Saturday, February 07, 2004

Farah Fawcett and Tom Green: Love Connection

The National Enquirer has come up with one of the strangest love connections ever -- a real fuckeroo: Tom Green, the ex-Mr. Drew Barrymore, has apparently been burning the bed of Farah Fawcett, the ex-Mrs. Lee Majors.

Jesus Fucking Christ, Houston, we have a problem: I couldn't have made that up if I tried. I haven't an imagination on that cosmic a scale.

Farah is no stranger to acting kooky: there was that Letterman appearance, the nude bodypainting Playboy thing that ruined her critically acclaimed image, and then the revelation in Joe Eszterhas' American Rhapsody that she peed in public.

The Enquirer's Rick Egusquiza writes:

"FORMER Charlie's Angels star Farrah Fawcett is having a heavenly time with new Angel Drew Barrymore's former husband -- wacky comic Tom Green!
The pairing of the 57-year-old actress with the 32-year-old Freddy Got Fingered star is the latest May-December romance to rock Hollywood since Demi Moore robbed Ashton Kutcher's cradle.

"'Farrah's romance with Tom Green was a shock to say the least,' a close friend of Farrah's family told The ENQUIRER.

"Her former love Ryan O'Neal can't believe it's true. He hopes Tom is sincere about dating Farrah and it's not just for the publicity.

"Her son with Ryan, Redmond, hopes his mother is happy. But he's not thrilled about having Tom Green as a potential stepdad. Who would?

"Ryan's children, Tatum and especially Griffin, are still very close to Farrah. They think it's just another one of Farrah's many bizarre choices in men since splitting from their dad.

"'But Farrah doesn't mind a bit.' Farrah and Tom met at a celebrity poker event and hit it off so well that they had dinner the next night, the friend revealed.

"They've been dating steadily ever since."

I do not know if this is a hoax or not, as Tom was supposedly "dating" his pal, Monica Lewinsky too. Ordinarily I would say that this is Tom doing his usual Tomfoolery meta protopunking, but Farah has got to know that she is on the edge of being laughed out of Tinseltown. She couldn't think that her old school image would be helped by a prank like this. Could she? I mean she is an Aquarius, and, at least from my dating experiences, Aquarian women are way out there ... waaaay out there.

Stay tuned to The Corsair for further developments: same bat time, same bat channel.


Liz Smith sets The National Enquirer straight about its story on the alleged "romance" between Tom Green and Farah Fawcett. Smith writes:

"FARRAH FAWCETT loves a good joke as much as anybody, but the National Enquirer's recent story on her "romance" with comic Tom Green (Drew Barrymore's ex) was a joke gone too far. Farrah says she met Green two years ago with her publicist, and has never seen him since.

"Farrah is, in reality, busy sifting through a mountain of film and TV offers. (Her 'Bobbi Boland' stage effort ended prematurely, but I'm betting she'll tread the boards again.)

"The actress will be in New York during Valentine's week, discussing 'love' on a panel gathered for The Week magazine. Harold Evans, Erica Jong and Edmund White also give their thoughts on what makes the heart flutter."

The Corsair Translator: The Enquirer fucked up, like The Star's JLo Story. Farah wants to do "serious" things, like be on Harry Evans panels and steer clear of the likes of Tom Green.

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