Thursday, August 19, 2004

Michael Alig and James St. James


For the past three weeks, Steven Saban's WorldofWonder has transcribed unintentionally hilarious tape of phone interviews between James St. James and the fascinating and notorious club kid killer, Michael Alig (prisoner #97A-6595, incarcerated for smothering Andre 'Angel' Melendez with a pillow, then allegedly, injecting him with drano), is currently serving some sweet time at Rikers.

According to the NY Times, back then: "He appeared in court with his underpants showing through his trousers and with no laces in his shoes. After three days on Rikers Island, the man who once announced that he wanted to be 'the most famous freak in the world' was reportedly beaten by fellow inmates.' Said Angel's brother, 'What this guy did to him is not even human. I hope he gets the electric chair."

Well, he didn't get the chair. Our wonderful criminal justice system instead hooked him up with a delish piece of proson trade named Cowboy, with budonkadonk, more of which later.

But here's this weeks wacky installment in la vida loca a la Michael Alig, in which the inmates complain of sub par java:

"Alig: ...There was this animosity towards me in every little thing that I�d do. (The inmates) would get mad at me. Like I�d try and serve them coffee and the coffee in here is really poor quality. People in here have an ego problem, they have Napoleonic complexes, some of them get offended if you offer them this coffee because it�s really awful quality and their attitude is, 'What, you think I can�t afford to get my own coffee?' But then again, if you don�t give it to them, it�s like, 'Give me everything I�m suppose to get� � so you lose either way. '

James: Now, what other jobs do you have?

Michael: That�s the only one. I quit. I quit. Well, that was when I was dating Cowboy. Remember Cowboy?

James: No

Michael: I didn�t tell you about Cowboy?

James: No. Tell me about Cowboy.

Michael: James, Cowboy was the one who killed the Prince of Park Avenue!

James: Michael, I don�t know about this.

Michael: Well, you know the case.

James: Oh, is this the whole Screaming Rachael thing? Oh yeah yeah yeah.

Michael: She was dating, supposedly, this Prince of Park Avenue character and coincidentally this boy, his name is Cowboy, he was 17 and he was with this older guy and they were jewel thieves and they broke into this apartment on Park Avenue, this prince, and they stole all his crowns and all his jewels, all the crown jewels of his country, and they killed the prince and three other people in the house. Well, Cowboy is from a trailer park in Georgia and a really sexy baseball player, he was going to be a professional baseball player, and he had no idea the value of these jewels and so he takes his share back to his trailer park in Georgia and he�s doing the laundry and walking the dog and shooting raccoon wearing this king�s crown thinking it�s fake gold or something. And it was solid gold with rubies and emeralds and priceless, you know. So anyway, he gets caught, and they give him a hundred years for that and he�s in Attica with me and, as it turns out, Screaming Rachael also testified against him. So that was our connection. He was so hot � I mean, with this beautiful white trash Southern accent and had no idea, could not understand why it was so sexy to be this white trash trailer-park boy named Cowboy.

James: Oh totally.

Michael: So we became friends and he was coming at me, you know, with this Southern charm. They called him 'The Gentleman Killer' because he was like ...

James: 'Yes sir, no sir.' I love that. So hot."

Which Michal Alig Club Kid are you?


Jane said...

I love the Clubkids, this was a really fun read thank you!!! I think I posted about them too, if you want to read it, it's July 12th "Just A New York Conversation Rattling in my Head"... off to take your quiz, thanks again that brightens my day.

Matthew said...

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