Big Momma's House 2



Above: Martin Lawrence as "Big Momma" excavates some comedic "gold" (or, if you prefer, zinc, depending on your tastes; via kinoweb.de)

Oh dear Lord, a "Big Momma's House" franchise (Averted Gaze). Just what the world needs. More bodily-function and weight jokes hilarity sure to ensue. We won't even entertain the possibility that the recent success of "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" may have sped up the greenlight process on this sure to be stinker. We'll resist the terrible urge to entertain that possibility.

Only, in turn: The Corsair wants his $9 refunded from the first movie fiasco. Come on, Martin Lawrence, you little "dehydrated" freak, give it back. Give it (The Corsair shakes an impotent fist at the heavens)! Reuters reports (link via cinematical):

"Zachary Levi and Emily Procter (Ed Note: "Ainsley Haynes" from The West Wing) are joining the cast of 'Big Momma's House 2' for Regency Enterprises/20th Century Fox.

"They join returning cast members Martin Lawrence and Nia Long.

"Levi plays Kevin, an awkward FBI agent with a crush on a co-worker. Kevin is too nervous and shy to make his move until he hooks up with Malcolm Turner (Lawrence)."

Ah yes, the wise African-American cop/agent takes the socially awkward white cop/agent under his wing and teaches him the mysteries of "flava." (Averted Gaze)

"Procter will play the disgruntled wife of a workaholic who is under investigation for murder."

The dangerous woman cliche: Is she guilty? Is she innocent? The black-white urban agent-cop duo have to solve the case ... before someone gets killed.

"While undercover as the nanny in the household, Big Momma shows Procter how to slow down, calm down and reconnect with her family."

Because the "earthy" African-American woman is wise like that.

"Don Rhymer is penning the script."

Granted, there is something to be said for the exhibition of loyalty in LA, and Rhymer did after all write the first "film" (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) -- excuse me, but wouldn' t Tyler Perry be the red-hot name you'd want attached to this?