Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Ellen as Gay God


Oh God and Oh God, Book 2 have got to be one of the stinkiest movies ever. Ever! (The Corsair shouts at the top of his lungs) Who the fuck would go see a movie about a God who needs an 11 year old kid helping out his PR by making a slogan. Argh! And those kids they found were such hammy child actors, glazed in the studio lots of Paramount, so very jaded, they were about as cute as a sweaty bookie during Monday Night Football.

As a child, I distinctly remember seeing those cheesy trailers, and the effects those trailers had on seemingly wise adults, the fake laughter, and thinking, "I don't get this. This isn't funny to me. But, I suppose, when I can understand this humor, then I'll be a big boy." Or something like that (The Corsair was a precocious child) But I still don't. Never have.

But now, the studios have cut the unfunny George Burns element, freeing up the comedic juices, placing Ellen Degeneres in the role of Wotan. Why not.

Sure, Mr. Burns was cute in a grandfatherly way, but who ever busted a gut laughing at a cigar smoking septagenerian who weighs 70 pounds soaking wet? Not me, sugarblossom, let me tell you. So, let's give Ellen a chance, as she seems to be rocking daytime tv.

AFlyonthewall reports today:

"The trades reported yesterday about how Ellen DeGeneres was slated to star in a remake of Oh, God! What the stories didn't reveal, however, was whether God as played by DeGeneres would be a rambling, babbling woman or a rambling, babbling lesbian. "'God will definitely be gay,' says a source within Warner Bros. familiar with the project. 'That's the whole point of Ellen's take on the update. God can't come out as God, and she can't come out as a lesbian. But it all works out in the end.' Of course, this will cause some controversy, I imagine. And, of course, controversy sells tickets."

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