Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Peter Doherty: Minute Man


(image via Thisislondon)

Another two minute brother. According to the extremely downmarket NewsoftheWorld, Kate Moss' alleged fiance, the beleaguered and beskanky rocker Peter Doherty, does not -- how does one put it? -- set the sheets on fire:

"JUNKIE rocker Peter Doherty took his railway trolley dolly lover on an express ride whenever she wore her frumpy GNER uniform.

"His new girlfriend Kate Moss has modeled Chanel and Calvin Klein, but a polka-dot blouse, knee-length flannelette skirt and pointy hat are all it really takes to get Pete going, says his sexy French ex, Carole Desbois, 27. "

The punk ass, to his credit, refrained from pimping out this "lover."

"And as usual doped-up Babyshambles star Doherty was on a high-speed line during his rush-hour romps with Carole.

"'He always fancied a quickie when I was dressed in my uniform,' she said. 'I would be pinned against the kitchen table and we would have frantic sex lasting only a few minutes.'"

We are trying very hard not to imagine that lamentable scenario, stewed with synthetics-laced sweat, the spasmodic thrashing revealing vast expanses of pockmarked flesh.

"When Pete ran out of steam she got back into her clothes and raced to catch the 9.30am Kings Cross to Newcastle.

"Pete, 26, has gone well off the rails since he dated Carole in the summer of 2001. The former Libertines frontman has been in rehab fighting heroin and crack cocaine habits and faces blackmail and robbery charges.

"Although he hadn't started mainlining, his use of dope, acid and speed meant he was never a slow train coming with Carole. 'He never kept going sexually for more than a few minutes at a time,' she said.

"That's when he managed to actually reach his destination."

The little engine that could.

"'The drugs definitely affected his sex drive he often went limp during sex because of the drugs,' she added."

Okay-okay; there is only so far The Corsair is willing to gossip-pimp himself out for the sake some good dish. We are not your dish tart. If you really want the rest, go here.


(S)wine said...

Crack? Crack? That's fabulous. We should send over some Love Boat. Remember 'boat? Or was that strictly a D.C.-thing? (like Chuck Brown and the Soulsearchers)

The Corsair said...

Oh I remember "boat," I mean ... I've heard of it.

Anonymous said...

you said beskanky.

loving you!