Friday, February 20, 2004

Whatever happened to Slim Goodbody?

True, he was slim. Very slim. Okay, John Burstein was the classic ectomorph geek. But we were wild and innocent youth at the time. What were we to know about cool? But even as a kid, I did pick up a certain ... nervousness. Now, maybe that had to do with a really fast metabolism on his part. Or, maybe it's just the plain fact that dressing up in his mom's panty hose with your innards haphazardly pained on them isn't the best way to make a living. And add on to that the fact that he did this in front of kids. In the name of (makes broad ironical quotation marks with his fingers) "health education."

Said ectomorph with an afro would actually sing these horrible -- horrible -- rockabilly ditties and dance this really spastic jazzercize numbers, chicken legs flapping in the wind, all in full view of kids. How lame is that?

When I was a kid at the UN School it was considered lame to watch Slim Goodbody. Nowadays similar social leprosy could be gained from admitting to the consumption of Benson and Hedges cigarettes, or purchasing a Kenny G album.

For whatever unfathomable reason of the childhood cruelty of my generation, the Yemeni Ambassador's kid at the UN School was considered a geek. Kids are old school like that. Now, in his early 30s, that kid is right about now a mid level official in the tyranny there, taking out all his childhood aggressions on innocent civilians. Shit happens: I can't be held accountable.

Anyhoo: Even that kid -- let's call him the monkeyboy -- he thought Slim Goodbody was lame. That guy. And you know your up shits creek without a paddle if your shtick cannot appeal to the undiscriminating tastes of the Yemeni Ambassor's kid.

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