrew Cuomo: The Art of Losing
"The agony of defeat. It seems magnified in a political election, that modern day crusade and zero-sum game. There is no silver medal award for finishing second. Elections consume body and soul.
"My race was great political theater. I was running last year in a primary to defeat George Pataki, who defeated my father Mario Cuomo. The New York press had choreographed the campaign into an Italian opera in which the son was to avenge the father's death. There was no romance in the opera: father dies, and son dies.
"Political loss is unique in that it is public and pervasive. There is no need to whisper in the kitchen 'honey, I didn't get the promotion' after an unsuccessful political campaign, everone knows you lost.
"For me, the pervasive nature of loss became real one day after my withdrawal from the New York governor's race when I was at a gas station. I pulled into a self service station and removed the gas cap. I was excercising all the deliberate caution not to dirty my suit or my tie, which have a proclivity to position itself as a bib for the gas nozzle. I was attempting my personal innovation: wedging the gas cap into the nozzle to avoid having to hold the handle. As this is not easily done, I made several attempts in which the cap fell down and rolled to some inaccessible spot, causing me to have to retrieve it, moving delicately to avoid dirtying myself.
"At this point I looked across the island to see the customer on the other side watching my exhibition. The patron across the way looked at me and said, 'Boy Andrew, losing really stinks -- you even have to pump your own gas.
"Everyone knew. There was no hiding."
Crossroads, Introducion by Andrew Cuomo.
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
NY Times' Neil Strauss: Porn Writer?
Damn, we had just gotten all up in Neil Strauss' grill on Saturday for describing a rambling Courtney Love phone call as Joycean, and now it appears our New York Times whipping boy du jour, our boy Strauss is trading up from the Old Grey Lady all done up in curlers and wearing her bloomers contrasted with the supple silicon-enhanced porn queen in her prime. Delicious.
That most excellent media duo Rush and Molloy report that Strauss is ghostwriting the pornobiography of "starlet" Jenna Jameson. They write:
"Editors at The New York Times were were, um, taken aback when they learned that music critic Neil Strauss was ghost-writing Jameson's memoir, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star. Actually, says a source, 'They went insane.'
"Now we hear that Strauss has been talking with Jameson about appearing in her next movie as a male nurse. Our snitch says that Strauss won't be joining in the groaning and groping. Still, it's bound to cause concern on W. 43rd St.
"A Times spokeswoman says Strauss and his bosses 'had a frank and thorough discussion of outside activities. We would not agree that the editors went insane, or ballistic. They did point out to Neil, with some emphasis, that our guidelines include this passage: Before accepting a freelance assignment, a staff member should make sure that the tone and content of the publication, Web site or program are in keeping with the standards of The Times."
The Old Grey Lady is respectable, she defines reality. She will not be mocked. La donna e mobile. She wants her journos to be flies on the wall, not guys on the ball. But Hmmm. What would a Strauss-crafted porn script look like, The Corsair wonders.
(fade out)
fade in
1a. INT. HOSPITAL DOCTORS LOUNGE IN THE HOLLYWOOD. DAY
MALE NURSE TO NO ONE IN PARTICULAR
Boy, it's been a while since I've been able to show some young sugar my bedside manner. All I ever see in this place are Old Grey ladies. I'd love to ...
JENNA JAMESON ENTERS IN SHORT SHORTS
I think I took a wrong turn trying to get back to my room
MALE NURSE
No, honey, you took the right turn
JENNA
Oh dear, I can't believe I got lost in this hospital. Can you help me get back to my room? I want ...
MALE NURSE, sort of half-sliding and half-oozing from the chair.
I know what you want, baby.
music seeps
SEX SCENE ONE
They are interrupted by Adam Nagourney YOUNG BUCK, walking in without knocking, with big fake 70s porn moustaches, shortpants and an old USC Film School t-shirt
Oh, excuse me, I was looking for the commisary. I was hankering for a slice o' pie.
JENNA JAMESON
Sweetie, I got all the pie you need right here ...
MALE NURSE
And it's the best kind: Georgia peach!
(Abrupt Sven Nykvist close up on Nagourney)
Nagourney looks straight into the camera, cocks his eye and says:
I'll buy that for a dollar!
Alright, enough. But, come to think of it, The Corsair can understand why The Old Grey Lady would be jealous that her reporters were giving all their "tender mercies" to Jenna Jameson.
JLo and Marc Anthony
Star Magazine, whose publisher Colleen Wyse, incidentally, is out after just 16 weeks on the job, is reporting in their February 11 issue a budding Latino power coupling between JLo and the freshly single Marc Anthony. A veritable Jennthony.
"Star has learned that the couple moved on to a very prestigious LA hotel where they spent the next five days holed up in the Presidential Suite, feasting on room service, watching videos, and, according to an insider, 'got reacquainted romantically.' They then traveled on to Miami a week later where Anthony decamped in the guest suite of Lopez' waterfront mansion. Afraid of being spotted with Anthony in public as 'he is still legally married,' the couple took a private boat, the 'Sea Ray,' out for a ride, were seen hugging and kissing and then, went below deck for more privacy."
Below deck? Sea Ray? Below deck? What? Is Star trying to get the Neil Strauss Best Porn Screenplay award or something?
Anyhoo: While we're on the subject of Star, the Toronto Globe and Mail calls the new profile of IWantMedia.com's Media Person of the Year Bonnie Fuller in Vanity Fair "devastating."
A taste: "Even Fuller's reported best friend, Jane Hess, is quoted as saying, 'She's like a shark.'"
Senator John Kerry's Horoscope
Senator John Kerry, who has had plastic surgery on his chin and has dated Morgan Fairchild as well as the former Mrs. Robert Evans, the American born daughter of Yugoslavia's princess Elizabeth, Catherine Oxenberg, was born under the sun sign of the extremely lucky Sagittarius. And no one of late is so brimming with Machiavellian Fortuna as Kerry, who sat back and watched Gephardt and Dean essentially bitchslap themselves out of contention in Iowa, and now, at this moment of historical exigency, is poised to watch Edwards and Clark do much the same thing over the South. Here is his horoscope for the day of the Virginia and Tennessee primaries:
Sagittarius, for February 10, 2004, Super Horoscope (Berkley Books)
"A kind deed in the morning is apt to attract a pleasant and unusual reward. Your investigative skills should be excellent ... your personal goals should be clearer as today's events validate your direction and strengthen your personal commitment to achieve your personal goal."
And that horoscope doesn't appear to be off, if the lefty Village Voice's James Ridgeway's damning profile of George Bush in 1972 is any indication. (UPDATE: The President has released his military record) Ridgeway writes:
"In Alabama, where George W. Bush supposedly was slaving away on Winton 'Red' Blount's 1972 U.S. Senate campaign in lieu of National Guard duty, he is remembered by a Blount son as a smartass 'cuntsman' from Texas.
"Bush Junior, as he was then called, used to come into Blount's campaign office in Montgomery, prop his feet up on a desk, and blab on about how much he'd drunk the night before, according to a detailed article by New Orleans freelance journalist Glynn Wilson on his Progressive Southerner blog.
"Blount's Belles, a group of young Republican women and Montgomery debutantes who were helping out on the campaign, would fall into a swoon at the sight of young George. 'We thought he was to die for,' said one. But the Blue Haired Platoon, a group of older women campaigning for Blount, referred to Junior as 'the Texas souffl�' because he was 'all puffed up and full of hot air.'"
Charmed, I'm sure. But things really are not going well for the President. His interview with Tim Russert made him look weak and uncertain. The right wing political base is red hot over his policy compromises on immigration, prescription drugs and weopons of mass destruction.
But of course, Senator John Kerry is a fluffy overly ambitious hairdo with zero substance, so it all works out in the end.
Fashion Week Buzz: Day 5
An Oscar De La Renta Model Took a Nasty Spill. This should fill the daily ration of shadenfreude necessary for the well oiled functioning of an "evolved" democracy. Onward:
Dead Animal Alert:
FashionWeekDaily reports Vogue's editor, "Anna Wintour looking maximalist in a beaded suit with fur trim and low heeled suede boots"
And, "Nan Kemper in a fabulous blue leather and fox fur Fendi coat (CH skirt and sweater underneath), and her favorite Manolo Blahnik boots."
And "Catherine (Malandrino�s) compensates for a light lower half with a blast of head warmth: enormous poofs of Davy Crockett raccoon (or was that coyote?) exploding from the models' heads.
And at the Paco Rabanne Golden Age Party, three men dressed in python carrying a baby doll, also dressed in python.
Our gal, Lookonline's Marilyn Mirschner gets the scoop:
"On Tuesday, Oscar de la Renta may have catapulted himself into the 'Hall of Fame' with a show that started - get this - only a mere 15 minutes after it was supposed to begin! Now, that's a record. It's true: while most shows are well over 45 minutes late these days, Oscar's 50- piece presentation was 15 minutes early. In fact, his 1 p.m. show ended before most would have begun. Bravo to Oscar and his associates for pulling that one off.
" ... Carolina Herrera (who says she was inspired by chic European ski resorts of decades past), was really disappointing. In fact, I overheard a fellow show attendee commenting to a companion that it was so bad, it looked like the collection was 'designed by FIT students.' Ouch!"
And WWD's Jacob Berstein and Greg Lindsay have a take on things: "Andr� Leon Talley has made an unusual request this fashion week: he doesn�t want to be anywhere near the front row or the cameras. Part of it is due to the level of, um, scrutiny Talley has been subjected to in the past, but he said he also just wanted to tip his hat to his colleague, sittings editor at large Camilla Nickerson, whose shoot for October�s Vogue is the 'It' reference of the season. 'The whole thing has spiraled out of control' said Talley. And anyway, he said, 'I�m tall. I can see from the fourth row, the scrum or back in the bleachers. It�s not where you sit. It�s the contribution you bring with your ideas and your talent.'�
And the Patron Saint of All Bloggers, that very cute Southern lass, Elizabeth Spiers wraps things up nicely, "After the 17th iteration of 'Honky Tonk Women,' the runway clears. Anna Wintour is sitting on one side of the runway in trademark sunglasses and a bodyguard-protected leather jacket. On the opposite side of the runway sits Glenda Bailey. They have no problem with the front row or cameras."
Basta!
Janet Jackson Goes Nude on CD Cover
Matt Drudge seems to be hyperventilating as he headlines his site, in all caps as usual, "JANET JACKSON TO GO NUDE FOR NEW CD COVER!" Gawker's very cool Choire Sicha captured this hysterical aspect of Drudge's character nicely a while ago.
One: Janet Jackson is not nekkid, but topless, covering her boobies up with her arms.
Two: Out of the corner of the CD you can clearly see that she is wearing low rider jeans.
Three: Calm down Drudge, you are beginning to sound like a housewife from Kansas and not a salty journalist in the Walter Winchell tradition (now you know where he gets that stupid hat from) .
Jim Carrey Versus E! Television
Playboy (March 2004) How do you feel when you see an E! show consisting totally of people like yourself being stalked by the paparazzi?
Jim Carrey: Unacceptable. Way over the edge, man. That channel is now eating its young.
Playboy: What do you say when they ask for an interview?
Carrey: I don't do it.
The Son Also Rises
"My dad (Jack) never talked about his father (Ernest Hemingway). I think there was a tremendous hurt and sense of abandonment there. He loved and respected Ernest, but we weren't given these great gems of stories. It was more like: 'Yeah, well (Ernest) sent me to a whorehouse to lose my virginity.' And how sad is that?"
Mariel Hemingway, Hello Magazine, Feb 10, 2004
Tyson the Thousandaire
Mike Tyson is down to his last $5,000, according to papers filed in US bankruptcy court.
Accroding to Bloomberg:
"Mike Tyson, who earned more than $200 million during his professional career, had $5,553 left in cash on December 31, according to papers filed with the US Bankruptcy Court.
"Tyson, who filed for bankruptcy protection in August, also had $US174,000 in property and equipment and more than $10.2 million in liabilities at the end of 2003."
The Corsair has no comment because he doesn't want to get beat up. Then again, after watching Tyson's last fights, to paraphrase Will Smith (The Corsair gets a wild 80s nostalgic look in his eyes) I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson.
Monday, February 09, 2004
Sir Howard Stringer to BBC?
The sexy but reptilian BBC Washington Correspondent Katty Kay made a rather curious remark in the "tell me something I don't know" section of the Chris Matthews program this Sunday past. She predicted somewhat ominously that Sir Howard Stringer, former head of CBS News, may become the next BBC Director General.
Half awake, sipping from my usual Sunday Kenyan blend of coffee, the idea was intriguing.
Sir Stringer's bio reads, in part:
"Prior to joining Sony, Mr. Stringer had a distinguished 30-year career as a journalist, producer and executive at CBS Inc. As President of CBS from 1988 to 1995, he was responsible for all the broadcast activities of the company including entertainment, news, sports, radio and television stations. Under his leadership, the CBS Television Network became the first network to rise from last to first place in one season. In 1993, in what became one of the most chronicled coups in television history, Mr. Stringer convinced David Letterman to bring his critically acclaimed late night show to CBS.
"From 1986 to 1988, Mr. Stringer served as President of CBS News, where he developed several new programs including the award-winning 48 HOURS, which continues as a primetime hit to this day. Prior to that, during his tenure as executive producer of the CBS EVENING NEWS with Dan Rather from 1981 to 1984, that program became the dominant network evening newscast of its day. From 1976 to 1981, while Mr. Stringer was executive producer of the CBS REPORTS documentary unit, it won virtually every major honor, including 31 Emmys, four Peabody Awards, three Alfred I. duPont-Columbia University Awards, three Christopher Awards, three Overseas Press Club Awards, an ABA Silver Gavel and a Robert F. Kennedy Grand Prize. Among his award-winning programs are THE ROCKEFELLERS, THE PALESTINIANS, A TALE OF TWO IRELANDS, THE DEFENSE OF THE UNITED STATES, THE BOAT PEOPLE, THE BOSTON GOES TO CHINA, THE FIRE NEXT DOOR, and THE CIA'S SECRET ARMY. "
The bookies, however, according to The Sun, also have David Liddiment, Tony Ball, David Elstein, Mark Thomson, Simon Shaps, Dawn Airey and Mark Byford as front runners.
The Corsair goes with Katty Kay on this one: Stringer is the most substantive candidate for the Beeb, which my father, Uganda's former Ambassador to the US, then Uganda's former Ambassador to the UN, listens to religiously.
Fashion Week Buzz: Day 4
Lesson 1: Canada is the New Brazil
Casting agent James Scully, who worked with Kevin Krier this season:
"Canada is the new Brazil this season for models. Daria at IMG is from Canada, so is Heather Mark from Supreme. Daria's the biggest star of the new girls right now: she's a model's model, like Linda Evangelista. She's doing Marc, Zac and all of my shows. Jessica Stam (who goes by Stam) of IMG is from Canada; she's in every show this season. So is Gemma (IMG), who people are booking without even seeing.?
Lesson #2: Anna Wintour Loves Dead Animals
Lookonline's Marilyn Kirschner writes of Anna on Sunday evening, "Anna Wintour looking exceptionally wonderful in a chinchilla jacket."
Anna at Kenneth Cole on Friday, as described by Fashionweekdaily's Tanya Jensen, "Anna Wintour in a knee-length leopard coat and freshly done spring highlights."
Don't be a stranger: we can be like two ships passing in the night: like two models passing on the catwalk: send your votes for what you think Anna's next dead animal will be to: papermag@yahoo.com
Lesson #3: Buzzords
seafoam green, Liza Minelli, clean, elegant, Finola Hughes, Harry Bellafante, citrus, label lover, "I'll see you under the tents", Duran Duran, The Luis Vuitton opening, Tom Ford, tent-tastic, Carson Kressley and Tara Subkoff
Lesson #4: FashionWeekDaily's Suggestions for Midlife Career Changes:
"Their Next Moves: Our suggestions for mid-life career changes:
"Miuccia Prada: Librarian at the Met Costume Institute
"Anna Sui: Rock concert promoter or president of MTV
"Marc Jacobs: Military uniform designer
"Karl Lagerfeld: Hollywood diet doctor
"Martin Margiela: Paparazzo
"Valentino: Governor of California
"Donna Karan: Guru to the stars
"John Galliano: Director of Cirque de Soleil"
And, apropos of nothing, The Corsair has a devastating crush on Helena Christiansen (*heart skips a beat*), one of the most beautiful women in the world.
Basta!
I, Geraldo: On The Road with Jerry Rivers
Apparently, Fox TV's favorite tragedy chaser, Geraldo Rivera will be taking his show on the road to Iraq.
The Corsair managed to snag some of his road trip diaries, which, oddly, morphs from the dialogue of a bad 50s tough guy impersonation so favored by conservative hacks like Peggy "I tell ya" Noonan into an almost imperial prose style:
Day 1: Lots a burkhas: no slim chance of me scoping out the hot tomata's here. You can't get a glimpse of the dames. Can't wait to get back to America. I'll bet Brian Williams doesn't need to do stunts like this to get ratings. Fucking pretty boy. I was once a Wise Man.
Day 2: What am I doing here in the Sunni Triangle with soldiers who distrust me? I should be covering the legal angle of some tragedy, or sitting in a comfy New York studio with Rita Cosby dishing on Michael Jackson. There are trials up the wazoo! Martha, Jacko, Jayson Williams, Robert Blake and Scott Petersen... what am I doing here?
This scenario is turning grey faster than an incoming President's hair in the first year in office.
Day 3: Why was I complaining so the past few days: this is the story of the century: nation building. Ah, the spoils of war. I love the smell of Tikrit in the morning ... it smells like victory. Bismark is said to have once remarked that man can neither create nor direct the stream of time. Nonsense. I, Jerry Rivers, will gather the scoop on Babylon. I am a Wise Man.
Day 4: Have sent Roger Ailes a memo to appoint Annie Liebowitz as my official photographer. I am already practicing bombastic poses in the mirror. We are not going to do this imperialist Waugh travel journo thing half assed.
Day 5: Looking for a good satanic ritual story for my show. Ailes nixed the idea. May need to punch out some Shiites to punch up ratings. Fo shizzle.
Day 6: Ailes said ixznay on the Annie Liebowitz photo shoot of Geraldo of Arabia. He said it wasn't in the budget. Haven't seen so much bad acting since Three Men and a Little Lady. Ailes can pinch a penny till Abe Lincoln squeals!
Day 7: Ya can take the kid outta the Bronx ... &c, &c and all that Jazz. Headed back to Fox studios in New York. Iraq is as distasteful as my torrid, torrid affair with Bette Middler.
Twilight of the B-Listers
Those wacky 3AM Girls blow up Paris Hilton's spot today (I know, that sentence sounds vaguely porny on this end too). Apparently, Paris tried and tried and tried to get into Clive Davis' exclusive pre-Grammy party but was nixed. Cheer up, Paris, The Corsair wasn't invited either.
The 3AM Gals write:
"(The) millionaire hotel heiress had a rude awakening at the weekend when she tried to blag a ticket to record boss Clive Davis's pre-Grammy Awards bash at the Beverly Hills Hotel in LA.
"America's answer to Lady Victoria Hervey found out just how far down the celeb list she was when she tried desperately to get an invite.
"For not only did one fail to materialise, but her name was not on the guest list either.
"Yesterday, a spokesman for Davis said: 'Paris wouldn't be on his guest list. Clive Davis's parties are legendary and his list is for musical royalty.'
"So, in desperation, 22-year-old Paris apparently got on the phone and begged Davis, head of J Records, to let her come. But her pestering didn't impress the music mogul. He was heard telling a companion, 'That girl has been calling me non-stop. Why can't she leave me alone? I don't even know her.'"
But while The Corsair sat back and licked his uninvited wounds, Paris was, well, Positively Parisian. So what does a spoiled girl like Paris do when faced with adversity? She gatecrashed with her boytoy Nick Carter.
Damn, Paris is as ubiquitous on the crimson-gold media landscape as Joe Trippi.
And speaking of Paris, her former B-Lister paramour Joe Francis, the "founder" of the sleazy Decline of Western Civilizationesque Girls Gone Wild videos (Paris vacationed in August in Ibiza with young Joe) is having trouble getting into parties as well, as Deborah Schoeneman writes in New York:
"Francis, who may be worth upwards of $100 million, is under investigation for taping girls he allegedly knew were underage engaging in lewd acts, but true to form, he hasn�t let that stop him from partying. Large bouncers and a conspicuous lack of invitations, on the other hand, have crimped his style. Francis told friends he had a ticket for the Golden Globes ceremony, but he never showed and wasn�t on any of the studios� lists. And we hear he was begging (once again) to get into the after-parties. 'I said no,' says one event planner. 'I don�t even think Playboy would welcome him at their parties.' The planner was right, of course. Displaying a strangely admirable tolerance for rejection, Francis showed up solo to Playboy�s Super Bowl party in Houston. 'He was literally begging to get in. I mean, he was explaining how he�s a celebrity and he needs to walk on the red carpet and explain what�s going on in his life to the press,' says that party�s gatekeeper. Francis�s worst offense, however, was offering to bring Mario Lopez (Saved by the Bell) to get VIP access. 'Needless to say, he never got in.' Francis didn�t respond to our e-mail."
Meanwhile, Paris has been in a suing mood of late. As Medialife writes:
"Reality TV star Paris Hilton got a reality check when her sex life became public knowledge. Now the scheming socialite has sued a Panama-based internet company for $30 million for illegal distribution of her infamously raunchy tape of her cavorting with ex-boyfriend Rick Solomon. The 22-year-old hotel heiress has sued Kahatani Ltd. for violation of privacy, illegal business practices and infliction of emotional distress. Hilton, the star of the Fox reality show 'The Simple Life,' is seeking $15 million in actual damages and $15 million in punitive damages."
There's no such a thing as bad publicity, only too little.
Mugger Russia
Russian Thug Vladimir Putin, former Jesuit John McLaughlin's political object of affection, has done it again. Proving that Stalin was an amateur, he hasmade one of his chief political opponents in next month's election "disappear." Top that, David Blaine!
Oleg Shchedrov writes for Reuters (be careful, Oleg!):
"The bizarre mystery surrounding missing Russian presidential candidate Ivan Rybkin deepened on Monday when a murder inquiry was opened and then quickly dropped."
The Corsair shivers slightly, remebering childhood in Uganda in the 1970s, then continues:
"The disappearance of Rybkin, 57, a fierce critic of President Vladimir Putin on the night of February 5 injected drama into the run-up to a March 14 election in which Putin is widely expected to win easily, securing a second Kremlin term.
"While Rybkin, backed by exiled entrepreneur and Putin foe Boris Berezovsky, has launched bitter attacks on the Kremlin chief particularly for his Chechnya policy, his ratings are very poor. Like other candidates he stands no chance of unseating the highly popular Putin."
Let's hope that there is no foul play involved, although factoring in that outspoken Putin critic Mikhail Khodorkovsky, a billionaire candidate for President, was jailed and beaten ... that's highly implausible.
UPDATE: The candidate resurfaced, no foul play involved. Rybkin's his staff reported Tuesday evening that he had turned up in Ukraine, and Rybkin "told the Echo of Moscow radio station, 'I haven't disappeared anywhere.'
"'I decided not to listen to the radio and TV' for a few days, Rybkin said. 'I decided to go to Kiev to visit friends.'"
"Rybkin, 57, said he was 'shocked' when he read Russian newspapers on Tuesday and saw that his absence was being given wide attention."
Okay, Russia is officially a freakshow.
Ubiquitous Joe Trippi
Joe Trippi is trippin on media appearances this week guesting at McLaughlin's One on One, Hardball and Topic A.
And of course, Trippi was hired by MSNBC as a political analyst. A good career move in DC, it seems, is running a failed Presidential campaign. Look for Al Sharpton to land a Fox show next.


