Saturday, April 07, 2007

Have the Geeks Cursed New Line Cinema?

(image via deviantart)

Come on now, baby pop. Come on (The Corsair sips an "insouciant" 1962 Barolo Bersano while doing his daily "Teen Steam" exercise dance-routine). Under what self-indulgent circumstances did New Line Cinema ever figure that a movie called "The Last Mimzy" -- a film which has a character named after the studio head's doctor, of all things -- would ever make Box Office Magic? It seems fairly obvious enough to The Corsair, and we are just a blogger, that the box office margins for a film of that peculiar name would stink worse than Charlie Sheen's fetid bedsheets after Hooker Party, or, as they call it in The Life, a "Sheen Special (tm)".

What is wrong with New Line? Have they lost their goddam mojo?

Ever since the fallout with Peter Jackson, their moneymaker, New Line has been in a ghoulish process of rapid disintegration. New Line has gone from the billions of dollars and fisfulls of Oscars of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy to "Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny," What-the-Fuck. And, to be sure, in all of this, the Geeks seethe as only geeks can seethe. Could it be ... that a "GeekCurse" -- or somesuch Disgusting Voodoo -- is in operation?

Geeks are well-known to traffic in Alchemy and other esoteric, ancient Medievalisms in lieu of a healthy sex life. Is it possible one of them used an enchanted ring or somesuch arcana to jinx the fuck out of New Line Studios? That might explain the muscular head-strongness of one Robert K Shaye, head of New Line. From the Gray Lady:

"Mr. Shaye, criticizing what he called Mr. Jackson’s 'arrogance' and calling the director 'myopic,' told Sci-Fi Wire: 'I don’t care about Peter Jackson anymore.' He added, 'He wants to have another $100 million or $50 million, whatever he’s suing us for. He doesn’t want to sit down and talk about it. He thinks that we owe him something after we’ve paid him over a quarter of a billion dollars.'

"Asked about the remarks last week, Mr. Shaye said that he made the statement 'in a moment of emotion' but did not regret it. 'I regret losing a friend,' he said, as he showed a visitor a Gandalf sword that Mr. Jackson had sent him as a gift, before the lawsuit.

"A representative for Mr. Jackson declined to comment."

A curse? A jinx? How else top explain a studio which was at once respected and adored by a rabid geek fanbase, presently reduced to "The Last Mimzy" and -- worse -- "Snakes on a Plane." (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)

1 comment:

Auto Usate Torino said...

good article!