Friday, April 01, 2005

... And Razzleberry Dressing!


(image via CNN)

Above: NEA grant manque Pat Buchanan's bold anti-empire performance art installation, "A President, Not a Caesar (Salad)".

If Paleoconservative America Firster Pat Buchanan were a salad, we think he would be a "Three Pepper Salad." Why? You ask. Because he's fiery like that, with a dash of sweet white onion on the subject of English as the nation's official language.

Well, a student at Western State University was kind enough to supply some condiments to peppery Pat. According to CNN:

"Commentator and former presidential candidate Pat Buchanan cut short an appearance after an opponent of his conservative views doused him with salad dressing."

Although observers close to the case have ruled out Poppyseed dressing, DNA results are inconclusive as to whether or not any other species of "seed" (Averted Gaze) might have been ... included in the dodgy recipe.

"'Stop the bigotry!' the demonstrator shouted as he hurled the liquid Thursday night during the program at Western Michigan University. The incident came just two days after another noted conservative, William Kristol, was struck by a pie during an appearance at a college in Indiana."

Apparently this protest was for Cesar Chavez's birthday. Though what that has to do with salad dressing propelled at high velocity escapes me.

"After he was hit, Buchanan cut short his question-and-answer session with the audience, saying, 'Thank you all for coming, but I'm going to have to get my hair washed.'

"The demonstrator, identified by authorities as a 24-year-old student at Kalamazoo Valley Community College, was arrested and faces a misdemeanor charge of disturbing the peace. He was released on a $100 cash bond, pending his April 14 arraignment.

"'He could have faced a felony assault charge, but Pat Buchanan decided to not press that charge,' university spokesman Matt Kurz said."

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