Thursday, April 21, 2005

Jacko, Sweaty, Pajama Bottoms and Vaseline


You know things are wicked bad when TheSmokinggun writes, "In a legal motion released late yesterday, prosecutors disclosed that they are seeking to present jurors with testimony from a former employee that involves a jar of Vaseline, an 'aroused' King of Pop, and a teenage boy in the singer's bedroom (you'll have to read the document, TSG is not going any further)."

We read it. Whew! Those court reporters can throw down some serious verse, like:"Upon entering, (the security guard) observed the floor to be wet and two wet bathing trunks on the ground. The trunks were side by side."

Pedophilia notwithstanding, that's one sweet-ass parallel construction, yo. We've got another goddamn Flaubert! And: "Jackson called (The Security guard) and asked him to go to get a jar of Vaseline from the center console of the vehicle and bring it to his bedroom."

Whew. Nothing more needs to be said:

Michael Joe Jackson Versus the State of California.

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