Monday, August 16, 2004

Clooney Scared of Going Bald

george All men fear male pattern baldness on some wavelength -- that's only natural -- it's a signal that nature is moving, within one's personal field, towards entropy. Virility is in decline. The alpha sex drive will soon decline. A purple twilight is fast approaching -- and then: the void.

According to Ireland Online -- of all places -- George Clooney is particularly scared of male pattern baldness:

"Ocean's Eleven star George Clooney is petrified about shaving his head for his latest role - in case it doesn't grow back. The 43-year-old Hollywood heart-throb is set to go bald and pile on the pounds for a soldier role in Syrania, a movie about the CIA's war on terrorism. A friend says: 'George has no problem with putting on a few pounds - in fact he's looking forward to it.' What he is a little freaked out about is shaving his head. He's been worried about going bald and someone told him that if he shaves his hair off then it might not grow back the same ... He might just crop it now, or maybe wear a skullcap.'"

Concern for those salt and pepper locks, which once launched a thousand schoolgirl hearts during the 80s in The Facts of Life, are probably the result of on-set conversations with Matt Damon who, according to FlyOnTheWall, is himself concerned about his own flaxen tresses.

And why not? "George," on The Facts of Life, was the embodiment of the 80s -- the smug attitude, so resonant during the Reagan Era; the big hair, the floppy New Wave clothing. The Clooney persona is deeply tied to his hair. We share your pain, George. I mean, will you be able to pull all those Conde Nast covers? Will you be able to set all those Conde Nast editors' hearts aflutter if your pate has sunburn freckles from lounging about on your 25 room villa on Lake Cuomo? Will you still be able to smirk?

Male pattern baldness, be not proud?

1 comment:

My hair said...

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