Saturday, February 07, 2004

Neil Strauss Dumps The Old Grey Lady

Gred Lindsay of WWD informs us that Neil Strauss is giving The Old Grey Lady the old heave 'ho, and it's probably better for all involved in that sordid mess. He'd been doing a three way with Old Lady and Jenna Jameson, but something had to give way, in the , uhm, end. And when it's a choice between and Old Grey Lady and a Young Blonde Starlet, *snaps* well, you know how 'tis. Lindsay explains:

"Neil Strauss, the music critic who signed up to ghostwrite porn star Jenna Jameson�s memoirs without telling his superiors first, is leaving the paper to work on his book projects. 'Neil has resigned, and I have regretfully accepted his resignation,' said cultural news editor Steve Erlanger.

"While Erlanger insisted that the Jameson affair hadn�t come between them, it is certainly hard to imagine the Times tolerating the (fully clothed) cameo in Jameson�s next film that Strauss was reportedly considering. Strauss will theoretically continue to write for the Times as a freelancer, but not regularly, and his critic�s slot will be filled. 'He made the choice to concentrate on these larger projects,' Erlanger said in a telephone interview."

Affair? Coming between them? Larger projects? Why not call a spade a spade Erlanger, Strauss is pursuing larger "assets," if ya nah whatta mean. Silicon enhanced assets, cornbread.

Lindsay continues:

"Besides Jameson�s book, entitled 'How to Make Love Like a Porn Star,' Strauss is writing another book based on his January first-person piece on being tutored in the art of picking up women. Columbia Pictures has already bought the film rights for the low six figures."

Hmmm. I wonder how Strauss decided to leave the Times:



Boy, Man, that Old Grey Boss Lady takes good care of my sorry ass. How cool is that? And older women are insatiable, you can't go wrong. She's okay and East Coast respectable and all that, but I'm a wild and innocent youth. I need to sow my oats with some tighter flesh. I wish I could find someone younger. The Old Gray Lady, she's just a little bit country, and I'm a little bit rock and roll ... (sighs)


I think I took a wrong turn somewhere. This is such a big building.


Nah, honey, you took the right turn


Oh dear, I can't believe I got lost in the men's room. Can you help me get to HarperCollins? I'm writing a hardback ...

NEILL STRAUSS, sort of half-sliding and half-oozing from the chair.

I'll show you a hard back, baby.

music seeps


The two are interrupted by Jayson Blair, YOUNG BUCK, walking in without knocking, prancing around the newsroom wearing a Persian head wrap that covered my face, Kermit the Frog on his shoulders and a giant fake fur coat.

Oh, excuse me, is there anyone in this men's room that wants to swap sexual favors for crack? Are ... -- wait. What are you two doing? That's so hot, it's burning down my master's house.


Sweetie, why don't you come on over here and have a piece of this Metro Section?


Yeah, the more the merrier, it's all Arts and Liesure in here. As they say, all the news that's fit to ...

(Abrupt Sven Nykvist close up as The Old Grey Lady walks in, angry)

What is the meaning of this?!

STRAUSS, BLAIR and JAMESON all look frightened into the camera.

Freeze screen.

70s porn music and fade away.

End credits

Fashion Week 2004 NYC: Day 1

It's fashion week again here in New York City, and that means parties (especially the Louis Vuitton opening party on Monday night and, of course, the Naomi Campbell pr done Carlos Miele show at Gotham Hall on Thursday at 7:30, RSVP, beautiful people all dressed alike (FashionWeekDaily's HEAVILY OVERUSED BUZZWORDS: "Red, strappy, party"), gift bags and gossip.

And speaking of Fashion Week Daily, J.J. Martin and Tanya Jensen write on Day 1:

"What about all that Red?

"Amanda Hearst: I never wear red. It�s so eye-catching. I prefer black or pink.

"Patti Hansen: �When I was little the kids always teased me about my red hair, but now I love it. It�s so striking�it�s like, �Watch out-- Red Alert!�

"Alek Wek: Red puts me at ease. Plus you can�t miss it!

"Bright futures?

Alexandra Richards: I�m only 17 still in high school and living with my mom. But I�d like to come to NY next year�I�m trying to get into Eugene Lang at the New School to study painting�but I don�t want to jinx it by telling you that.

"Overheard on Patty Hansen�s fitted skirt:

�Have you seen her? To me it looks like something she dragged from her closet from 3 season�s ago.

"Sharon Bush on Lauren�s absence from the show:

�She really wanted to do it but she had a commitment at Princeton she could not get out of.�

"Sharon Bush on the show:

�Oh, I loved all of it. I would gladly wear any one of those dresses.�

"Amanda Hearst on her Daily cover.

�Oh my god, I couldn�t believe it when I walked in the tents this morning and saw someone reading it. I love it, I�m thrilled.�

Meanwhile, LookOnline's Blogger Marilyn Kirschner takes the pr firms that members of the fashion press have to deal with down a peg:

"As a longtime member of the press, I've had to rely on PR firms through the years. Since Fashion Week has gotten underway, this relationship has been even more exaggerated and important. Simply put, at this moment in time, they are the bane of our existence, it seems.

"Happily and thankfully, most of the companies (you know who you are) we've had to deal with (for tickets to shows, events, parties) have been nothing but professional, easy to reach, and consistently helpful.

"Of course, there are always exceptions.....without getting really ugly...let's just say, the names could be changed to reflect the real situation:

"Paul Wilmot: Paul Wil 'not'

"Pierre Rouget: Pierre 'Rude' get

"PR Consulting: PR 'In' sulting

"MGI(ed note: Marion Greenberg Inc): MG 'Try'

"Hood Public Relations: 'Should ' Public Relations

"Ogan/Dallal: 'Ugh' an/ Dallal

"Rand.M: 'RanduM'

"Harrison & Shriftman: Harass & Stiffthem

"Okay, I got that off my chest - I feel better already ..."

Snark is good and therapeutic.

Update:" First Lady Laura Bush has been confirmed to arrive at Olympus Fashion Week this Monday. Mrs. Bush will arrive at Bryant Park around 2 p.m. to make a brief presentation and to take a tour of the tents, although she will not be staying for any shows. She is the first First Lady to ever visit fashion week." by Meghan Stier, Fashion Week Daily

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