Penny Lover

"I'm not a big fan of the handshake ... I think it's barbaric, shaking hands, you catch colds, you catch the flu, you catch this, you catch all sorts of things." If you identified Donald Trump as the author of this oft-repeated riff then you are dead on.

The trouble is that it doesn't mesh with a comment he made to FHM in the March issue. Check out this slice:

Trump: If I see a penny on the sidewalk, I always pick it up, because, psychologically, I want to do that."

FHM: Seriously?

Trump: Absolutely. I do it all the time. That's the way I am.

Okay, leaving aside the fact that this naught else but complete bullshit, lets zero in on the whole penny-hygiene thing. Donald Trump, worth, oh, approximately $2 billion by conservative estimates, bending over, fat ass akimbo, picking up Abe Lincoln's from the gritty expectorate-laden Midtown streets. And yet he will not shake your hand?

Priceless.