Thursday, August 26, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Brad and Jen are Adopting. Aniston, she of the sharp papparazi antenae, and her high grade piece of ass, Brad Pitt, are, it would appear, in the process of adopting a rugrat, according to Ananova and Brad Pitt's big mouth brother:

"Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are planning to adopt a baby, according to Brad's brother.

"Doug Pitt told Closer magazine: 'I'm really pleased. We're delighted that Brad and Jen are adopting. It will be a great addition for the family.'

"Aniston said in April: 'We're absolutely in the process of having a baby. It's where we're headed.'

"Pitt is equally enthusiastic, especially over the prospect of 'little versions of Jennifer. It's my dream.'

"The couple, married for four years, have already decorated a nursery in their mansion in Beverly Hills."

Out: Vin Diesel's Dog. That Vin Diesel is a dick is pretty much an established fact in the social swirl that is Tinseltown -- that dodgy bouncer past, the hitting on of plastic fembot Janice Dickinson (ewww), the carefully cultivated racial ambiguity (so as to better pimp his junk on urban radio as well as the covers of Conde Nast magazines), that exagerratedly deep voice. But now we hear he's trained his dog to be a dick too, which is a feat, according to MSNBC:
"Vin Diesel�s dog is pretty tough on screenwriters: it bit one in the crotch. Roman, the action star�s massive mastiff, chomped down on screenwriter Michael Kerner�s groin area, and the injured writer promptly filed an $8 million lawsuit."

The Corsair would not "promptly file a lawsuit," he would, more likely, lie in a pool of his sick screaming like a banshee if that were to ever happen to him.

�'This is the kind of dog you have to be introduced to,' Diesel told the London Times. 'And [Kerner] approached the dog and tried to submit it, tried to push his head down. The dog just snapped. . . . Probably was painful.'

The Corsair mouths the words: 'What a DICK!'

"Maybe Roman thought Kerner�s script was too filled with Hollywood clich�s."

In: The Fear of Fans. According to the 3AM Girls, Sir Elton is afraid of his own fans:

"ELTON John once sang that he wanted love, but he doesn't seem to want it from his fans.
Following a run-in with a gang of groupies in Las Vegas, Elton has become a virtual prisoner in the glitzy Caesar's Palace, only leaving the hotel to perform his Vegas shows, according to Q magazine.

"He said: 'Can you imagine how fucking ridiculous it looks for a man my age to be running away from screaming fans?'"

The Corsair thinks that the image of Sir Elton, The Original Rocketman, sprinting, skuffing his expensive shoes, wig hairs flowing gently in the breeze, as a trail of pasty Brits are in hot pursuit, is fairly ridiculous.

Out: Rebecca Romijn. According to the cats at blog, Rebecca is getting a little chubby. The Corsair, frankly, doesn't mind a woman with meat on her bones, as it gives one "something to hold on to," (if you know what I mean) but, being Los Angelinos, mind very much if you smoke:

"Seems that divorce does not agree with Rebecca Romijn-Stamos. The actress and former Victoria's Secret model was recently spotted bargain-hunting in the Woodland Hills Target store. While the sexpot amiably chatted up the cashier, several customers in line behind her noted that the once-sleek beauty was putting on a bit of weight around the middle. One customer remarked that she looked pregnant, but another waved her hand and said, "Naw, she's just fat." Another commented that her arms looked 'prett husky, too.' Dressed in a knee-length jeans skirt, a sky-blue blouse, and a multi-hued Pucci-print bandana over her blonde locks, the X-Men actress paid with a credit card, and once out of the store, she lit up a cigarette and sped out of the lot in a black BMW XS."

I'd still do her. Does that make me a bad person?

In: The T New York Times Style Magazine Launch Party. According to Fashionweekdaily:

"'Who knew this many people were in New York in August?' asked a semi-shocked Anne Christensen, the women�s fashion director of T. Clad in a vintage summer dress, Christensen locked hands with Harper�s Bazaar beauty director, Kerry Diamond, the pair forged forward, through the crowd of well-wishers and guests�more than 800, in a roped off area of 61st Street �to make their way over to Stefano Tonchi, the editor of T and Horacio Silva, in Vuitton, the magazine�s deputy fashion editor. Tonchi, dressed in a YSL suit and looking as refreshed as someone does post-facial, said, 'The one thing I�ve been hearing over and over from people about the magazine is, �It�s about time,� which makes me happy.� Indeed, the magazine got a two-thumbs up review from the fashion elite�including Vanity Fair�s Christine Hahn, Burberry�s John Cross and Prada�s Katherine Ross�all of whom ventured out on a weather-perfect evening of cool breezes and no humidity."

And, from humidity to stupidity:

Out:Beenie Man, bigot, asshole. Thanks again to the eagle-eyed Tom from The Media Drop for hipping me to this. Apparently, Beanie Man has been banned from the VMA's:

"Dancehall star Beenie Man, who has recorded anti-gay songs in the past, was yanked from a concert associated with the MTV Video Music Awards this weekend after gay groups planned a protest, the network said Wednesday.

"MTV pulled the Jamaican singer from the roster Tuesday after South Florida gay activists announced plans to protest Saturday's concert in Miami over some of his past lyrics, including 'I'm dreaming of a new Jamaica, come to execute all the gays' and 'Queers must be killed.'"

Normally I'd avail myself of the opportunity to bust a cap in his booty, heaping scorn against his particular brand of ignorance, but the fact that he chose to name himself that unfortunate name suggests, to be frank, that he is doing an efficient enough job at self-punishment without my involvement.

In: Gawker Stalkers. I love me some Gawker Stalkers, and two really made me chuckle:

"Ryan Adams and Parker Posey were at the Landmark Sunshine at 6:50pm Sunday. They were basically wearing the same outfit-plaid cowboy like shirts and jeans. Parker looks a tad too thin; her hair looks great."

New Yorkers always have the right perspective. Just so long as the hair is okay, and:

"Spotted unfunny Entertainment Weekly columnist and ubiquitous pop culture pundit Joel Stein having lunch at BLT Steak in midtown this afternoon. He is an example of how it does NOT actually make anyone feel good when the irritating, nerdy underdog with chronic upper respiratory issues grows up to be 'successful.'"

I just know that that one was written by a writer. IU can scent my own kind. Finally:

Out: That Mystery Photo. Just what is in the photo that Alec Baldwin and Kim Bassinger are fighting over?

According to that significant cultural artifact, Star:

"Kim Basinger and ex-hubby Alec Baldwin are butting heads yet again, this time over furniture and one mysterious photograph.

Alec, who's currently living in an NYC apartment, is itching to redo his digs and wants Kim to get her furniture out. Kim says she's not budging until Alec hands over a blown-up photo of undisclosed content.

But Alec won't comply easily, leaving us to wonder if the snapshot might show the former lovebirds in a compromising position. Alec's attorney, Vicki Greene, remains tight-lipped about the photo. 'It is a very personal item,' Greene tells Star.

"The two are going to trial Oct. 22 to settle the matter."


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