Ashton Kutcher is 30!
Yeah, his bio says he's 26, but Ashton Kutcher, who plays teenage hearthrob Michael Kelso on That 70s Show, hasn't been a teenager in well over a decade, according to that significant cultural artifact The National Enquirer. He's actually 30 years old!
"According to a bazillion press clippings, actor Christopher Ashton Kutcher was born Feb. 7, 1978, in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. But Los Angeles County Registrar's voter registration records show a Christopher Ashton Kutcher who was born in Iowa and currently residing in Beverly Hills with a birth date of Feb. 7, 1974."
"Pure coincidence? A clerical error? Call us skeptical, but we think not!
"If Kutcher really IS 30, that would make his so-called May-September romance with 41-year-old Demi more like a July-September romance and take some of the sizzle out of the relationship.
"Ashton's representatives insist that he was born in 1978 and when he appeared on 'The Tonight Show' back in January 2003, Kutcher himself confirmed the same thing to host Jay Leno.
"But if that's the case, why do the L.A. voter rolls have him listed as 30? Hmmm, could it be 'The Butterfly Effect' ... or are we just being 'Punk'd'?"
The Corsair feels for Ashton. He became famous for his youth, forst in That 70s Show, then as a boytoy. And in a town of liars, er, I mean actors, getting called on this is pretty lame. But it is just too juicy to ignore. Sorry, biscuit.
(Ed Note: Due to work constraints there will be no blog tommorrow. Sorry)