Tuesday, August 24, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out

(It's a really slow news day, forgive us ... so slow ... and so hung over ...)

NEW: Fuck if I know who this is. From the La.com blog:

"That movie star may be quite the ladies� man (though you�d never guess it from the brainy dweeb roles he sometimes plays), but he sure is hung up on a certain famous old flame from his checkered past. A notorious boozer and hellraiser, the guy is particularly well known for persuading his endless series of one-nighters to 'slip into something comfortable.' What they probably don�t know is that the 'something comfortable' is culled from a stash of clothes he�s kept that belonged to his ex--a stage, movie and TV name. That�s right, he gets off on trying to get other women to dress like his lost love; then, when they don�t measure up (who could?), it�s easy for him to give them a quick brush-off the morning after. Has this guy seen Vertigo too many times? Dolly guesses the guy is still hurting after his squeeze first cheated on him with a struggling actor/bartender/hustler-type half his age before dumping him for another woman, with whom she�s shacked up ever since."


In: Honey From Paris. Rhythm and Blues crooner Usher admits to having honey flown in from Paris, according to the 3 AM Girls:

"The US chart-topper happily admits to leading a life of luxury. 'I wear expensive jewelry, drive a big car and when I feel like treating myself to something, I do it,' said the 25-year-old crooner who was discovered by P Diddy. The Makes Me Wanna singer added: 'I only buy designer clothes. I have one pair of jeans that cost ($ 7,257).'

"And he admits to having honey flown in from Paris for breakfast. Life's sweet when you have money to burn ..."

Out: Cindy Crawford. There's something going on there that I don't understand. I mean: is she gay, or bi, or what? What?! Remember that ridiculous $30,000 full page ad in the London Times by her and her then-husband Richard Gere, proclaiming their heterosexuality?

Anyhoo: the very cool Steven Saban at World of Wonder asks the question we are all asking, was Cindy Crawford, the icon of feminine beauty in the 80s, gay?

In: Paper Magazine's Cock Rock Odyssey. There are two types of people in the world. Those who look backwards on 80s hair metal bands, from their parents garage, wistfully, as if a Great Era has passed, the Glory Days; and then, there are those who look back fondly, wholly with irony, smiling to themselves, "what was I thinking."

Paper Magazine is in the latter category:

"Are we all in agreement that cock rock has always sucked? I mean, I don't care if you were into Winger or Warrant in the '80s, that's fine. Everybody makes mistakes. But, like alcoholism, admitting you have a problem is the first step toward recovery. As long as you realize that bands like Stryper, Bon Jovi, Poison, Whitesnake, Extreme, Slaughter, Cinderella, Skid Row, and Great White haven't contributed anything to music other than comedic value then we're fine and we can still be friends."

And, further:

"My older brother, Dave, used to listen to the same kind of glam bullshit when I was growing up. It made me cry often and for hours on end. Dave was once a metal head purist and he turned me on to Slayer. So when he started gaying out to bullshit like 'Cherry Pie' it just made me sick. When I was 12 and he was going on 18, he was driving me to school one morning in his primered black '70 Chevelle when I asked him why, why did he listened to such shit, why did he own so much acid wash, why had he gone soft on me?

"'You don't get it,' he told me, 'Chicks love this shit,' holding up the latest Bon Jovi album. 'This stuff will get you laid.' I was 12. Laid? 'I have no idea what that even means. But you need to get your shit together,' I told him. Luckily, he did. Not long after going off to college he disassociated from his sordid musical past. I don't know what he listens to now, if anything, but I know he's not rocking out to Def Leppard. I'm proud of him, too, because he's got enough sense to say, 'I was in a bad place in my life back then,' whenever one of those songs comes on the radio."

God gave Papermag to you, gave papermag to you, god gave papermag for everyone.


The Corsair said...

in a business (modelling) surrounded with all that female beauty who could blame her?

jehjahlu said...

you mean they're still playing that trash on the radio? brittney would be proud..